Estrella Posted January 15, 2018 Group: Senior Member Followers: 25 Topic Count: 33 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 813 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 1,002 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/11/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted January 15, 2018 I am close to my father and being the eldest, he is usually more concern and protective towards me, even till now. I just need to give him a call if anything and he would be there even if it means he would not sleep the whole day. But of course, after marriage, i know very well that this bond should not be allowed to take control of my marriage or argument will start because of "me listening to my father more than husband kinda thing" which isn't healthy. Of course i listen to both sides, take into account of both views, then i would decide what is deemed appropriate for the given situation or issue. But the discussion would of course be with husband first. The same should go for the son and his mother. The wife would take precedence first than the mum or other family members. His mum should know her limits as to not intrude her son's marriage, unless a situation warrants her involvement, that would uplift or enhance the marriage than to destroy. This is why we have the verses : Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Gen 2:24 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Eph 5:31 Certainly, i understand the expression of "no one can measure up with her father, not even her hubby". I think the same too. No one can ever take the place of my dad, not even my hubby. A father figure and husband are 2 totally different relationship. This expression is surely not meant to demean her husband rather it is to probably say that her father has shaped and influenced her as to who she is and who she has become. It isn't that she is fixated on her father.. or else she wouldnt want to have a husband or marry at all in the first place. In this present times, it is hard to find a father figure because many are called fathers but.... i guess the same is true for mothers. And yes.. i am also close to my mum, but she is not as overtly concerned as how my dad is over me. But when it comes to certain matters, i know i can still run to my mum for advice because...mother knows best. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 15, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 951 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,563 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,043 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 15, 2018 6 hours ago, Equippers said: that father tend to form a closer bond with girls and mother tend to form a closer bond with boys? Is there truth to a stereotyping image of mothers preferring their sons over their daughters? No. Is there truth to a stereotyping image of fathers preferring their daughters over their sons? No. Do individuals sometimes feel jealousy of their sibling's relationship with their common parents? Yes. Is it justified? By traditions of certain cultures It is fact that the eldest son is entitled to greater benefit from a parent as far as inheritance or even standing in family business, so it is real the difference, but even then is jealousy justified? No. Why not? Because God is sovereign in these matters too, and each person should give thanks to God in all things and be loyal and appreciative to the standing God has set out for oneself and for others, all for His good purposes. Not every person is to be king nor queen, but all have their place known to God from before the beginning. Living the best of faith that God does what is perfect for the gaining of one's personal sanctification should be the higher praise, and the potential of jealousy over the standing of others then suppressed as being unworthy, a mark of ungreatfulness of the greater gift- salvation by the sacrifice willingly made by Jesus the atonement of one's personal sin and His redemption of the price of that sin. Praise of God should crowd out any jealousy of any man or woman. Any parent favoring God with all their devotion will find little time to love one child more than another, though they may have to spend more time with one over another as they are led by God to serving Him too. Each child's need being different God may lead a parent to helping each offspring differently. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamnot Posted January 15, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 221 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/23/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/21/1945 Share Posted January 15, 2018 In situations where the husband is abusive toward the wife physically and/or psychologically, the maturing young male might tend to identify with the father and consider the mother as an exploitation object and generalize this to all other women and become a gender chauvinist. Ironically this is associated with a fixation on the mother. It is the mommy's boy that tends to be abusive toward females as if he is trying to break away from the fixation. ....... It is written in Genesis that "A man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and the two shall be as one," but this is difficult to do for a person with a strong fixation for the mother or father. A person can leave his father and mother physically without being able to break loose from the psychological fixation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 15, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 951 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,563 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,043 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 15, 2018 2 hours ago, gamnot said: In situations where the husband is abusive toward the wife physically and/or psychologically, the maturing young male might tend to identify with the father and consider the mother as an exploitation object and generalize this to all other women and become a gender chauvinist. Ironically this is associated with a fixation on the mother. It is the mommy's boy that tends to be abusive toward females as if he is trying to break away from the fixation. ....... It is written in Genesis that "A man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and the two shall be as one," but this is difficult to do for a person with a strong fixation for the mother or father. A person can leave his father and mother physically without being able to break loose from the psychological fixation. Or it could be that very unkind treatment of his mother will make him become a greater gentle-man, one that sees the need for kindness and respect of woman for having lived the lack of it and in it having experienced the effects of depravity. It will be up to him alone under the good purposes of God. May each serve God well by doing all things to His Glory. No one has excuse for their own sin. No one can successfully blame their recent heritage, their environment, nor even the wrath of God upon them as heirs of Adams sin, for their own sins. There simply is no excuse. Each person is accountable for their own self to God, and will not find forgiveness for their own sins in anything other than the blood sacrifice made by Jesus, so that many may be found mature in Christ saved by His mercy and raised in His grace to reflect His glory. Each person must make the decision to hear and heed the specific call by God the Holy Spirit to repent of their sin against God the Father; and to accept Christ Jesus as their personal savior. Then to work at learning God's will for them via the aid of the Holy Spirit, and discerning the word of God, the Bible, so that there is honoring and glorifying of God in all that is done,- all that is done not a few things but all, including being honoring of spouse, children, neighbors, and even strangers in the land, travelers. All is to be done so that many may see Christ in each saved person as they testify of Jesus by their own actions as well as words. May many hear and heed the call from the Holy Spirit to their salvation. All so that many may be presented as mature in Christ. All this other stuff is mumbo jumbo, theories invented of whole cloth, to excuse what is not excusable, ones sin against God by denying what He wills for us to be doing to His Glory.