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Our fellowship is with God and Jesus. We have his spirit in us and with at every second. Its,true at church you will not find good frirndships at a lot of them. Many people go there to belong to a club almost. But truth is that not right. We have to look to Jesus for our comfort. This world is passing away. In the new heaven and earth anyone thats there at that time will be a friend to everyone because we are the children of God and belong to each other in Gods house. No one will be in a click. Everyone one will be a servent of God and a servent of Jesus. Look forward to it !

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On 3/24/2018 at 7:03 AM, TechEnthusiast said:

I am single, have no car and its unlikely I will get married. Up until recently I have been incredibly socially awkward. The churches that I have been to don't seem to have anything real for singles. It seems like a place where people who are socially acceptable, have families, and have money go to congregate.Ā  You are told that you are accepted because you have Repented and trusted in Jesus.Ā  Ā  You are then left mostly alone and left to fend for yourself. You have to figure out how to find "YOUR PEOPLE". The thing is I thought that your local church was supposed to be your family. Often I feel very very lonely to the point of emotional and physical pain, but they have families and other responsibilities and we are somewhat spread out and I have no car. I feel very very neglected by the people I love and the church that I love(It has taken me a long time to find a church).Ā Ā It just seems like everyone wants a family, but the truth of the matter is that if you have a family you choose that because it will take most of your time. Do even the best Christians want their best life now and not even know it? In reality you get to have a true church family if you are good at being social, have money, have a car, and have a lot of things in common with the people who go to your church. Other than that you will be relegated to Sundays and Bible studies. won't leave out my friend who gives me a ride to work, but that is not the norm and before I got a job I lacked a job, car, social skills, any type of skills, I was left alone and no one felt at all responsible for the man who had not very much to offer.

This is one of the best, most accurate descriptions of the churches I've visited across the USA in the past couple decades.Ā  Ā It's both sad and true.

If one is looking for a way to find Christians that will be welcoming outside church, I've found volunteer groups to be better by far.Ā  Groups like Habitat for HumanityĀ and Americorps are filled with people actively trying to help others.Ā  They're volunteering their own time and in general money doesn't matter and isn't discussed.Ā  Volunteer events are a great filter of people since it's easy to get to know each other socially while doing the volunteer work.Ā Ā 

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On 3/24/2018 at 5:03 AM, TechEnthusiast said:

I am single, have no car and its unlikely I will get married. Up until recently I have been incredibly socially awkward. The churches that I have been to don't seem to have anything real for singles. It seems like a place where people who are socially acceptable, have families, and have money go to congregate.Ā  You are told that you are accepted because you have Repented and trusted in Jesus.Ā  Ā  You are then left mostly alone and left to fend for yourself. You have to figure out how to find "YOUR PEOPLE". The thing is I thought that your local church was supposed to be your family. Often I feel very very lonely to the point of emotional and physical pain, but they have families and other responsibilities and we are somewhat spread out and I have no car. I feel very very neglected by the people I love and the church that I love(It has taken me a long time to find a church).Ā Ā It just seems like everyone wants a family, but the truth of the matter is that if you have a family you choose that because it will take most of your time. Do even the best Christians want their best life now and not even know it? In reality you get to have a true church family if you are good at being social, have money, have a car, and have a lot of things in common with the people who go to your church. Other than that you will be relegated to Sundays and Bible studies. won't leave out my friend who gives me a ride to work, but that is not the norm and before I got a job I lacked a job, car, social skills, any type of skills, I was left alone and no one felt at all responsible for the man who had not very much to offer.

I've been broke, no car in an area where that is a serious limitation, dead end job, dead end life.Ā That's basically been my experience too. I'm not being sarcastic when I say welcome to church in the USA. I had a bad case of culture shock when I came back from Germany, where we had a real church community, to . . . something else here in the US.Ā It took around a year and a half to find my current church because I was looking for one where the Bible was still preached as God's Word. The church itself is small, too small for any "fill in the blank" ministry you'd like to name. We're also scattered all over a large area and so are limited to Sunday worshipĀ for the most part.

At most churches in my area, you're on your own if you're single. Yes, I said it. I've had some act like I was a threat. Years ago I had some folks ask me if I was gay because I was in my mid-30's and not married. So any fellowship or soul winning takes place outside the local church for me. I spend a lot of time in recovery groups because I'm also a homeless drug addict that Jesus cleaned up, and that's a great place to share Jesus as the Spirit leads. I haven't done it in awhile, but I also used to do some volunteering at the local rescue mission. Both of these are great "mission fields" right in my back yard - and most in recovery know they're messed up already but not root cause.Ā There's also the Salvation Army. They had a fellowship dinner thing going on every Friday not too far from my home, so I'd go there for some extra fellowship and networking. Check out some of the local churches, recovery groups, or homeless sheltersĀ in your area for some other ideas. The shelters usually have a good line on other programs in the area.

The no car thing sucked. There's no other way to say it, so I won't bother. I lost many job opportunities because I was stuck on the bus and either couldn't get there on time to start work - or couldn't get home due to getting off work after the last bus ran! Drove me nuts to the point where I was really starting to hate life in general. The recovery groups and volunteering helped me to stay grounded because they gave me chance to serve others, which is something the Lord has called us to, and it probably kept me from doing something stupid and getting in trouble.Ā I spent a lot of time on the bus and on my mountain bike even in the summer when it was over 100 degrees - one of the benefits of living in a desert.Ā  :)Ā 

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Hi Tech, hugs and prayers first and foremost....what I would like to humbly point out is your confession is all about what you don't have....as my signature states at the bottom Proverbs 18:21 Life and death are in the power of the tongue and they who love it will eat the fruit thereof.....this is pretty profound but it has so much truth to it....did you know your words have power? Did you know the Bible says the most powerful weapon ever formed is the tongue and the words of our mouth? Did you know that the Bible says whatsoever a man thinketh so is he/she....The Bible says to speak those things that are not as though they were....

My point is that we are bound by the very words we let come out of our mouth.....and the Bible speaks numerous times about putting a watchguard over our mouths and to speak LIFE ......I would start changing my words....stop speaking that you don't have and start speaking that your God supplies ALL your needs according to His riches in Glory.

Ā 

Well God Bless....much love to you in Christ.

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I had a few thoughts while reading this thread.

First, don't assume that money or cute children will buy your way into a social group at church. Jobs and families are symptoms of success, not the cause of success. Sure, some people take it too far, but the Bible doesn't say it's a sin to raise children. Let us not focus on the outward things that other people have.

Second, many of those people went through a similar time of difficulty. Don't assume they've always had money and children. For me personally, I spent most of my 20s working pointless jobs (sometimes two at a time) with no car. I remember the bus dumping me off a mile from home after dark every night. I'd walk through the woods alone, no one but Jesus to protect me. Many, many successful people could tell you similar stories. When you meet someone who appears be nothing like you, don't assume it's true.

Third, at the risk of sounding like a cheerleader, I must say I agree with @Heart2Soul. No matter what position you find yourself in, you always make it worse when you see yourself as a victim. Scripture tells us to guard our hearts and to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. We are told to do away with all malice. The Bible makes no exceptions -- no sort of hardship, persecution, distress, or isolation is a good enough reason to be negative, and it certainly isn't a good reason to stereotype other people.

I have witnessed in the livesĀ around me, over and over, that this attitude is the single biggest deciding factor on whether a person succeeds. It isn't just fluff when people tell you that.

Fourth and final... on the topic of the American church. We can sit here all day and talk about how bad the American church is. I agree with you. But it what it is, and God's grace can find ways around it.

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