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StinaW

How do you deal with troubled teenager

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I have a 16 yr old son who fights me every step of the way and doesn't want to attend school he is a sophomore.. should be if he will ever go.. His dad is no help at all. he said that if he doesn't come in for school then he doesn't need to be in school.. I guess what I need is more of a prayer team to surround my son and for guidance for a christian gentleman to come into his life to help him figure things out..

If you have to move this to another section that will be fine with me.. I am not sure where to place this..

I really could use some prayer and advice on what to do with him.

Thanks everybody for reading and for the prayers that I know will come from this.

Your Awesome! 

God Bless!

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44 minutes ago, StinaW said:

I have a 16 yr old son who fights me every step of the way and doesn't want to attend school he is a sophomore.. should be if he will ever go.. His dad is no help at all. he said that if he doesn't come in for school then he doesn't need to be in school.. I guess what I need is more of a prayer team to surround my son and for guidance for a christian gentleman to come into his life to help him figure things out..

If you have to move this to another section that will be fine with me.. I am not sure where to place this..

I really could use some prayer and advice on what to do with him.

Thanks everybody for reading and for the prayers that I know will come from this.

Your Awesome! 

God Bless!

Strong willed? Have you asked your son why he does not want to go to school? Have you patiently sat down and really listened to what he has to say? Perhaps you should seek a Christian counselor for some family counseling. Also give your son to God. Does your son know God?

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On ‎30‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 2:24 PM, StinaW said:

I have a 16 yr old son who fights me every step of the way and doesn't want to attend school he is a sophomore.. should be if he will ever go.. His dad is no help at all. he said that if he doesn't come in for school then he doesn't need to be in school.. I guess what I need is more of a prayer team to surround my son and for guidance for a christian gentleman to come into his life to help him figure things out..

If you have to move this to another section that will be fine with me.. I am not sure where to place this..

I really could use some prayer and advice on what to do with him.

Thanks everybody for reading and for the prayers that I know will come from this.

Your Awesome! 

God Bless!

Hi Stina,

Pleased to meet you and thank you for sharing your difficulty. I have been a school teacher for many years, however I do know that `life` is the best teacher. Today so many facts and figures and worldly philosophy is poured into the vulnerable children`s minds. So `school` isn`t always the best solution. People say "well you need certificates to get on in the world." But you see is that your goal for your son, or even his. God`s desire is for character and that can be outworked in any sort of job.

Since your son does not desire to go to school then maybe he is not a `book` type but more a practical person, one who desires to be able to learn about practical things. Would he like to do an apprentice to learn a trade.?

So don`t just think the way of the world, but what your son is talented with, interested in. It is his life and as he is now 16 it is getting to the point where soon it will be that the `bird will fly the coop.` Work with your son, as I know you desire the best for him, but then what is the best?

all the best, Marilyn.

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Hello Stina

Praying for your son, you, your husband and the situation, and for God's will to be done in your lives.

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It is hard to give advice with very little information, but consider one of these options:

  1. If you and your son can talk, talk, and listen. Tell him your own story, your dreams, what you expected out of life, how the vision is turning out, what you see for the future for yourself. Be honest. He may see himself in you, which is better than any classroom.
  2. Tell him he can report to school or report to you, that you brought him into the world, and that is all God has allowed you to offer.
  3. Sell half of everything you own. Buy only half of what the two of you would normally eat when you go to the store. Tell him the other half is on him.

Remember, God is with you, always.

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Marilyn, 

Thanks for responding and giving me some advice. You are right he is only interested in working on cars. Yet I know that he needs an education to get his ASE certified to make the decent money at it. I have talked with his about job corp and he totally ignores me about it because I live in MT and the only mechanics that job corp offers here is for the big rigs and he is not interested in that and I have done research on line and the closest job corp that does offer it is either south or back east and with being a single mom I barely can survive as it is. I work 40+ hrs a week and my ex.. he is on ssdi and doesn't help at all.. and remarried with another kid.. so I don't know how I would even move if I had to or send him any where.. my son stays up all night playing games or talking to girls so when I get up he is just going to bed. I am working with him on getting his license so he can drive and get a job. which with one day off it's hard to do when your so tired. God gives me strength when I need it the most and always came thru for us. 

