Urgent Prayer Request
I’m finding it hard to sleep and I’m spiritually attacked every night. It’s extremely IMPORTANT that someone does spiritual warfare and prays for me. Pray that a grievous sexual spirit will leave the house that I’m living in and will flee from my dad too.... I WANT PEACE IN MY HOUSE AND SLEEP... Please pray for like a month.. it’s that important.... Thanks .... from Melissa from Melbourne Australia
I have this silly concern and constant worry about my decisions displeasing God. So many of my goals and things I want to do aren’t necessarily Christian based. I like doing things such as watching certain shows that have cussing and sexual content in them....but they are so entertaining....I’ve been told that even the little things I like to do, such as working out, is based on vanity. But I really just love working out because it makes me feel complete. I’m even a little afraid of getting in a relationship because of the fear of feeling something sinful such as lust or immoral thoughts. Back when I was younger, I didn’t mind these things much. But now, I’m at an age where I should know better. I don’t want to live this way anymore. I need to find an inner peace. God Bless.
I've wanted to post this for a while, but I struggled writing it since I didn't know how to effectively explain my situation. It's been hard for me to talk to anyone about this because I keep thinking no one would believe me or people would think I'm insane. Though I've been drowning in confusion, apathy, doubt, and hopelessness for the past few months, I've finally mustered up the courage to write this.
I was saved in 2005, fell away for a while, then rededicated my life to Christ at the end of December 2017. I was very excited about God and the Bible for the first three months of 2018, but then began dealing with spiritual oppression in April 2018. I spent my time trying to figure out how to get rid of the oppression, then I began hearing that “still small voice.” Since May 2018, I thought I was in communion with God, until in January 2019, I discovered there is a demon inside of me. It deceived me into thinking it was God, and it even had the audacity to also call itself “Holy Spirit,” “The Father,” and “Jesus.”
It spoke to me in my mind, flooding me with images, ideas, and thoughts. It answered prayers, such as if I asked where something was in my apartment, I suddenly received an image in my mind of the exact location. It was able to control my body parts: arms, legs, hands, feet, head, mouth, eyes, lungs, stomach, heart.
At times, it spoke out of me: received a “message from heaven” from my deceased Dad, taught me and my Mom tons of error teaching, and falsely prophesied the 2nd coming of Christ. Once my Mom discovered it was a demon, it spoke out and told her that I would never find Jesus, and I began convulsing when she took authority over it. That same night, it caused me to vomit two disgusting substances, changed the pitch of my voice to an unnaturally high and disgusting tone, and at a different time, I heard growling come from my throat.
While under its influence, it made me get rid of my video games, movies, and certain bits of clothing. It taught me scripture so it could use it against me. It convinced me to pray tons of false things, such as for Jesus to forget me. It deceived me into doing a 3-week water fast that put me in the hospital, nearly killing me. It convinced me I committed the unforgivable sin, that I was the Anti-Christ, constantly deceived me into thinking I would die in my sleep, and constantly condemned me to hell. It caused me to have constant nightmares of me being condemned to hell, one where I was involved in witchcraft, one where I supposedly received the mark of the beast and was separated from God forever, and one of Jesus Christ forever abandoning me.
I feel completely violated because not only did it rupture the relationship I thought I had with the real LORD, this thing helped me come up with book ideas, movie ideas, a future ministry, improved my drawing skills, and even helped me come up with names for my future kids, all under the guise of “God.” I've essentially given up writing and anything creative because I'm not confident whether the ideas truly come from me. As of now, I have a constant anxiety towards my hands moving on their own; sometimes as I'm falling asleep, either a few fingers start to move or one of my hands will violently shake for a few seconds. I can’t even pray without hearing a mental response from it. I’ve noticed strange physical abnormalities, such as my pupils dilating irregularly no matter how much light is present and an occasional putrid smell coming from my nose and mouth. I can’t effectively concentrate, constantly dealing with tons of confusing thoughts. I feel irritated / an aversion towards the Word, along with tons of accusatory thoughts about my salvation and how God is mad at me (which isn’t true). If I do manage to read the Bible, I get flooded with tons of doubtful thoughts about how I don't understand anything I read and how God's forgotten about me (which isn't true). This spirit has put me through so much hell, and I have no idea how I even accepted it to begin with.
