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Captain Geno

Age Appropriate Dating

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Hi all,

I've been approached by friends recently inquiring whether i am interested in dating or pursuing a relationship having divorced a year ago. Frankly, I didn't know how to answer them honestly. Of coarse I've given thought about companions and relationships. Who hasn't or doesn't if single? And in those thoughts lies the problem or question. I am 58 years old.

So in my mind, I consider how low should/could I go. Half my age of 30! half of half at 45? Does my range go above say +5 or even +10!

Why do men go low and Women are willing to go high? As I get older and health/fitness may become issues, is that fair to the younger partner. Is this a fixed, variable or sliding range? Do women have age limits in mind or use different parameters?

How does society and Christians view such things.

So I would ask your opinions on what is appropriate age gaps.

 

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2 hours ago, Captain Geno said:

Hi all,

I've been approached by friends recently inquiring whether i am interested in dating or pursuing a relationship having divorced a year ago. Frankly, I didn't know how to answer them honestly. Of coarse I've given thought about companions and relationships. Who hasn't or doesn't if single? And in those thoughts lies the problem or question. I am 58 years old.

So in my mind, I consider how low should/could I go. Half my age of 30! half of half at 45? Does my range go above say +5 or even +10!

Why do men go low and Women are willing to go high? As I get older and health/fitness may become issues, is that fair to the younger partner. Is this a fixed, variable or sliding range? Do women have age limits in mind or use different parameters?

How does society and Christians view such things.

So I would ask your opinions on what is appropriate age gaps.

 

It is a matter of preference. Do you want to date someone who could be your daughter? I have decided not to remarry but I have had friends try to set me up. I declined.

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5 hours ago, Captain Geno said:

Hi all,

I've been approached by friends recently inquiring whether i am interested in dating or pursuing a relationship having divorced a year ago. Frankly, I didn't know how to answer them honestly. Of coarse I've given thought about companions and relationships. Who hasn't or doesn't if single? And in those thoughts lies the problem or question. I am 58 years old.

So in my mind, I consider how low should/could I go. Half my age of 30! half of half at 45? Does my range go above say +5 or even +10!

Why do men go low and Women are willing to go high? As I get older and health/fitness may become issues, is that fair to the younger partner. Is this a fixed, variable or sliding range? Do women have age limits in mind or use different parameters?

How does society and Christians view such things.

So I would ask your opinions on what is appropriate age gaps.

 

My personal opinion would be that one should stay within 15 years of their own age. I feel like anything outside of that sort of runs into problems with communicating/relating/personal drama, of course this varies from person to person and in all reality what folks decide to do is their own business; if both people are interested then by all means, move forward in it. 

As a single 30 year old lady, I would probably stick with people from the ages of 32 -45ish, that's just my personal feelings on the matter of course, its what I feel most comfortable with. *shrugs* 

I don't think you're going to get a set answer that folks agree on here, as I feel like it varies from person to person, what I think is a-okay, another will deem incorrect. I'd honestly say you'll have to chalk this up to personal conviction and guidance from our Lord, as we all should when making the decision on whom we should pursue, but I'm sure you know that already. :) 

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Men accrue more power with age, whereas women derive power through their youth and beauty, additionally men are not attracted to female empowerment. Men like women who are innocent like children, meaning the smaller a woman makes herself, the more her partner desires her. Whereas women are attracted to alpha males, males are not attracted to dominant females, so that's pretty much why men go lower and women go higher. 

I don't like significant age gaps myself as they smack of something that's more physical rather than spiritual, it makes me sad whenever I see it, but IMO, i think anything pass 10 speaks of a relationship that is more physical than spiritual, and those will raise eyebrows.   

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On 1/24/2018 at 7:30 PM, Captain Geno said:

So in my mind, I consider how low should/could I go. Half my age of 30! half of half at 45? Does my range go above say +5 or even +10!

Hello Captain Geno.

The truth is that women get older and the older a women gets for sure her looks begin to change, as the skin and body also begin to age with all its little problems and discomforts.

The older women in truth would have a harder time finding a man her own age who is looking for true christian companionship. Usually the man as he gets older, looks more and more for younger women and women because they no longer can pick like in their youth have to settle and usually it is with someone older because anyone her age of the opposite sex, many are  looking for someone younger.

 

Just with men they have an advantage - the smart, fit and successful ones do. They can probably begin life again with a new family in the middle of their lives with a younger girl as much as 25 years younger as long as they have the proper requirement : smart, fit, successful. 

