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Hello, everyone. I am extremely new to this site. I've searched around for various Christian forums just hoping somebody can help me. I don't mean to offend anybody or bring any type of discomfort to this forum. I especially hope I get no violations. This is a really heavy issue on my heart. I am extremely at the end of my rope with depression and anxiety, but what makes it all worse is how the world views me in this dark body God gave me. I have asked God why this color? Why not make me Asian or Native American? I tried telling myself that He made me black because it pleased him. Why should he care what the world thinks, or form me in the matter what would fit society's standards? I've tried convincing myself that God does not cater to how poorly we human beings view each other. Racism wasn't His fault. He is a supreme being over the created. I've tried convincing myself that only his thoughts about me matter. I've tried looking at the big picture that one day, all of us will unite with him and experience the real TRUTH about EVERYTHING. But none of this convincing is working.

Deep down, I know there is nothing wrong with my skin color, or the hair texture that I have, or the physical features. If there was no racism or the harsh systems against my people, I would be able to walk down the street proudly. However, when you live in a world where DAILY, somebody is reminding you that your skin color is a problem, it starts to get to you...for years and years and years and years. It's like beating up a dog everyday where the dog will eventually think it did something wrong. Social Media is a terrible and evil tool for people to manifest their true feelings about me and my race. I have seen so many cruel things, such as:

1. African't (word CAN'T) as if we can't do anything. As if it's in our DNA to fail, or that we need extra help, or that we're born to suffer.

2. It is believed we aren't civilized. No matter how nice I am, or how wide of a smile I put on my face, I will always be regarded as another black animal. I know I tend to fool people once they hear me speak or experience my personality. I always hope that the mugshots shown on the daily news about a murder or robbery isn't of my race because what one black person does, the rest of the black people are also at fault for it. We are not individually judged, but judged as a whole.

3. We have dirt and less developed countries

4. Slavery was our fault (and even if we were handed over by our brothers and sisters, that still does not excuse the terrible unspeakable things that happened to us.) And even when it was 400 years ago, traces of it are still affecting us today. My ancestors didn't get to own businesses or have land passed down through their generation of future families. I was never able to relate to white folks who talk about the family lineage or how far down the they count their family ancestry. I can't. My history is silent, yet it screams of blood.

5. I am guaranteed at least once a month to see somebody say I'm ugly (not directly), or black women are the least desired all over the world, that their own men don't want them, whether it's to an Indian man, Asian man, White man, or even African man. Men of various races always obsess and desire a White woman. it is NEVER ever ever ever ever anybody that looks like me. And I'm not saying I need their approval, but, it will just feel nice to know that I may look beautiful to somebody every once and a while. I will never or hardly ever in my life see a man of any race say something decent about me. We're not on billboards. We're not on TV with commercials glorifying our skin or looks. When I was a kid white Barbie dolls were heavily emphasized in commercials. The other minority dolls only showed up right at the end of the commercial. I broke my mother's heart when I told her to take back the black doll she gave me. We're never even in video games where we can enjoy cool characters. And if we are in video games, we have very insignificant roles. In movies, we're always portrayed in a very stereotypical ways.

6. Other black people make it harder to be black. Like the Mugshot I just spoke of. I can name so many problems, like falling into gang relations, or having an obnoxious loud attitude, or have terrible customer service in various employment. Some stereotypes are unfortunately true, but it affects m as well.

7. We have the worst health issues. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart diseases, mental illness, Sickle Cell, Lupus, and STD crisis; one of the least healthiest people on the planet.

8. We are regarded as less worthy.

9. Everything a black person does is a big deal. While I get that our names may sound funny, we can't even create our own names without ridiculing. No one ever questions why Asian people have the names the have, or the Arabs, and Indians, and other races of people, but if it's a black person, we need to just have white names. What about owning a business. Black businesses are perceived as low quality. Mexicans and Asians can whip up a business and people will flock to them like crazy. We're not allowed to have a bad day or express anger because if we do, we're being violent, or it's the 'uh-oh, and angry black man/woman!'