I'm ashamed that I was able to be so terribly deceived. I can't even effectively follow Philippians 4:6 about praying if you are anxious because I'm anxious about praying because something else answers. I want to overcome the confusion, apathy, doubt, and hopelessness that all torment me on a daily basis. Where should I even begin with recovery? How do I recover from all the deception I've endured? How do I get past the constant irritation towards anything God related? Also, thank you for taking the time to read this. Even if you can't figure out a reply to this post, could you P L E A S E pray for me? I desperately want to be delivered of this.
By Emily Norris
As I said on my profile, I came to Christ at a young. But, as we all know, the initial approach is only a beginning. This seems like a good spot to share some of that growth. It's a bit of a long story. So, get a cup of tea, sit back, and relax.
Picture yourself with a massive jar of pennies. You want to know how much is in the jar and the only way to find out is by hand counting, one hundred pennies for every dollar. After a while your hands pick up the scent of the coins, a gross coppery smell. Now, picture that in your mouth. That's what blood tastes like.
When I was ten years old, I was playing with a jar of flour. I blew into it gently, visualizing it as fairy dust. My mouth filled with blood. I ran to the sink and began spitting it out. But it was gushing faster than I could spit. My sister saw the incident and ran for our mother. Thank God, she was a nurse and could contain the bleeding with thick wads of paper towel and pressure. She sat me down and said I needn't be afraid because Christ bled too. Once I calmed down we piled into the car and headed for the ER. But they could find nothing wrong and the bleeding had stopped. Though the evidence of it was all over my shirt. They sent us home.
Mom wasn't satisfied and who better to turn to than the creator of the human body? After some prayer, God told her to call my dentist. She explained what happened and they told her to bring me in if it happened again. A week later it did and we went to the dentist. Thank God, he referred us to an oral surgeon instead of making careless assumptions. The surgeon we saw was delighted because he had just put down the latest book on my condition that very day. Arterial Venus Malformation. I'll keep the explanation brief. It's an aneurism (an over sized blood vessel) in my right jaw. For over a decade after, we took six trips down to Boston and six hours back. Sometimes it was for surgery, other times it was just appointments for discussing procedures.
This was something I was born with and I knew the Lord had his reasons. But, I won't deny a hot vein of anger that surged. Why was I on this never ending carousel? Why was it this hard? What was this grander purpose behind my woes?
During one of my many times at Mass General hospital, we were in the waiting room when an older woman asked mom how the bedside cots were. It turns out, she and her daughter were seeing the same doctor for a similar issue. We were later placed in the same room. I was wearing an ice pack and felt the usual drowsiness. Yet, you can't imagine how hard it is to sleep on that hard mattress with the constant beeping of monitors. On top of that, you have a lovely nurse coming in every hour to say, "Can I check your vitals, honey?" Anyway, the older woman told her daughter that she was going down for coffee and the girl pleaded desperately, "No mom, please don't leave me alone." Instantly, my prayer was answered as I remembered a time when I was the one pleading for my mom not to go, even for just a minute. I felt moved to speak and called out to them on the other side of the curtain. "I know that this hard right now, but it'll be ok." I then told her about how the mouth is one of the spots in the body that heals fastest. Or something like that. Afterward, I sat back and just like the ripples on a lake, I could see a little of what my journey did for those around me. That girl was a little less scared. I remembered the doctor from Israel who thanked me for letting him examine my case and how helpful the information would be in his own country. There was one nurse who changed her entire career path based on my case. I remembered the cross made of popsicle sticks that I gave my doctor and how he said, "I could've used this three years ago."
Those were just the instances I knew about. What about all the others I didn't know about? How far did those ripples extend? What other shores did they touch? What would I lose if all of it had never happened?
I don't have all the answers, but I'm in touch with the one who does and, even when I don't comprehend, I can know that He is working. Some day, it'll be rolled out in full and I'll marvel at His wonders.
"Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live." Psalm 116:2