****The thing is that not everybody looking for a relationship is a good, honest , christian bible abiding soul.**** on both  sides of the sexes.

And many can be taken in, chewed up and spit out... with not to much care from the one doing it.

And when it come to -ATTRACTION-  relationships -  There are always predictors. SEXUAL PREDATORS.  These sexual predators can be found more in men than in women( from what i have seen) and if we speak of men, they can be quite corrupt. Many times these men can be very successful and they know how to charm from a very young child to teenager to young adult -young men and or women) These sexual predators have no care in the world if they destroy another life, just as long as they got away with their jollies. I speak more of men because i have seen  -men- do this ( not one man but many men.) So I know what i am talking about by having witnessed this.

The scary thing is that many such predators are roaming around and are getting away with what they are doing in every community.

OK coming back to a normal christian man looking to have a relation ship with a much younger normal christian lady? If you are not ***successful, smart,  fit, or have anything beneficial to offer in a relationship***, it will be difficult to find.

When older and sincere as a christian person of regular means, the best way to find true christian companionship is to look for someone closer to your own age than not. This way you will have things in common to do and talk about. , and can find a true loving caring relationship where you know you will be loved and cared for for who you are and not for what you have.

If you want absolutely a much younger women to make you feel alive again? well then, you also will have to deal with not only the benefits but also the risks involved in seeking such a relationship, even if you find it in a christian  -milieu.- These days a -christian milieu -means nothing when it comes to predators as they are found in all walks of life.

and be careful for what you pray for, and from where you are coming from pride or humility ( the devil can also hear some of your intentions, and can be allowed to put you to test)- sometimes we are sent lessons to learn and they can be not so fun to recover from after the fun has expired...

 

Also some people have this need to find be once again in a relationship while others are perfectly content to live single lives.

As the Holy bible mentions, depending on your own self for some it is better to remarry if the spouse has died than it is to remain single.

But if you are divorced (depending on what grounds) and want to abide by what the Holy bible dictated about divorce, you may just have to accept that now your life is to remain a single one.

I can find a lot worse things than having to live a single life for the rest of your life.

For sure Seek God and His Word in all you plan to undertake and He shall guide your path.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by 1to3
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2 hours ago, 1to3 said:

 

But if you are divorced? and want to abide by what the Holy bible dictated about divorce, you may just have to accept that now your life is to remain a single one.

I can find a lot worse things than having to live a single life for the rest of your life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not picking here or trying to start a debate - I don't even belong in this forum - but I felt the need to clarify something in your post. The Bible is very clear regarding divorce, and there are certain instances where one can remarry following a divorce without it going against God's law. I didn't want anyone to read this and be confused. I do think that it is a personal conviction and some may feel like they cannot remarry even if their spouse was unfaithful or abandoned them, however many do desire to find someone to spend the rest of the lives with and there is nothing to prevent that according to the Word. 

 

I also agree that there are far worse things than being single for the rest of your life, like being miserably married. ;)

 

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18 minutes ago, TheAimes said:

The Bible is very clear regarding divorce, and there are certain instances where one can remarry following a divorce without it going against God's law

This is correct, so to not be misunderstood   I edited by stating  : (depending on what grounds)

3 hours ago, 1to3 said:

But if you are divorced (depending on what grounds) and want to abide by what the Holy bible dictated about divorce, you may just have to accept that now your life is to remain a single one.

I can find a lot worse things than having to live a single life for the rest of your life.

For sure Seek God and His Word in all you plan to undertake and He shall guide your path.

 

 

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Fifty eight! Man, to be fifty eight again. God has granted me His threescore and ten and then some, and I intend to work and stay active as much as He allows. I go to church with a gentleman, solid Christian, who lost his wife a few years ago, who past away. This gentleman is one of those faithful ones who always show up to help, weekend work days for the men, kitchen help, bus driving, visitation, etc. He just got remarried a few months ago to his new bride, who is about seventy eight. My friend is eighty two.....................:cool:

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18 minutes ago, Gary Lee said:

Fifty eight! Man, to be fifty eight again. God has granted me His threescore and ten and then some, and I intend to work and stay active as much as He allows. I go to church with a gentleman, solid Christian, who lost his wife a few years ago, who past away. This gentleman is one of those faithful ones who always show up to help, weekend work days for the men, kitchen help, bus driving, visitation, etc. He just got remarried a few months ago to his new bride, who is about seventy eight. My friend is eighty two.....................:cool:

Well God Bless them in their new reunion :D

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