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SerenSunflower

Thoughts About Life, Death, and Spiritual Warfare

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So I have been thinking a lot about death with all these health issues. Truth is it could be anytime or a long ways off. Yes I am pretty ill, but I also know a guy who is still stubbornly living 20 years after a congestive heart failure diagnosis. He just freaking refuses to die. A lot can be said for the power of the human spirit.

My husband put it very well: you can't go before your time even if you want or try to. I met a guy in the hospital who had six attempts in six months and was alive, sitting at the table with us. I was impressed and told him flat out there was a reason he was alive and he had to find it. Later that hospitalization, he found out his GF was pregnant with his child. He was gonna be a daddy. I have never forgotten that.

You also can't prevent death when your number is up. When it is time to go, you go. And with very few exceptions, nobody knows when that is.

So what does this have to do with me? Between spiritual attacks from evil people, (no not even going to attempt to explain that)and serious health issues negatively impacted and perhaps even caused by the evil people, a whole bunch of forces are converging to end me. The Lord Jesus Christ conquers all, but I am uncertain what He will choose to do here. I do know I have a lot of work yet to do, and I am also certain He will leave me here until I have accomplished it. But how long that is, I don't know.

I think I struggle with this because I am in constant emotional pain, and this is connected to physical issues in that this stress makes them worse. Also I still, even after surrendering it to Jesus, struggle with suicidal thoughts. When the pain is really bad, I just want to quit and go to Heaven. But truth be told, I am near or at the peak of my usefulness to Him, so I need to stay and fulfill my destiny. 

I guess life for anyone is a battle. If I don't win mine, many people will be harmed, directly or indirectly. So I have to stay as long as He needs me to.

I choose to do this. I type this with tears in my eyes. I feel so inadequate for this. But the Lord says His power is made perfect in weakness.

So here we go. And if you also are struggling with suicidal thoughts, don't do it. OK? ❤

Love, Seren

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Hi .i couldnt read post because so  tired.(my last post for today:sleep2:.)But Praying for you just in case.take care Agape

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I wish to hug you Seren and let you know all  will be ok.
Father God, thank you Father God for Your Love, Mercy and Grace, I pray right now for my sister Seren, Father God, please i ask you to heal Seren's body, soul, mind, take away the pain Lord and fill her complete with you healing, I ask this  through the blood redeeming healing power of Your only begotten Son Christ . Amen Amen, Amen!

:emot-heartbeat:Big Hugs.:emot-heartbeat:

         :emot-heartbeat:

In Him Always

        1to3

 

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1 hour ago, shanee said:

Hi .i couldnt read post because so  tired.(my last post for today:sleep2:.)But Praying for you just in case.take care Agape

Thank you so much, Shanee. <3

25 minutes ago, 1to3 said:

I wish to hug you Seren and let you know all  will be ok.
Father God, thank you Father God for Your Love, Mercy and Grace, I pray right now for my sister Seren, Father God, please i ask you to heal Seren's body, soul, mind, take away the pain Lord and fill her complete with you healing, I ask this  through the blood redeeming healing power of Your only begotten Son Christ . Amen Amen, Amen!

:emot-heartbeat:Big Hugs.:emot-heartbeat:

         :emot-heartbeat:

In Him Always

        1to3

 

What a beautiful, thoughtful prayer. Very much appreciated. <3

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18 hours ago, SerenSunflower said:

Truth is it could be anytime or a long ways off.

I just posted this on another thread but here.

Luke chapter 18 verse 1

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.

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