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I'm going to kill myself in 2 weeks


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Like the title says. I put in the paperwork for a permit over the weekend, will buy a gun when it goes through, drive up to a mountain somewhere secluded, and blow my head off. Yes I know it's a terrible sin, but God is only watching when I do something bad, waiting to punish me. When I try to do good, He doesn't care. The essence of being a Christian is that there's no relief to suffering, but you can suffer more and more; you never get better, only worse. So I've had enough of a life that just gets worse, never better. This God who is supposedly loving, supposedly only wants good things for me, somehow lets me continue to suffer, dangling a promise of a better life that never comes. Enough already, time to end it

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Hello W. 

I’m sorry life has been brutal to you. Can you tell me if you know where you will spend eternity?  Have you believed in Jesus?  Regardless of your actions, I want to tell you God does love you. 

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4 hours ago, Worthlessloser said:

Like the title says. I put in the paperwork for a permit over the weekend, will buy a gun when it goes through, drive up to a mountain somewhere secluded, and blow my head off. Yes I know it's a terrible sin, but God is only watching when I do something bad, waiting to punish me. When I try to do good, He doesn't care. The essence of being a Christian is that there's no relief to suffering, but you can suffer more and more; you never get better, only worse. So I've had enough of a life that just gets worse, never better. This God who is supposedly loving, supposedly only wants good things for me, somehow lets me continue to suffer, dangling a promise of a better life that never comes. Enough already, time to end it

I have no idea where you came up with those beliefs.  God is watching everything that goes on in this world.  He knows the number of hairs on your head.  He is not just watching for you to do bad to punish you and going around with no concern when you do good.  

Now, lets see if we can get a little more information about what is really troubling you.  What is going on that is making you suffer?  You say that life is only getting worse, not better.  Have you been doing anything to make things better or do you just keep doing the same old things and expecting them to get better and if they don't, blaming God for not caring?  

I am going to be brutally honest with you.  There are some Christians that believe that if you kill yourself and you are saved, you will go to heaven.  I am not one of them.  It will be a sin that you won't have an opportunity to confess, and with that sin stain on your spiritual garment, you will wind up in hell, which is much worse than anything you are experiencing here.  Yes, some believe in unconditional security, but a large portion of the Christian church does not.  Are you willing to take that chance?  I wouldn't.  I am not saying something I don't believe to scare you.  I honestly believe that even though I have been a Christian for 36 years, if I killed myself, I would spend eternity in hell.  

I would be happy to discuss what is going on in your life to see if I can help.  Others here at Worthy would be willing to do the same thing.  If you go into the chat room, I would imagine there are people there nearly all the time that would talk to you about your problems.  I personally think you need professional help, so I would advise you to check yourself into a mental facility so you can work on your issues, but I have a feeling you wouldn't take my advise.  Still, you did come here and tell us what you plan to do, so that to me is a cry for help.  Again, there are many here that care, and will be glad to talk to you.   You only have two posts, so I don't think you can use the pm feature, or I would suggest you pm me, but you can go into chat.  Please do that.  

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4 hours ago, Worthlessloser said:

I'm going to kill myself in 2 weeks

I also thought about doing that to my life before. But all have changed after I knew Jesus, it is a whole new life.

I am glad I did not do it. Thanks to God!

 

3 minutes ago, Butero said:

There are some Christians that believe that if you kill yourself and you are saved, you will go to heaven.

This statement is false. Love never fails.

"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." - 1 Corinthians 8:3

 

And if anyone loves God then it is completely impossible they will end their lives.

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
    And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith." - 1 John 5:4

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15 minutes ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I also thought about doing that to my life before. But all have changed after I knew Jesus, it is a whole new life.

I am glad I did not do it. Thanks to God!

 

This statement is false. Love never fails.

"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." - 1 Corinthians 8:3

 

And if anyone loves God then it is completely impossible they will end their lives.

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world.
    And this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith." - 1 John 5:4

It somewhat comes down to terminology.  Perhaps I should have said, if he thinks he is saved and kills himself, he will wind up in hell.  I agree that a true born again Christian would never choose suicide.  That would mean they were never really of God's elect, but the main thing I am saying is that suicide is not a quick ticket to heaven.  It means eternity in hell.  

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Don't think like that. If Jesus rose from the dead and he did then he can help you. You need knowledge of the truth. The truth sets you free. You are not free if you want to kill yourself. Only the son can set you free.  Suffering we all do. It's not the suffering that's so bad. It's not having God in your life that's really bad. If you have him he will see you through all trials. I'm fact the bible calls it the fellowship of our suffering. If we suffer with him we will also be glorified with him. Dont let the devil fool you. He will get you to think there no way out and no future. But it says nothing can separate us from the love of God.  You just need the love of God in your life. In Jesus we receive the love of God. Ask him to live in you. Also believe in his name. Know he lay down his life for you. All sins were laid upon him. Ask God to forgive all your sins. Then he will live in you. Suffering is in the world because of Adams fall. When Christ returns he makes all things new. And no more pain. And no suffering of any kind. So is it worth it to know him ? Yes a million times over.  Praying for you.  Take care of yourself friend. 

 

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Seek the counsel of a local pastor. You need to be near and talk to people right now, though it is hard. Do you regularly attend services, or have you been trying to go it alone in all your pain? Reach out to others! Praying for you!

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9 hours ago, Worthlessloser said:

Like the title says. I put in the paperwork for a permit over the weekend, will buy a gun when it goes through, drive up to a mountain somewhere secluded, and blow my head off. Yes I know it's a terrible sin, but God is only watching when I do something bad, waiting to punish me. When I try to do good, He doesn't care. The essence of being a Christian is that there's no relief to suffering, but you can suffer more and more; you never get better, only worse. So I've had enough of a life that just gets worse, never better. This God who is supposedly loving, supposedly only wants good things for me, somehow lets me continue to suffer, dangling a promise of a better life that never comes. Enough already, time to end it

Hi Worth,

You got the wrong Idea. God is not going to deliver you from your circumstances.
What he will do instead is renew your mind by taking away the torment
Then you will be able  think clearly enough to make the right
decisions that will change your circumstances.

____________
God bless

Ed J

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There is safety in the multitude of counselors.  When you are in a crisis situation, it clouds your judgment, so you need others to act as advisors.  If you let someone know what is going on, they may have solutions you never thought of.

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