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secretopossumcabal Posted January 15, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 207 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 188 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/15/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted January 15, 2018 I'd say it's a recent development thanks to the feminization of men. Throughout human history, most families preferred boys, as girls were not so useful for labor around the house, furthermore they were liability if they got pregnant before they got married, which is why they married girls off ASAP. which was also healthy for the girls as it suits them with a provider for the rest of their life. It's a huge risk and burden to the family if girls got pregnant before they acquired a provider. Truthfully, any worthwhile parent should not have any preferences, but we're going towards the other way now, as men get more and yet more effeminate, they tend to prefer girls over boys. You see this now in the movies with women taking over the action roles of men. These are effeminate men writing these movies and they show their preference for girls all too vividly. This is part of Satan's plan to turn the natural order upside down -- boys into girls and girls into boys, and it is working. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamnot Posted January 18, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 221 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/23/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/21/1945 Share Posted January 18, 2018 It is true that stereotyping or constellatory thinking has a partial blinding effect on people. I have been guilty of that myself. When I was younger decades ago, a person walked up to me and said: "here is mud in your eye, you only see human beings as trees and not as the unique individual persons which they are." It is certainly true that every person should claim responsibility for their own lives without attempting to justify their unbalanced and corrupted behavior through the way that they were raised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Patriot21 Posted January 18, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 28 Topic Count: 338 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 15,707 Content Per Day: 2.46 Reputation: 8,523 Days Won: 39 Joined: 10/25/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/27/1985 Share Posted January 18, 2018 been true in my house...my daughters a daddys girl, 100%. my son however, gravitates towards his mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamnot Posted January 18, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 221 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/23/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/21/1945 Share Posted January 18, 2018 (edited) On 1/15/2018 at 9:08 AM, secretopossumcabal said: I'd say it's a recent development thanks to the feminization of men. Throughout human history, most families preferred boys, as girls were not so useful for labor around the house, furthermore they were liability if they got pregnant before they got married, which is why they married girls off ASAP. which was also healthy for the girls as it suits them with a provider for the rest of their life. It's a huge risk and burden to the family if girls got pregnant before they acquired a provider. Truthfully, any worthwhile parent should not have any preferences, but we're going towards the other way now, as men get more and yet more effeminate, they tend to prefer girls over boys. You see this now in the movies with women taking over the action roles of men. These are effeminate men writing these movies and they show their preference for girls all too vividly. This is part of Satan's plan to turn the natural order upside down -- boys into girls and girls into boys, and it is working. It is true that many males are become unbalanced and getting on the Pollyanna track, but that is only half the story. ....Just as many males are becoming unbalanced in the opposite direction and are becoming misogynistic and sadistic toward females. This is especially true in the parallel world of the sexual exploitation industries. ........ The book of Ecclesiastes says that God hates all extremes and it is better to take hold of the one thing without letting go of the other. Shakespeare's Henry the fifth expresses the golden standard: "He was as full of valor as of kindness princely in both." Edited January 18, 2018 by gamnot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equippers Posted January 20, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 138 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 1,214 Content Per Day: 0.50 Reputation: 1,163 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/28/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 20, 2018 On 16/01/2018 at 3:08 AM, secretopossumcabal said: I'd say it's a recent development thanks to the feminization of men. Throughout human history, most families preferred boys, as girls were not so useful for labor around the house, furthermore they were liability if they got pregnant before they got married, which is why they married girls off ASAP. which was also healthy for the girls as it suits them with a provider for the rest of their life. It's a huge risk and burden to the family if girls got pregnant before they acquired a provider. Truthfully, any worthwhile parent should not have any preferences, but we're going towards the other way now, as men get more and yet more effeminate, they tend to prefer girls over boys. You see this now in the movies with women taking over the action roles of men. These are effeminate men writing these movies and they show their preference for girls all too vividly. This is part of Satan's plan to turn the natural order upside down -- boys into girls and girls into boys, and it is working. i agree with you in a sense that "radical" feminism has pretty much taken over the mainstream now, the kind that i think that has nothing to do with equality, as in men and women should be equal, even though that what is radical feminist claims to want. i feel like you are seeing much promotion to get boys and men to be ashamed of their masculine traits, and being told the right traits are feminist traits and the only right way and men need to act more feminine it is like i have read when feminists talked about gender pay gap, it is actually more complicated because women tend to choose professions that pays less than professions that men choose, for examples engineers vs nursing. plus women tend to take time off work and that sort of thing also girl are out performing boys at school, have you seen radical feminists who strongly advocate for correction of this issue? i am willing to be corrected on this one if you have seen examples that indicate otherwise as i have not read extensively into this issue and this is just mine impression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreyDestiny Posted January 21, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 131 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 59 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/08/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 21, 2018 Sigmund Freud had a whacky theory. That men lusted after their mothers and women after their fathers. Many of us laugh at this, myself included, but there is a hint of truth in it. You see, the reason why a kid might gravitate towards a parent, let's take a mama's boy for example, is because he is unknowingly learning what to look for in a mate. He will have kids someday, so what better a natural template than his mother? It sounds gross, but people tend to choose partners that remind them of their opposing gender parent. People fear the unknown, so they seek what they know. Like a young girl raised in a home with an abusive father. This girl will seek out aggressive men simply because it is familiar. Then again, I can't provide much of a personal answer as my parents are divorced and my father remarried (I grew up in my father's home). My real mother, i'm honestly not too familiar with. I visit her on holidays sometimes, but still, I don't know her as well as my dad and stepmom. I'd say i'm closer to my stepmom; she's approachable and i'm always concerned about worrying my dad too much. Looking at it from the angle of Freud's views, I should be into women like my stepmother, right? Not really. In fact, my ideal woman isn't like my mom or stepmom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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