10. We are not welcomed anywhere on the planet.

11. We are a totally misunderstood race of people.

12. Racial tensions drive me crazy. Just the insensitive and lack of willingness to even understand a black person's place or their situations. We're told to 'get over it' or 'it's your fault', or 'stop playing the victim', or 'you're looking at things at a wrong perspective'. I am going mad. Nobody understands us, nor do they want to. We are the loneliness race on planet earth. No matter how much we shout and cry and plead, nobody hears us. Nothing changes.  Not even God will do anything. Black people fill up the churches like crazy and can be some of the most God-fearing people, yet we're still severely oppressed

I am emotionally tired. I feel like I just want to go sleep and never wake up. My depression and anxiety have gotten so bad that my body doesn't feel the same anymore. Sunday night I cried to God so hard that I could barely breathe. What was He thinking to even create me? I feel so terrible because I grew up with a wonderful childhood to two of the most amazing parents and a high-spirited family, but they have no idea I'm saying these things. Suicide feels really nice, but it will crush the people around me. I'm 31 years old, and suicide has been chasing me for years and it is constantly getting closer and closer.  I read the bible and I pray, and it doesn't work, or the healing isn't coming fast enough. What can I do in this impossible world where everyday somebody or something lets me know that my skin color will always be an issue? How can anybody or even God expect me to be sane? What can I do? How can I get out of this struggle?

Somebody please help me. How can the bible speak to me with this impossible struggle? A throb is in my throat right now...

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Isaiah 53 speaks of the Messiah Jesus Christ.

Isa 53:1  Who has believed what he has heard from us? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?

Isa 53:2  For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. Isa 53:3  He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isa 53:4  Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. Isa 53:5  But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed. Isa 53:6  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. Isa 53:7  He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. Isa 53:8  By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? Isa 53:9  And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth.

Isa 53:10  Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. Isa 53:11  Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. Isa 53:12  Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Jesus knows your pain and sorrows, and sits at the right hand of the Father praying for you right now.  You share in the sufferings of Christ.

Romans 8

Rom 8:31  What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Rom 8:32  He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Rom 8:33  Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Rom 8:34  Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.

Rom 8:35  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? Rom 8:36  As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." Rom 8:37  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.Rom 8:38  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, Rom 8:39  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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1 hour ago, Darian86 said:

Hello, everyone. I am extremely new to this site. I've searched around for various Christian forums just hoping somebody can help me. I don't mean to offend anybody or bring any type of discomfort to this forum. I especially hope I get no violations. This is a really heavy issue on my heart. I am extremely at the end of my rope with depression and anxiety, but what makes it all worse is how the world views me in this dark body God gave me. I have asked God why this color? Why not make me Asian or Native American? I tried telling myself that He made me black because it pleased him. Why should he care what the world thinks, or form me in the matter what would fit society's standards? I've tried convincing myself that God does not cater to how poorly we human beings view each other. Racism wasn't His fault. He is a supreme being over the created. I've tried convincing myself that only his thoughts about me matter. I've tried looking at the big picture that one day, all of us will unite with him and experience the real TRUTH about EVERYTHING. But none of this convincing is working.

Deep down, I know there is nothing wrong with my skin color, or the hair texture that I have, or the physical features. If there was no racism or the harsh systems against my people, I would be able to walk down the street proudly. However, when you live in a world where DAILY, somebody is reminding you that your skin color is a problem, it starts to get to you...for years and years and years and years. It's like beating up a dog everyday where the dog will eventually think it did something wrong. Social Media is a terrible and evil tool for people to manifest their true feelings about me and my race. I have seen so many cruel things, such as:

1. African't (word CAN'T) as if we can't do anything. As if it's in our DNA to fail, or that we need extra help, or that we're born to suffer.

2. It is believed we aren't civilized. No matter how nice I am, or how wide of a smile I put on my face, I will always be regarded as another black animal. I know I tend to fool people once they hear me speak or experience my personality. I always hope that the mugshots shown on the daily news about a murder or robbery isn't of my race because what one black person does, the rest of the black people are also at fault for it. We are not individually judged, but judged as a whole.

3. We have dirt and less developed countries

4. Slavery was our fault (and even if we were handed over by our brothers and sisters, that still does not excuse the terrible unspeakable things that happened to us.) And even when it was 400 years ago, traces of it are still affecting us today. My ancestors didn't get to own businesses or have land passed down through their generation of future families. I was never able to relate to white folks who talk about the family lineage or how far down the they count their family ancestry. I can't. My history is silent, yet it screams of blood.

5. I am guaranteed at least once a month to see somebody say I'm ugly (not directly), or black women are the least desired all over the world, that their own men don't want them, whether it's to an Indian man, Asian man, White man, or even African man. Men of various races always obsess and desire a White woman. it is NEVER ever ever ever ever anybody that looks like me. And I'm not saying I need their approval, but, it will just feel nice to know that I may look beautiful to somebody every once and a while. I will never or hardly ever in my life see a man of any race say something decent about me. We're not on billboards. We're not on TV with commercials glorifying our skin or looks. When I was a kid white Barbie dolls were heavily emphasized in commercials. The other minority dolls only showed up right at the end of the commercial. I broke my mother's heart when I told her to take back the black doll she gave me. We're never even in video games where we can enjoy cool characters. And if we are in video games, we have very insignificant roles. In movies, we're always portrayed in a very stereotypical ways.

