Aldo7 Posted January 16, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 2 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/14/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 Thank you so much for everyone's replies! I appreciate it God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CreationIsBeautiful Posted January 16, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 48 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 34 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/06/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Yowm said: Staying at home wasn't the issue but getting a job so they could support a wife on their own was because the mother disliked his girlfriend. Also a little humor would help. At no point in that post did he say that he does not work a job. I do agree with one aspect of what you said though. If he worked on being independent, not only would he be better prepared for marriage but who he marries would be his decision. However, I sense that he desires his parent's blessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 19, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 950 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,525 Content Per Day: 5.02 Reputation: 9,025 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 19, 2018 On 1/14/2018 at 8:32 AM, Aldo7 said: Hello! I was hoping to seek some advice. I have started a relationship with a Godly woman. She loves Jesus and lives for him. She's a kind and respectful soul and someone I could possibly see spending the rest of my life with. However I still live at home and my parents disapprove of her only because she's a different race. I don't wanna disrespect my parents but I don't want to lose the relationship because of their opinions. I was hoping to get some advice on what would be the best way to approach this situation? I'm scared that disobeying their wishes of me not dating her would be disrespecting God somehow. I really don't want to disappoint Him either. Thank you First welcome to Worthy. Second welcome to life and it's problems. Of course there are differing cultures and different races. And like it or not there is prejudice of so many kinds against so many things most of us are likely offending to someone, often in our own family for that matter. So it does come down to what is YOUR priority? If you will forgo having this woman in order to please or appease your parents, then this women likely is not a strong enough attraction to you to marry. On the other hand if she is the one for you, you will have to fight for her and the first fight will be with your parents. The issue then becomes how to take the fight to them- is it to be with much understanding and deference? Is it to be an ultimatum put to them? Or is it to be a statement that you understand their hesitation about accepting her, but you ask that they do it anyway for your sake and for hers? - Because you intend to ask her to be your bride, and perhaps there will come children of your marriage, and you want your parents to be welcomed grandparents in your home. It will help if they will try to overcome their own hesitancy. Discuss it with them, that 's what adults ready to make serious life decisions are capable of doing. As to you being able to afford marriage, well that is up to you to calculate, but truth is most I suspect had no ability to do what we did when we married. I sure didn't. Most were dead broke and hoping to have a payday on Friday to buy food, and pay the rent somewhere. If one waits to afford the good things of life before venturing into adulthood and marriage they will likely be at their parent's home till they are in their forties, a time when they could instead be looking at their own kids getting ready to flee mom and dad's nest to run off with some gal not quite up to their parent's standards too. The cycle goes on generation after generation. May God bless you and may your union flourish if this is the one that you want and she wants you. Just please make it work. Give it absolutely everything you have to give, please make that extra effort whenever it is so very hard to go on. Never let the marriage fail if there is anything at all you can do to make it survive. Be that determined, dedicate yourselves to God and dedicate your children when they come as well. Fight the good fight of faith in Jesus as Lord God and savior and finish well, bringing glory to Him. If you are not ready to face that serious lifelong fight then do not do the injustice to your lady of marrying her at this time. Again, may God bless, your decision and effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
God'sOwn Posted January 22, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 4 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/21/2018 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/14/1989 Share Posted January 22, 2018 Hmmm.... Well I am not married neither am I in a relationship but what I can tell you is to go to God in prayers. Speak to God, table down your matter before God. Let him lead you and direct you on what to do. This is the same problem we face in Africa. Even in a Christian home (in Africa), we experience tribal discrimination. Parents saying you can't marry or date a particular tribe or race but one thing that has worked for some couples here is prayers. Eventually, the parents tend to shift grounds after prayers and pastors' advice. So, don't stop praying and seek the help of a good pastor to talk to your parents on your behalf. Nothing is impossible..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sower Posted February 1, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 14 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 5,242 Content Per Day: 0.97 Reputation: 5,844 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/09/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2018 On 1/14/2018 at 12:26 PM, Yowm said: Get a job, make money, move out, marry, start a family, be a man. If you are an invalid and have to stay at home how will you be able to support a wife? Welcome to Worthy Sound biblical advise, does not have to be over ruled by a "proper PC bedside manner". I do not see anything that is against scripture. They may not have been the exact words I used, but they carry the exact meaning I told to my son. Love MUST be tough. A forgotten concept, as you can see in society today. The issue I see is can the man put his priority on his future wife, her first and foremost, without allowing the desires of overbearing parents to take preference. Honor your parents by listening to their advise, but like Yowm said, "be a man" and make your own decisions for the one of the biggest decision you will ever make. Your parents may take it for granted you will comply with their wishes, but if you choose to follow the Lord's direction instead, their