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Terra-

My husband's ex wife

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My stepson is 19 years old, he only comes around to visit or to say hi if he is in need of something. He never acknowledges any of his siblings or myself he only says happy birthday to his dad on his birthday and again never acknowledges the rest of us on ours. Now he is asking my husband to fix his mother's truck and she will pay him to do so. I would really would rather him not fix her truck she has put us through Court throughout the years, programs to keep him us away from us, taken away precious time with him over the years and has caused nothing but pain and suffering for us. My husband feels guilty because he wants to spend time with his son but I really don't think that he should be doing anything for her and I don't appreciate my stepson manipulating my husband for his mom's sake. What do you all think?

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That is a tough one.  Are there any mechanics around that could do the work for her so you guys don't have to do it?

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1 hour ago, Terra- said:

My stepson is 19 years old, he only comes around to visit or to say hi if he is in need of something. He never acknowledges any of his siblings or myself he only says happy birthday to his dad on his birthday and again never acknowledges the rest of us on ours. Now he is asking my husband to fix his mother's truck and she will pay him to do so. I would really would rather him not fix her truck she has put us through Court throughout the years, programs to keep him us away from us, taken away precious time with him over the years and has caused nothing but pain and suffering for us. My husband feels guilty because he wants to spend time with his son but I really don't think that he should be doing anything for her and I don't appreciate my stepson manipulating my husband for his mom's sake. What do you all think?

Have you even sat down and had a talk with your stepson and told him your concerns? Are you a Christian? You do know that God asks us to help others. It sounds like you have some anger issues with your husbands ex wife. You need to give this to God if you are a praying person.

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Hi Terra-

I agree with missmuffet.  However, that said, I also think that your husband's ex-wife (without reading her side of the story) seems to me to be manipulative.  If she wanted to move on with her life, she could easily pay someone else to do the mechanical work on the vehicle.   I am wondering whether she wants your husband to feel guilty for some reason, and uses that.

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It is a wicked can of worms to be sure. The guy does need to say 'no'. And also explain to his son why. Maybe then his son will not be author to another similar circumstance. These things are so distressing and men do not do well when women manipulate and play on the heart-strings.

I think it is china that has strife pictorially represented as two women under the same roof.

Edited by Justin Adams

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14 hours ago, Terra- said:

My stepson is 19 years old, he only comes around to visit or to say hi if he is in need of something. He never acknowledges any of his siblings or myself he only says happy birthday to his dad on his birthday and again never acknowledges the rest of us on ours. Now he is asking my husband to fix his mother's truck and she will pay him to do so. I would really would rather him not fix her truck she has put us through Court throughout the years, programs to keep him us away from us, taken away precious time with him over the years and has caused nothing but pain and suffering for us. My husband feels guilty because he wants to spend time with his son but I really don't think that he should be doing anything for her and I don't appreciate my stepson manipulating my husband for his mom's sake. What do you all think?

Tell your husband he can spend time with his son in other ways if this is what makes him feel guilty.

Unless your family needs the extra money, your husband can decline to fix her car.

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It's hard to give advice with so little information about a situation as complex as this. I will say that God calls on us to turn the other cheek and help others as a testimony of our faith. If I were you, I might ask myself what the motivations of my heart are about not helping this woman. I would just advise to make sure you guard your heart against any bitterness or jealousy.

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