6. Other black people make it harder to be black. Like the Mugshot I just spoke of. I can name so many problems, like falling into gang relations, or having an obnoxious loud attitude, or have terrible customer service in various employment. Some stereotypes are unfortunately true, but it affects m as well.

7. We have the worst health issues. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart diseases, mental illness, Sickle Cell, Lupus, and STD crisis; one of the least healthiest people on the planet.

8. We are regarded as less worthy.

9. Everything a black person does is a big deal. While I get that our names may sound funny, we can't even create our own names without ridiculing. No one ever questions why Asian people have the names the have, or the Arabs, and Indians, and other races of people, but if it's a black person, we need to just have white names. What about owning a business. Black businesses are perceived as low quality. Mexicans and Asians can whip up a business and people will flock to them like crazy. We're not allowed to have a bad day or express anger because if we do, we're being violent, or it's the 'uh-oh, and angry black man/woman!'

10. We are not welcomed anywhere on the planet.

11. We are a totally misunderstood race of people.

12. Racial tensions drive me crazy. Just the insensitive and lack of willingness to even understand a black person's place or their situations. We're told to 'get over it' or 'it's your fault', or 'stop playing the victim', or 'you're looking at things at a wrong perspective'. I am going mad. Nobody understands us, nor do they want to. We are the loneliness race on planet earth. No matter how much we shout and cry and plead, nobody hears us. Nothing changes.  Not even God will do anything. Black people fill up the churches like crazy and can be some of the most God-fearing people, yet we're still severely oppressed

I am emotionally tired. I feel like I just want to go sleep and never wake up. My depression and anxiety have gotten so bad that my body doesn't feel the same anymore. Sunday night I cried to God so hard that I could barely breathe. What was He thinking to even create me? I feel so terrible because I grew up with a wonderful childhood to two of the most amazing parents and a high-spirited family, but they have no idea I'm saying these things. Suicide feels really nice, but it will crush the people around me. I'm 31 years old, and suicide has been chasing me for years and it is constantly getting closer and closer.  I read the bible and I pray, and it doesn't work, or the healing isn't coming fast enough. What can I do in this impossible world where everyday somebody or something lets me know that my skin color will always be an issue? How can anybody or even God expect me to be sane? What can I do? How can I get out of this struggle?

Somebody please help me. How can the bible speak to me with this impossible struggle? A throb is in my throat right now...

Love yourself for who you are. No matter what color you are. God does. What the world says or does makes no difference. Stay close to God during all of your tribulation. Pray to Him often.

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Hello and welcome!

Watch Stephen Darby Ministries on YouTube.

He will give you a lift I believe.

White or black, what you describe (believe it or not) happens to a lot of us. There is always an unseen spiritual component. 

In a very strange way (they call it paranoia) I have felt the brunt of much hatred and adversity. Why? Because of my DNA and my parents that I never met. Being half Israeli means that the unseen realm is ALREADY prejudiced against you. There is much more - but this is about you and not me.

Check out Darby. He does not mince words. Most of civilization before the flood was just like you.

Remember this little saying.
Small minds talk about people.
Mediocre minds talk about events.
Great minds talk about ideals.

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... I read the bible and I pray, and it doesn't work ...

Shalom,

 Dear Darian, the above line of your letter is, probably, the only one I dare to disagree with. For our Holy Bible (not bible) worth much more than just reading. Behold, it's a Precious Well of Answers to literally every question this clumsy world might find to ask, let alone the proved way of Communion with the LORD our GOD. Believe me, using the Bible as a sort of sleeping pills when reading it at bed, as some simpletons do, is stupid. As for the Sacrament of Prayer -- another good way to talk with GOD -- Yes, it does work, just pray believing the Omnipresent One is listening.

I love the above letter our Sister wrote to you. Do well to continue write to one another. Verily, she has her heart in the right place.

Probably, you are not very rich. That I deduct from the way other people behave toward you. In this word the money is a well-tested "shutupper..."

Where can you find the right friends? Put a check-mark on that, because you've already found them right here on this Forum. Where to find more? In the first Bible-Believing Christian Church coming your way. The same about the man to marry. Ye know, I've been here for just a month, but have already had a history of "counseling" unhappy non-christian families. Where to find good employment? In the Christian Charity, whether paid or not. How come? You will understand that, just switch off the common sense. (And do that every time you open your Bible.)