love for you should not change, if unconditional. Many overbearing parents do this. That's why you have to start making your own life decisions weighing all the possibilities, trusting, acknowledging God, first. I forced my own daughters and son to begin making their own decisions very early on, music- concerts- friends- church-dress-college-etc. "Children, obey tour parents". I assume you are an adult, not a child, so obey the Word, and what the Lord is directing, you. A MAN of God. Leave the nest, grow your own wings. My own children don't always/usually take my advise since leaving home and raising their own families. And I thank God, they make their own decisions. They have been trained to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Adams Posted February 1, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 26 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9,604 Content Per Day: 3.98 Reputation: 7,795 Days Won: 21 Joined: 09/11/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2018 It is good you consider your parent's advice and opinion. This is God's way. When you provide for yourself, you may still respect your parents but not necessarily follow all their advice. He who makes the gold makes the rules. When you are your own boss and provide everything for yourself, then would be the time to think of a wife. Oh, and there is only one race of humans. Might be differing skin shades, but still human. Thinking otherwise is fraught with danger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sower Posted February 1, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 14 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 5,242 Content Per Day: 0.97 Reputation: 5,844 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/09/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted February 1, 2018 On 1/15/2018 at 7:29 PM, Sanctum said: I thought your reply was rude and totally unnecessary. The OP was asking for advice about his parents. There was a time when most young men lived at home until marriage, and I personally think it should stay that way. Also, just because someone lives at home doesn't mean they have no job. And I don't see anywhere that he says he is an invalid. Please exercise a little compassion and understanding? The post by Yowm may have been viewed by some as rude, and I can see your point, some. Men (fathers) view things differently than mommies. But the advise is necessary, for a man, seeking his way to be the head of his own household. You say; "There was a time when most young men lived at home until marriage, and I personally think it should stay that way." This is your view. I do not agree. It provides no incentive to earn their own way, make tough life decisions. Yes, there was a time like that, where the sons would carry on the family business on the farm, or store/shop ranch etc, as an apprentice etc. Today, that's very rare, as we now live in the industrial/technological/computer world (the real world our kids face). The sooner the better to learn to cope with the world outside the front door. You said; "Please exercise a little compassion and understanding?" Telling some one they may have to change their whole lifestyle, (The Truth) is better than letting compassion and MIS-understanding rule. Love yes! With truth. However tough to swallow. Aldo, and his possible future bride, need to see the real picture, to be prepared. A job if he hasn't one, to support himself and his future wife and kids, with a home, vehicle etc. There's millions and millions of young people out there who were never prepared to deal with adulthood, they were never taught, by parents to walk on their own two feet, make their own decisions, make their own mistakes, and LEARN from them. That is wrong. Us old guys and gals see the sign of the times. I always wonder why, we as parents, deprive our children, of the very thing that gave us character. Tough times, hard work, doing what had to be done, when not liking it. Facing reality. Not all, but most people today in the U.S do not realize what their parents/grandparents went through in this country. The government run school system, socialistic college professors, welfare state, have dummied down our children. And we are to blame. I say give Aldo the blunt truth, he will get over the rough bedside manners. Now, lets hear from the mommies........... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thomas t Posted February 23, 2018 Group: Senior Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 46 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 944 Content Per Day: 0.22 Reputation: 170 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/05/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1980 Share Posted February 23, 2018 Hi Aldo, On 14.1.2018 at 2:32 PM, Aldo7 said: I have started a relationship with a Godly woman. She loves Jesus and lives for him. She's a kind and respectful soul and someone I could possibly see spending the rest of my life with. However I still live at home and my parents disapprove of her only because she's a different race. I don't wanna disrespect my parents but I don't want to lose the relationship because of their opinions. [...] I'm scared that disobeying their wishes of me not dating her would be disrespecting God somehow. I really don't want to disappoint Him either. I think, a racist remark should always be called a racist remark, even when you speak to your own parents. God doesn't judge according to colour - this is my interpretation of "For God shows no partiality." (Romans 2:11) Once you've told your parents your take on racist remarks, would be interesting to see how they will react. Regards, Thomas 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starsong4 Posted March 2, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 29 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 22 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/02/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted March 2, 2018 On 2018-01-14 at 8:32 AM, Aldo7 said: Hello! I was hoping to seek some advice. I have started a relationship with a Godly woman. She loves Jesus and lives for him. She's a kind and respectful soul and someone I could possibly see spending the rest of my life with. However I still live at home and my parents disapprove of her only because she's a different race. I don't wanna disrespect my parents but I don't want to lose the relationship because of their opinions. I was hoping to get some advice on what would be the best way to approach this situation? I'm scared that disobeying their wishes of me not dating her would be disrespecting God somehow. I really don't want to disappoint Him either. Thank you I guess my short and simple response is: they are wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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