By Jonathan BeWell
Open Letter to Rock Bottom
Dear Down in the Dumps,
You are not in a nice place to visit or indefinitely live. I know, I have been there too many times. Since then I have burned my passport and remain grounded, gladly. The local authorities and citizens do not understand my alien presence. They cannot keep this message out. I will explain later. You will not complain sooner. Listen, look and warm yourself up to light versus darkness. Defect from that infected wasteland. Walk this way for freedom!
Before I believed in anything worth mentioning, I desperately decided to buy into "Allen Carr's 'Easy Way to Stop Smoking.'" Heck, he wrote I could even smoke as I read the book! I took a leap of faith out the hole of butts and ash. I actually enjoyed and laughed at old cues to spark a dart. Nic fits were only a fading memory of how and what I used to be like. I had been deprogrammed from doom and reprogrammed for life. Thank goodness, because all drags from cigarettes had become depressing slave wage reminders of death. I could not prove or understand it but I believed it had worked, setting me free. I see that now was a good sign, open door and ray of hope. Major problems had potential solutions. I believed things could be better.
Before I met and surrendered to Jesus Christ, I waged war with myself and the world. I abused my being with alcohol, marijuana and drug experimentation. I sat much of my life in front of a screen playing questionable games. I cheated on God, my future wife and myself with pornography and masturbation. I was living the bad dream of a wicked party scene. My heart had holes, my mind was free for the taking, my body was in ruin and my soul was lost and bound. Mental health issues coincided with the start of all of the above. By my fourth psychiatric ward stay I actually enjoyed doing my time and running the show. Pride, lust, anger, gluttony and slothfulness as deadly sins were aiming to win. It was either end up a casualty of spiritual warfare or be saved by divine intervention. Enter my Saviour, Lord, teacher and protector.
I read the Bible out of curiousity. I thought I should for its major influence on the world and world view. Believing and in it does not change that in any case. Tragedy struck when my parents' dog died in my arms. What I was doing with my life and would come after hit me hard. God had spoken, my deaf ears had been opened. I quit pot on the spot. I mourned Baloo's death and a life I was not getting. I compensated by binge drinking. I started getting drunk in the morning. I was listening to Harvesters FM, a Christian radio station constantly. They suggested AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. I went and got on the sober wagon. Gaming got the boot. Pornography and masturbation were confessed, apologized for, repented from and rebuked. All of the above related to asking Jesus Christ into my heart and life through a simple, sincere to the point prayer. The Bible was now more than history and what Christianity was based on. It was God's word speaking to me, changing my life for His pure glory, perfect plan and purpose. Not the story of my life, but Jesus Christ's death for the church as his wife. It is thee book that's truth never changes as always relevant. Now I am part of the book of life, hallelujah!
Not the end,
Gregory Keith Jonathan Brumwell 2018
Testimony Saved by Jesus Christ as of December 18, 2016, GKJB-1973
11 Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony.
- John 3:11 New International Version (NIV)
31 “If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true.
- John 5:31 New International Version (NIV)
7 He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe.
- John 1:7 New International Version (NIV)
Genesis 48:18-19 says, Joseph said to him, "No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head," but his father refused and said, “I know, my son, I know. He too will become a people, and he too will become great. Nevertheless, his younger brother will be greater than he, and his descendants will become a group of nations.” I find it interesting that Jacob/Israel blessed Joseph's 2nd born (Ephraim,) over his 1st born (Mannasseh.) It kind of repeated what had happened with Jacob himself, only he stole the blessing from his older brother, Essau , by deceiving his father, Isaac. There's obviously a reason that God put this in here and allowed this to happen that way. In tradition, the 1st born always received the blessing, inheritance, and a place of respect which made them privileged. Deuteronomy 21:17 says, But he shall acknowledge the firstborn, the son of the unloved, by giving him a double portion of all that he has, for he is the beginning of strength; to him belongs the right of the firstborn. I wonder if God saw that as an area of pride, and decided to humble mankind, even His people. It was definitely God that allowed the order to be reversed because He's in control of all things, and nothing happens without Him allowing it. Any thoughts on this?
So many broken hearts walking
Down the Boulevard of forgotten Dreams,
The homeless search for food to eat
While God is humbling the meek,
No wonder God's heart cries for Justice
Where doctors and witches pursue wickedness....
Lord, while we yell and throw our fists in the sky in demand,
Asking you "Why are you not doing anything about this?"
While the eyes of the unbelievers are always upon us...
Broken Daughters and Sons
Thirst for Revival as we slam doors
At those who love us more than our own
Help us not to grieve the Holy Spirit-
If cobwebs and antidepressants clog our rooms,
What air is there left to breathe?