Blue Lulu Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,271 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 2,289 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/19/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted April 4, 2018 So I’m cooking dinner, winging it. My husband said “when is dinner going to be done?” I said “I don’t know.” (I was roasting carrots and I really did not know how long it would take). He said “you don’t know how long it’s going to take”. Like I’m stupid or something. I get the same thing at work. My boss says “Well that’s got to go in the sale suits” (I’m a seamstress and she meant that it was not well made) Then no more then 5 seconds later she holds it up and says “Oh no, that looks pretty good” All of this sarcasm is giving me anxiety and I have started to make mistakes at work. When I told my husband how I felt he said he never said that. But it just happened, I can let it go as a misunderstanding but he has said that exact thing to me in the past. I was confident at work until she made that remark. How can I battle sarcasm and not be rude or jaded in return? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hidden In Him Posted April 4, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 449 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 423 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/21/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/16/1964 Share Posted April 4, 2018 51 minutes ago, Blue Lulu said: How can I battle sarcasm and not be rude or jaded in return? Pray that the Lord allows you to distance yourself a little from these situations. Even if he is your husband, and she is your boss, He will. But Satan wants you to feel trapped. Yet if you ask Him to reveal to you how, He will begin showing you things you can do; maybe it will be cooking some things where you know EXACTLY how long it is going to take, LoL. Maybe He will empower you to do things exactly the way she likes it done... But the reason why you want to create a little distance is to give yourself time to readjust your thinking. I've worked for some real jerks before myself (not saying that about your husband or your boss. Just saying), and the irritation was enough to potentially make me lose my job (or worse) if I acted on it. But by seeking the Lord and asking Him for His help when at home in my private time, He turned those situations around completely every time. He empowered me to treat them with forgiveness, kindness and respect, which in turn created changes in the way they treated me and viewed me. The principle is to overcome evil with good, and in some cases you may find out that they didn't even realize how much what they were doing was effecting you. But even if they do, show them the power of God operating in your life by praying to become empowered with His mercy, love and forgiveness. It will have its effect on them, so long as you keep praying for God to empower you (and not just praying for a "miracle" to happen in their lives or something, LoL). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lulu Posted April 5, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,271 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 2,289 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/19/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 5, 2018 1 hour ago, naominash said: I think it's okay to admit to yourself that words hurt you. If you try to be tough about it to yourself, it's harder to heal. And it's okay to be angry. Anger is a sin. Trust it to the Lord. Leave vengeance of any kind to the Lord, who sees everything and is just. Remember that the Lord forgave you, and He will give you what it takes to remain kind and good toward them. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayne Posted April 5, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,803 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,779 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted April 5, 2018 Blue Lulu, I have literal anxiety. I know what it's like to hear something said or say something yourself and then agonize over it for days and weeks or longer and play it over and over it your mind trying to make different. I have things that I've said and that other people have said that have bounced around in my head for years. Here's what I do, in part, to battle it. I remember that the person who said it, has long since moved on and 99% of the time had no malice in their hearts or no idea that the words may have been harsh. I have to remember that most people who heard the words that I have said that I wished I could take back - have more than likely forgotten them, moved on, or else forgiven me. Anxiety turns all words said to you and that you say to others into daggers of the heart and mind that pierce over and over. It's a horrible feeling. You second guess, third guess, and quadruple guess every single thing and word. The devil doesn't care what we are anxious over. He just wants us to BE anxiety ridden. It distracts us from our trust in God. Your husband and boss did not mean anything by cruel by what they said. Please think about treating these negative thoughts as instrusive thoughts and accepting the words of others as non-threatening. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Butero Posted April 5, 2018 Share Posted April 5, 2018 I don't know your husband, but I am a sarcastic person by nature. It is part of my personality. It is a battle to avoid using it sometimes, but it comes across to the other person worse than the way it was intended. I doubt your husband knows it is hurting your feelings. I doubt that is his intent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Lulu Posted April 5, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,271 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 2,289 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/19/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted April 5, 2018 I want to thank everyone for their replies. They have been very helpful to me! