I have deep feelings for someone I shouldn't

[DaughterOfAKing]

I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

A little under two years ago, I started talking to a colleague at work. At first, I was just simply attracted to his appearance but the more we started talking, the more my feelings developed. He comes from a Catholic background, he goes clubbing, drinks and he smokes marijuana. I can always resist the temptation to go clubbing (or pubbing should I say) but when I have been invited and I know he'll be there, I'll instantly agree to tag along. I left my job, the autumn of last year, he attended my leaving do and we were inseparable for the night, outside in the smoking area (I don't smoke by the way), next to each other in photos and on the dancefloor. 

I secured and left three positions after this job in question but I ended up returning to this same company office, a little over a week ago. The only difference is, I am now working in another department. My main problem is, I cannot stop thinking about him, he is constantly on my mind. I'm a little confused, I understand that God has a reason for everything he does but I don't understand why/how I ended back at the same company for my crush to resume. 

I understand that we must not be unequally yoked, in my mind as I am sure some believers have been in my position, I'm hopeful that he his relationship with God will blossom. I'm about 75% sure that the feeling is mutual (maybe not to my extent but there is some certainty he may feel the same way) I have prayed on it but what else should I do?

[DaughterOfAKing]

@Davida Thank you very much for your input, my Pastor has indeed said something similar in regards to open doors, I will continue to pray on it, thank you again and God bless you  

[BK1110]

Pray for this man to find God and sincerely repent, and pray that God will lead you to the man that He wants for you.

[brujaq]

19 hours ago, DaughterOfAKing said:

I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

A little under two years ago, I started talking to a colleague at work. At first, I was just simply attracted to his appearance but the more we started talking, the more my feelings developed. He comes from a Catholic background, he goes clubbing, drinks and he smokes marijuana. I can always resist the temptation to go clubbing (or pubbing should I say) but when I have been invited and I know he'll be there, I'll instantly agree to tag along. I left my job, the autumn of last year, he attended my leaving do and we were inseparable for the night, outside in the smoking area (I don't smoke by the way), next to each other in photos and on the dancefloor. 

I secured and left three positions after this job in question but I ended up returning to this same company office, a little over a week ago. The only difference is, I am now working in another department. My main problem is, I cannot stop thinking about him, he is constantly on my mind. I'm a little confused, I understand that God has a reason for everything he does but I don't understand why/how I ended back at the same company for my crush to resume. 

I understand that we must not be unequally yoked, in my mind as I am sure some believers have been in my position, I'm hopeful that he his relationship with God will blossom. I'm about 75% sure that the feeling is mutual (maybe not to my extent but there is some certainty he may feel the same way) I have prayed on it but what else should I do?

I can't pretend to council you Sis, but basic advice would be to be patient, pray you could get him to a church service and protect him there , in other words , prepare him what to expect .. Show both your strength and humbleness in the Lord without intimidating or fear but ease, My prayer is you receive your hearts desire from our Lord Jesus .. Pray for accomplishment and a genuine good clean time what ever you do as you shine your light, Amen, and wait on the Lord

[1to3]

18 hours ago, Davida said:

Sounds like you have a crush and a physical attraction for this guy & you can stop it if you want to, but people tend to not apply the will power to stay away or reject what is not in their best interest.  The choice is falling for someone who you have at this moment a strong physical attraction for & perhaps this will make you miss the man who GOD has for you....is that worth the thrill of the moment?  

My Pastor gave me some some food for thought that I keep in mind when situations seem to manifest. He said remember, GOD isn't the only one who opens doors , Satan can open doors too. Satan can also send people into your life to cause you temptation, distraction or even ruin. The warning about being unevenly yoked is to save us heart-break & major difficulties.  You need to sincerely pray and first really decide if you are willing to obey God and go the direction HE wants for you or the direction of your carnal flesh.  The devil knows our weaknesses.  Think about what the Bible says describing a husband that loves you like Christ loves the Church - wouldn't you prefer to have that? Someone who loves you with a Christ-like sacrificial love?  or you could fall for a good time & feelings of infatuation , jump into a relationship impetuously & have regrets.    

 

38 minutes ago, Davida said:

Really, really bad idea to begin a relationship thinking you can change someone, plus lead them to salvation.  

 

I must say this is spot on advice,that Davida is giving you, I pray you adhere to her wise  advice DaughterOfAKing it could save you from a lot of pain and lost opportunities that God had for you had, had you obeyed Him and not followed your lusts that have no place with Him and His Word and what is truly good for you and your future.

Satan can really play havoc in your life by you following your lusts.

I would stay far away from the temptation as possible and pray to God to help you be faithful to Him and To His Word over being tempted by something that will only bring you a lot pain and regret and wasted time, that if you survive the damages from that union you will then have to rebuild yourself from the damages and what a long road back to your right position with God it will be. And in the process it may cost you to have found a real good man with whom you could have build a real family with. Please be smart and use Gods wisdom over your own.

 

"I'm about 75% sure that the feeling is mutual (maybe not to my extent but there is some certainty he may feel the same way)"  that is another red flag. Its never works out when a women has more feelings for the man than the man has for the women. Your situation is not going to work out.  Its far better for a man to be interested in you and to pursue you than you pursuing him. He has nothing to work for, you seem to just want to hand  everything over to him on a ready to serve plate. Bad idea. it never works out well when a woman does that , he will definitely have no respect for you, perhaps take advantage of you, but will have no respect for you and you will be eventually be bitterly gobbled up by your own lusts with nothing more to show for it , then perhaps an unwanted STD. while he goes to another more interesting prospect.

