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What Should I Do?


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I am having a dilemma. My husband works out of town and comes home on the weekends. This is for the most part our only time together. My step daughter who is a grown adult with a child of her own is having issues dealing with life. She can't deal with her child's behavior and freaks out about stuff. A weekend ago my husband and I agreed to take her child for the weekend for a sleep over with my kid who is just one year older. It was chaos!:o   Two kids age 11 and 12 in an apartment making non-stop noise! Both of them have ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder.  I took them both to church on Sunday and spent most of the service keeping them in line so to speak. It is a lot for me to deal with. Well...just now, my husband asked me about letting her stay again for the weekend. I was not too happy about this and told him we need our time to together! We had her over last weekend I do not what to be doing this every weekend. Then when I asked what is the reason for taking her this weekend his answer was to give her mother a break. My thoughts on that are I am a stay at home mommy. And since my husband works out of town it is just me and my kid all week long. There is no one I can pass my kid off too if I need a break. I just have to deal with it all on my own! Yeah I am a bit angry about things.  Anyway, I want to be a Christian about all of this. But I am human as well. Would saying no to it be unChristian like?  :mellow:

 

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Why not offer to have the little one every other weekend or even a couple of nights during the week that way you get to help / keep your hubby happy /and get time with your small family 

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 It isn’t surprising that Daddy wants to help his little girl. Please pardon me if I am intruding, but may I ask if the stepdaughter thing plays a part in this? 

Edited by pg4Him
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Since both children have medical issues which are hard to deal with, maybe like LadyPearTree mentioned, just have her over a couple of times a month.   I would do it on the weekend since your husband can then help.   He should help anyhow....

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I would also only have the child over when your husband is home on the weekend to help.  Every second weekend would be good as that way you are helping out but you are also having a weekend where you get your family time too.

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It is Saturday and she is her once again. I sat my husband down and told him I am not doing this every weekend. He says he understands. I asked how this came about if it was his ideal. He said that his daughter called him and ask. I told him she is going to be calling every weekend wanting us to do this. He assure me that wont be happening.  We also had to take the poor girl shopping since her mother did not send her with any clothes or anything.  I wasn't too please about that. Yeah we are going to have some serious talks going on about this situation very soon. Anyway, thanks for your feedback. It help me getting my thoughts out on this. 

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Praying for you and all your family ...it is never easy to be the wicked stepmum ( I know I have been there ) as no matter how much or how little you do it is never right Try to talk to your husband when neither of you is stressed or in a bad mood  and we are here if you need somewhere to "vent " xxxxxx

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On 4/19/2018 at 11:28 AM, LadyKay said:

...Would saying no to it be unChristian like?  :mellow:

 

Not at all.  Saying no sounds like the best thing to do to preserve the health of your family.

As an alternative, you could mention you need a break on the weekend.  You could go away Friday night, stay in a hotel somewhere, and return Sunday.  Visit relatives, go shopping, or just relax.  Your husband would be welcome to take care of either one or both kids during that time.  I'd personally see nothing wrong with that approach as well. 

Staying at home taking care of children is a 24x7 job without any time off.  Working at a job 8 to 10 hours a day?  Much easier.

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On 4/21/2018 at 5:15 AM, LadyKay said:

It is Saturday and she is her once again. I sat my husband down and told him I am not doing this every weekend. He says he understands. I asked how this came about if it was his ideal. He said that his daughter called him and ask. I told him she is going to be calling every weekend wanting us to do this. He assure me that wont be happening.  We also had to take the poor girl shopping since her mother did not send her with any clothes or anything.  I wasn't too please about that. Yeah we are going to have some serious talks going on about this situation very soon. Anyway, thanks for your feedback. It help me getting my thoughts out on this. 

I don't know how you feel about this but my cousin used to buy her child clothes at the thrift shop, since kids grow so fast.

You can actually find some really nice stuff at thrift shops.   I enjoy them and some of my clothes comes from thrift shops.  I only buy what looks new.  Also, I go to one sometimes near Beverly Hills...so very nice stuff.

You could go and buy some stuff that would fit the girl, and have it on hand since she might show up with no clothes again.

Also, glad you are talking with hubby about this....

Edited by Debp
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