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Blue Lulu Posted April 13, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 77 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,271 Content Per Day: 0.56 Reputation: 2,289 Days Won: 1 Joined: 02/19/2018 Status: Offline Author Popular Post Share Posted April 13, 2018 On 4/4/2018 at 6:44 PM, Hidden In Him said: Pray that the Lord allows you to distance yourself a little from these situations. Even if he is your husband, and she is your boss, He will. But Satan wants you to feel trapped. Yet if you ask Him to reveal to you how, He will begin showing you things you can do; maybe it will be cooking some things where you know EXACTLY how long it is going to take, LoL. Maybe He will empower you to do things exactly the way she likes it done... But the reason why you want to create a little distance is to give yourself time to readjust your thinking. I've worked for some real jerks before myself (not saying that about your husband or your boss. Just saying), and the irritation was enough to potentially make me lose my job (or worse) if I acted on it. But by seeking the Lord and asking Him for His help when at home in my private time, He turned those situations around completely every time. He empowered me to treat them with forgiveness, kindness and respect, which in turn created changes in the way they treated me and viewed me. The principle is to overcome evil with good, and in some cases you may find out that they didn't even realize how much what they were doing was effecting you. But even if they do, show them the power of God operating in your life by praying to become empowered with His mercy, love and forgiveness. It will have its effect on them, so long as you keep praying for God to empower you (and not just praying for a "miracle" to happen in their lives or something, LoL). So I wanted to let you know how things were going. So I took what you said to heart and decided that the next time the ridicule and yelling happened at work I would show her mercy, kindness and forgiveness as the Lord has done for me. I almost smiled the next time it happened. I did not get angry, I felt somewhat at peace. I did want to say that when she yells something happens in my brain and I have a hard time thinking clearly for a moment. I hope this gets better with continued help from the Holy Spirit. 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hidden In Him Posted April 14, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 19 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 449 Content Per Day: 0.18 Reputation: 423 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/21/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/16/1964 Share Posted April 14, 2018 6 hours ago, Blue Lulu said: So I wanted to let you know how things were going. So I took what you said to heart and decided that the next time the ridicule and yelling happened at work I would show her mercy, kindness and forgiveness as the Lord has done for me. I almost smiled the next time it happened. I did not get angry, I felt somewhat at peace. Praise God, Lulu! This is what it is like to start getting some victory in the spiritual war we all face. I used to think only things like enduring persecution counted as spiritual victories, but the spiritual war is going on in all kinds of subtle ways all around us all the time, as Jayne was mentioning. Your reaction of staying at peace instead of getting into anxiety is the beginning of what James said about letting God perfect endurance within you (James 1:2-4). What that means is this: The command of God is to respond in peace like that every time, no matter what anyone says or does to you. It may feel like you have a long way to go, but success breeds success, so take time to be proud of yourself over this. You just showed the enemy he may be in trouble. Now what you need to do is meditate on similar situations happening in various ways, and how you would react. Envision yourself responding in peace consistently every time. That's sort of what you did this time in how you said "I took what you said to heart and decided that the next time..." Now don't get discouraged if you slip up and Satan manages to get under your skin again. He may try to ramp up the tests on you to break your will. Just think of yourself as a marathon runner who is building up endurance to handle all things (Hebrews 12:1-2). The more endurance you build up, the more you can handle the next time. Eventually, you'll come to the place where you can handle things you never though possible. Just keep praying for the Lord's empowerment, telling Him that you like how it feels to be victorious over anxiety, and asking him to perfect the good work that He has begun in you. Very proud of you, and you have reason to be proud of yourself. Keep at it. Eventually you will have stories to tell others Christians who are still where you are now about how it is done. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pg4Him Posted April 20, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 347 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 370 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/20/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted April 20, 2018 Unfortunately it's a very fine line, for both sides. I am a very sarcastic person. When I let my guard down and my personality shows, out comes sarcasm. It is never, never because I want to hurt people. But it's always taken that way. So I shut my mouth and don't show my personality. That seems to be the only way to prevent offense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart2Soul Posted April 20, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 9 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 186 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 166 Days Won: 2 Joined: 04/13/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted April 20, 2018 (edited) On 4/4/2018 at 5:38 PM, Blue Lulu said: So I’m cooking dinner, winging it. My husband said “when is dinner going to be done?” I said “I don’t know.” (I was roasting carrots and I really did not know how long it would take). He said “you don’t know how long it’s going to take”. Like I’m stupid or something. I get the same thing at work. My boss says “Well that’s got to go in the sale suits” (I’m a seamstress and she meant that it was not well made) Then no more then 5 seconds later she holds it up and says “Oh no, that looks pretty good” All of this sarcasm is giving me anxiety and I have started to make mistakes at work. When I told my husband how I felt he said he never said that. But it just happened, I can let it go as a misunderstanding but he has said that exact thing to me in the past. I was confident at work until she made that remark. How can I battle sarcasm and not be rude or jaded in return? I recently went through a lot of anxiety over stuff like this and one day God said I want to deliver you of that spirit of offense.....hmmmm....I shared this with a coworker and she shared her testimony about how she would be hurt and offended by others all the time until God took that away from her....she prayed with me and I haven't suffered anxiety anymore nor suffered hurt by others remarks insensitive remarks towards me....seeing things in a whole new perspective these days and I have great joy and peace over it. Edited April 20, 2018 by Heart2Soul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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