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I am being pressured to pull the plug on my mother who I am the medical p.o.a for. She experienced cardiac arrest on Friday. The hospital right from the start laid guilt trips on me and they just aren't backing off. They keep saying that the machines are doing all of her bodily functions and what kind of future is that for her... 

I explained that I gave her my word that I'd fulfill her wishes by keeping her alive. I am torn between this promise I made to her and feeling I'd be snuffing out any chance of recovery vs my causing her unnecessary suffering through this unnatural life (of machines keeping her going) in the immediate short term period.

Any thoughts on this? And how God Himself may view it? Also, isn't it too soon to be turning her life support off? She just got their on Friday! Why all this rush? :confused:

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A lot of hospitals look at the age and think of the quality of life if they continue with treatment. ( My mum has refused any artificial means of prolonging her life and has a dnr in her living will and hard as it is we will follow her wishes should it come to it  ) I agree that a few days feels very short unless they have shown that she is already what is known as " brain dead " Perhaps it may help to get a second opinion if possible and talk to the doctors to see why they are saying this.

We often try to keep loved ones with us far beyond the time they have been called home as we will miss them so much  but  try to keep in mind this is not goodbye just " until we meet again "  and give yourself time to  think this through and to grieve for your own loss as even if she survives this it sounds as if she will not be the mum you remember 

Thinking of you and praying for you both 

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Thanks so much for your reply, ladypeartree. It makes a lot of sense. I guess part of the conflict within is that when she appointed me as her medical p.o.a., she trusted me with her very life. So now that I made such a serious commitment to her, I feel obligated to keep it. I don't want to feel I betrayed her. :(

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Well again along those lines a weighing of reality ... remain here in this sin soaked world or look into the face of Jesus who has loved her beyond all possible thought :) I know the one I would choose for myself :thumbsup: Prayed... Love, Steven

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The thing is, if she is brain dead and her body is being kept artificially alive, she is dead. I believe it is probably kinder to let her body go also. It's a gut wrenching decision. Prayers!

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2 minutes ago, enoob57 said:

Well again along those lines a weighing of reality ... remain here in this sin soaked world or look into the face of Jesus who has loved her beyond all possible thought :) I know the one I would choose for myself :thumbsup: Prayed... Love, Steven

Hi Steven. I agree.  She would surely be better off with Jesus. But could it not be a form of lying for me to go back on what I assured  her I'd do? Also, isn't that why people legally choose a p.o.a in the first place...in order to make certain that their end of life wishes are carried out? My mother loves life because she is a shining testimony for the Lord to many.

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If each of us were given the experience of both which do you suppose we would choose :)  I know the apostle Paul's

Phil 1:21-24
21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
22 But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.
23 For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
24 Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.
KJV
 
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9 hours ago, turtletwo said:

I am being pressured to pull the plug on my mother who I am the medical p.o.a for. She experienced cardiac arrest on Friday. The hospital right from the start laid guilt trips on me and they just aren't backing off. They keep saying that the machines are doing all of her bodily functions and what kind of future is that for her... 

I explained that I gave her my word that I'd fulfill her wishes by keeping her alive. I am torn between this promise I made to her and feeling I'd be snuffing out any chance of recovery vs my causing her unnecessary suffering through this unnatural life (of machines keeping her going) in the immediate short term period.

Any thoughts on this? And how God Himself may view it? Also, isn't it too soon to be turning her life support off? She just got their on Friday! Why all this rush? :confused:

If i was in your position i would ignore the hospitals efforts to gult trip you...  

You made a promise to your mother, If you dishonor it you will carry the burden of it for the rest of your life.. 

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16 hours ago, turtletwo said:

I am being pressured to pull the plug on my mother who I am the medical p.o.a for. She experienced cardiac arrest on Friday. The hospital right from the start laid guilt trips on me and they just aren't backing off. They keep saying that the machines are doing all of her bodily functions and what kind of future is that for her... 

I explained that I gave her my word that I'd fulfill her wishes by keeping her alive. I am torn between this promise I made to her and feeling I'd be snuffing out any chance of recovery vs my causing her unnecessary suffering through this unnatural life (of machines keeping her going) in the immediate short term period.

Any thoughts on this? And how God Himself may view it? Also, isn't it too soon to be turning her life support off? She just got their on Friday! Why all this rush? :confused:

 

The most important aspect of this is being convinced in your own mind that she is gone.  Ask the doctors why they believe as they do, and as lady suggested, get a second opinion as well and weigh their reasoning also.  If you are convinced that she is gone, you have nothing to feel guilty of, but YOU must be convinced of it.  Talk to other family members as well, get their opinions on it.  You have the final say, but their thoughts should be considered as well and may help bring you peace in your decision.

Praying for you, God bless

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Posted (edited)

I had to pray about how to reply to this; please forgive me for not replying sooner. In 2011, my mother had two heart attacks, with the second one depriving her brain of oxygen to the point that she no longer had higher brain functions. The doctors informed me of this and I had to make the decision on whether to take her off or not. The thing I had to consider was that the person she was had already departed; all that was left was her body, and she was already an amputee who was blind, had severe kidney failure due to diabetes and required hemodialysis several times a week, and could no longer go to the bathroom, feed or clothe herself on her own. She also suffered from seizures, and she was in a nursing care facility when she suffered the first heart attack (she suffered the second one in the hospital).

In the end, we decided to let her go peacefully. She suffered a third heart attack, and the Lord took her home.

When I went through this with my mom, I was concerned that it would be murder if I let her go off life support; but that said, the woman who loved and raised me was already gone. And in having POA (Power of Attorney) in a medical situation, your mom's well-being is indeed in your hands, but what must be considered is what the prognosis is realistically. I do not think that you would be betraying her if you let her go, because life is more than simply existing; we were created with souls and spirits.

I suggest that you take some time to pray on this matter and ask the Lord for guidance, and from there, simply do the best you can. Pray until you are sure how to proceed.

Praying for you both,

-Sojo414

Edited by Sojourner414
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    • By turtletwo
      I'm being pressured to pull the plug on my mother who had cardiac arrest on Friday. The hospital right from the start laid guilt trips on me and aren't backing off. They keep saying that the machines are doing all of her bodily functions and what kind of future is that for her. But I gave her my word that I'd keep her alive. I am torn between this promise to her and not wanting to snuff out any hope of recovery VS the immediate suffering of this unnatural life of machines. Any thoughts on this and how God Himself may view it? Also, isn't since only Friday too soon to just give up? 
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