Where to see "black" people on the screen? Seek and ye shall find... Just to help a bit, I dare advise you to watch this good Christian movie The War Room. By the by, the main actress (see her picture below) has her Ministry. You may find it on the internet. I tried myself to write her to thank for the movie, but got no answer (despite the fact she is "black" and I'm "white". Sorry for my ex-military "black" humor.) The other movies are, The Encounter, Miracles From Heaven, Clancy, The Green Mile, Fireproof, Courageous, Do You Believe?, A Matter Of Faith, etc.

GOD bless you, Sister.

Igor

Priscilla C. Shirer.jpg

T.C. Stallings.jpg

Alena Pitts.jpg

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Welcome to Worthy!

The add to what others have said, I would suggest staying off social media. When people have anonymity, they feel they can let darkness out without consequences. Twitter is a toxic place these days. If you feel it burdening you, cut it off! Instead, hang out here with us! :)

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Hi Darian86

I don't know if this has anything to do with the colour of any ones skin, but it is stated that Moses married an Ethiopian woman. It is definitely stated in Ex. 2:15-25; 18:1-27 that Moses married Zipporah, the daughter of the priest of Midian, Midian was a son of Abraham through Keturah (Gen. 25:1-6). This land of Midian was originally a part of the land of Cush from which descended the Ethiopians. The Ethiopians had conquered nearly all of Egypt in the days of Moses. They evidently had also conquered the land of Midian thus making the Midianites subjects of Ethiopia.

So, who's to say you, or any other African person may not be a direct descendent of Moses?

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On 1/16/2018 at 3:45 PM, Darian86 said:

Somebody please help me. How can the bible speak to me with this impossible struggle? A throb is in my throat right now...

Hi, Darian, and welcome to Worthy.  I read your entire post but I just quoted the last paragraph to save space.  I see that you are believing the world isn't for you but didn't God put you here? Problems and heartaches don't just happen to black people, they happen to everyone and pretty much ALL people are dissatisfied with their looks, status or whatever at some point..

Before you believe that black people are lesser beings, consider the richest woman in the U.S., Ooprah Winfrey, is black.  The top astrophysicist in the U.S., Neil DeGrasse, is black.   The top pediatric neurosurgeon in the world, Dr. Ben Carson (retired) is black and is now the head of the Dept. of Housing and Urban Development.  We have had a black Secretary of State, a black National Security Advisor, two black Attornies General and a black President.  We have numerous black Senators and  Representatives in Congress.  We have three black astronauts.   So think about those people, and they are just a few among many, and ask yourself why you think black people are lesser beings?  And, as for slavery, that was not you or anyone alive today.  My own people were once serfs (slaves) of the British Crown and I guarantee I don't worry about it.  Give God some credit and yourself as well.  Black women are models and actresses (Halle Barry, Beyonce, Kerry Washington, Jordyn Sparks etc.). The facts tell you that none of that old stereotypical rubbish about blacks, or any race, should be a part of our lives today.  God made you, me, and everyone else just as He wanted us.

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38 minutes ago, MorningGlory said:

And, as for slavery, that was not you or anyone alive today.  My own people were once serfs (slaves) of the British Crown and I guarantee I don't worry about it.  

MorningGlory, thank you for taking the time to read my question. What kind of stung me was this response. My history may not be the same as yours and you may not fully understand how it affects me or my race today. But just becuase I personally wasn't invovled in that time era, doesn't mean that makes it less important or that 'that was then, this is now' (which I'm not accusing you of anything).  When I look at the lines in my hands, I see my ancestors. I AM my ancestors and I care for them even if I didn't know them or aren't alive today.

As I've stated, traces of it really do lurk. After they were freed, that still didn't make it any better for the slaves because they were banned to work at certain places. Then you had the civil rights which was in my parents' time, and then we're still trying to get out of oppression. For example, my grandmother had to march in the streets to protest for rights. This is my DAD's mother. Very close. My grandmother was also raped by a white man but they chased her out of town when she tried to get justice for it. This is my DAD's mother. Not very long ago at all. I have a woman on my mom's side who never knew her age becuase she wasn't considered human to have a birth certificate. My dad was stopped and repeatedly asked by a cop if he had a gun in the car, when clearly, my dad answered 'No' every single time. This wasn't long ago. This was right within my living family. This is why there is a lot of depression I am living with because being black seems dangerous and lures people to for whatever reason, to have this intense urge to mistreat me. I get that we all have problems, but you have never walked in the shows of a black person to truly understand. It is a daily struggle. DAILY. 

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