It's time to get ready for work.

Thanks everybody for responding I will try to respond when I can.. until then I am reading your posts and I want to thank you all it has been a hugh blessing!

Have a Wonderful Day!

God Bless!

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Hi, at first I wondered if your son didn't want to go to school because he was being bullied, etc, and that you should talk with him to find out.   But now I read he stays up all night playing games or talking to girls!!   So that is apparently why he doesn't want to go to school...

I think you should have a heart to heart talk with him about how hard it can be in life if you don't get an education and proper job training.   And also when he does get a job, unless he works nights, he will have to go to sleep and get up to go to work.  I really think you need to stress this to him.

I don't know if he could handle the discipline of the armed services, not right now anyhow.   But I know people (even a female cousin) who got wonderful job training in the armed forces.   My cousin is now out of the service and has a wonderful job at a hospital, the training she received in the service.

P.S.  Another thing, electric cars are on the horizon, something to think about.

 

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10 hours ago, StinaW said:

Marilyn, 

Thanks for responding and giving me some advice. You are right he is only interested in working on cars. Yet I know that he needs an education to get his ASE certified to make the decent money at it. I have talked with his about job corp and he totally ignores me about it because I live in MT and the only mechanics that job corp offers here is for the big rigs and he is not interested in that and I have done research on line and the closest job corp that does offer it is either south or back east and with being a single mom I barely can survive as it is. I work 40+ hrs a week and my ex.. he is on ssdi and doesn't help at all.. and remarried with another kid.. so I don't know how I would even move if I had to or send him any where.. my son stays up all night playing games or talking to girls so when I get up he is just going to bed. I am working with him on getting his license so he can drive and get a job. which with one day off it's hard to do when your so tired. God gives me strength when I need it the most and always came thru for us. 

It's time to get ready for work.

Thanks everybody for responding I will try to respond when I can.. until then I am reading your posts and I want to thank you all it has been a hugh blessing!

Have a Wonderful Day!

God Bless!

Hi Stina,

I feel for you however I know that these hard times can make us press into God. Now we know that God, our heavenly Father does believe in discipline. (Heb. 12: 3 - 11) Probably a good idea to read that.

So...my suggestion is that as your son has access to the internet (playing games) and talking to girls, then you have leverage. It seems he is getting all that for `free` and not having to be accountable. Thus now I think he should have to earn time on the internet (only at certain times). Either he should go to school or get a job however menial, and thus learn to `work` as we all do in this life. You only have a short time now to help him as soon I can see him going and mooching off others and not having to work or study.

Marilyn.

 

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Hello Stina

I hope when you go to sleep you can get good quality sleep.  It really makes a difference, I believe.  May God bless all your endeavours to help your son and get him to listen to you.

Do you have any family close by that could visit you and speak to your son?  Obviously he may wake up to the knowledge that they are there partly for his sake, but sometimes it takes a friend or family member, or even a stranger in passing, to say something that he will listen to and that thought will stay in his mind.

I was in a similar position years ago.  Many of us are now experiencing the same thing.  I had the help of a believing husband by my side.  However, it was very difficult.  Pray that God will intervene.

Teenagers (and God never called them this; it is a modern term) - adolescents are going through huge changes from the ages of about 11 and 18, as you would be fully aware.  This does not excuse his behaviour but perhaps explains it somewhat.

My advice would be to not get on his case too much (the temptation is there, I know) but continue to beseech the Lord in "the war room" and trust Him for the outcome.  My prayer for you, again, is that God's will be done in all your lives.  Our prayers and care are with you.

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