Edited June 17, 2018 by 1to3

[DaughterOfAKing]

1 hour ago, BK1110 said:

Pray for this man to find God and sincerely repent, and pray that God will lead you to the man that He wants for you.

Thank you, I shall ?God bless you

[DaughterOfAKing]

53 minutes ago, brujaq said:

I can't pretend to council you Sis, but basic advice would be to be patient, pray you could get him to a church service and protect him there , in other words , prepare him what to expect .. Show both your strength and humbleness in the Lord without intimidating or fear but ease, My prayer is you receive your hearts desire from our Lord Jesus .. Pray for accomplishment and a genuine good clean time what ever you do as you shine your light, Amen, and wait on the Lord

Thank you very much, I shall pray those prayer points as well as the prayer points mentioned by the other members in the thread, God bless you 

[DaughterOfAKing]

51 minutes ago, Davida said:

Really, really bad idea to begin a relationship thinking you can change someone, plus lead them to salvation. 

I agree, that's something a friend of mine always says. She's said it about a past love interest also, "you can change him!" In case you're wondering, yes she's a Christian but doesn't practice as much as she should. Every time I hear her say the words, "you can change him," I momentarily agree but I know that it's only God that can truly lead someone to salvation, even they're lead to salvation through God's people. Hope I have made sense in what I said, I feel like I haven't lol.

[DaughterOfAKing]

43 minutes ago, 1to3 said:

 

 

I must say this is spot on advice,that Davida is giving you, I pray you adhere to her wise  advice DaughterOfAKing it could save you from a lot of pain and lost opportunities that God had for you had, had you obeyed Him and not followed your lusts that have no place with Him and His Word and what is truly good for you and your future.

Satan can really play havoc in your life by you following your lusts.

 I would stay far away from the temptation as possible and pray to God to help you be faithful to Him and To His Word over being tempted by something that will only bring you a lot pain and regret and wasted time, that if you survive the damages from that union you will then have to rebuild yourself from the damages and what a long road back to your right position with God it will be. And in the process it may cost you to have found a real good man with whom you could have build a real family with. Please be smart and use Gods wisdom over your own.

 

"I'm about 75% sure that the feeling is mutual (maybe not to my extent but there is some certainty he may feel the same way)"  that is another red flag. Its never works out when a women has more feelings for the man than the man has for the women. Your situation is not going to work out.  Its far better for a man to be interested in you and to pursue you than you pursuing him. He has nothing to work for, you seem to just want to hand  everything over to him on a ready to serve plate. Bad idea. it never works out well when a woman does that , he will definitely have no respect for you, perhaps take advantage of you, but will have no respect for you and you will be eventually be bitterly gobbled up by your own lusts with nothing more to show for it , then perhaps an unwanted STD. while he goes to another more interesting prospect.

8

8

I'm very glad I decided to write this post as everyone who has contributed has provided me with solid counsel and honestly, I'm grateful to God for you all and the time you've taken out to advise me. I have meditated on it and decided that I will do as you advised and stay clear of him and just keep him in prayer as it's the best way to go about things. I feel the need to add though:

"Then perhaps an unwanted STD" that would never happen, I have been celibate for 7.5 years and there is no trap devious enough and no man tempting enough to make me go back to day one. 

However, everything else mentioned is spot on, I am chasing after something that could potentially do a lot of emotional and spiritual damage, I blame society lol but I'll lean more on the Holy Spirit.

Thank you very much and thank you for your prayers ❤️  God bless you

 

 

Edited June 17, 2018 by DaughterOfAKing

[Billiards Ball]

On 6/16/2018 at 9:18 PM, DaughterOfAKing said:

I'll try to make this as brief as possible.

A little under two years ago, I started talking to a colleague at work. At first, I was just simply attracted to his appearance but the more we started talking, the more my feelings developed. He comes from a Catholic background, he goes clubbing, drinks and he smokes marijuana. I can always resist the temptation to go clubbing (or pubbing should I say) but when I have been invited and I know he'll be there, I'll instantly agree to tag along. I left my job, the autumn of last year, he attended my leaving do and we were inseparable for the night, outside in the smoking area (I don't smoke by the way), next to each other in photos and on the dancefloor. 

I secured and left three positions after this job in question but I ended up returning to this same company office, a little over a week ago. The only difference is, I am now working in another department. My main problem is, I cannot stop thinking about him, he is constantly on my mind. I'm a little confused, I understand that God has a reason for everything he does but I don't understand why/how I ended back at the same company for my crush to resume. 

I understand that we must not be unequally yoked, in my mind as I am sure some believers have been in my position, I'm hopeful that he his relationship with God will blossom. I'm about 75% sure that the feeling is mutual (maybe not to my extent but there is some certainty he may feel the same way) I have prayed on it but what else should I do?

It's not just mutual feelings or unequal yoking here. If he was a Christian, born again, I'd say, "Bad company corrupts good morals, why date a drinker who goes clubbing and smokes pot?" Even if this fellow was saved, he's need to be more mature to date my daughter...