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How to believe in god again?


jello5

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On 6/20/2018 at 7:24 AM, jello5 said:

I come here genuinely seeking instructions. I used to believe in God, and the idea of hell scared the **** out of me. I lived in constant (overwhelming) anxiety due to the fear of not being a good enough Christian and going to hell. I thought there was no way there was NO god, but I did fear I may be worshipping the wrong one. So I started looking at other religions; talking to people of different faiths, reading, watching debates, etc. Once I started watching debates, I began watching debates that involved atheists. My mind was blown by how much sense they made to me, and they seemed to be the only people who could intellectually take down people of non-Christian faiths, but then later started watching them debate Christians. I hated the fact that they made sense because I felt that even though they made sense God was still there and was going to punish me if it made too much sense. But eventually, after hearing enough arguments I had never heard before, learning more about evolution that I never knew, and taking a step back and realizing that I fundamentally disagree with many of the morals preached in the Bible, that I was gonna drop it entirely. I was fine for a while. I never, and still don't, have a "Jesus shaped hole" in my heart. But, unfortunately, society at large (especially in America) REALLY doesn't like atheists. When I used to go to church they acted as if they were synonymous with demons. I, along with everyone around me, thought similarly at the time. I figured anybody who didn't believe in God was evil, or at the very least far morally inferior to an average Christian. Well, my morals haven't changed one bit. I'm still just as nice, polite, and well-intentioned as I was before. So are all of the non-believers I've ever met.  It now seems as though it never really shaped my morals... I just thought it did. Still, Christians hate atheists. Most Americans are Christians. I'm pretty much an outcast to everyone who knows and actually cares. It really only started to bother me because this is now true among my family and with a girl I've fallen in love with. After one big debate on Christmas break with my WHOLE family that my mother triggered, everyone in my family knows and everyone acts weird around me. The girl I love told me she loves me, but she can't be with someone who isn't following Christ. We still talk every day because our feelings are so strong for each other but she thinks that she's not supposed to be with me even though she loves every single other thing about me. 

I want to believe. I really do. Seriously. But, I don't want it to give me anxiety that's so hardcore that I have constant panic attacks. AND, I've dug so deep into the "God vs No God" debates that I feel like I've heard pretty much every argument from both sides because I haven't found a new one from either side in sooooooo long and it's just super repetitive at this point. To me, it seems as though atheists won the argument.

Is there somebody who has some unique take, or can tell me something I probably don't know, or ANYTHING at all that could convince me that God is real again? I'm not trying to "debate" and show you how smart I am. I genuinely want somebody to change my mind and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have this conversation a lot, and depending on who I'm having it with I'll pretty much say"please convince me" and whenever I ask a question that's too hard I'll either get "God works in mysterious ways" or "You just have to have faith." BS. Please, somebody, have a conversation with me like a human being and don't get all robotic trying to show off how pious you are and don't dodge any questions. Don't ask me if I've, "talked to God about it." I've tried. A lot. Even after I've proclaimed nonbelief. I'm sick of people leaving my life over this. Even if you can't convince me that God is real, can somebody please convince me that he's good so I can maybe fake it till I make it at some point. Please.

God is revealed to those who sincerely and really need Him. No science. no logic is leading to Him by themselves. You got to be like a child with open heart to receive Him. If you are critical and want scientific proof God will see you as a self-sufficient and proud person and will not be revealed to you. I give to you this very lame but analogy. You know that kids learn foreign languages much faster than grownups. Why? Grownups have better memories and can easily classify linguistic things. What do grownups lack? They lack trust. They are too critical and all the new foreign forms come to them passing a very thin "do I really need it and why do I need it" filter. This filter is not felt by the person but it exists in most grownups.

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On 6/20/2018 at 12:24 AM, jello5 said:

I come here genuinely seeking instructions. I used to believe in God, and the idea of hell scared the **** out of me. I lived in constant (overwhelming) anxiety due to the fear of not being a good enough Christian and going to hell. I thought there was no way there was NO god, but I did fear I may be worshipping the wrong one. So I started looking at other religions; talking to people of different faiths, reading, watching debates, etc. Once I started watching debates, I began watching debates that involved atheists. My mind was blown by how much sense they made to me, and they seemed to be the only people who could intellectually take down people of non-Christian faiths, but then later started watching them debate Christians. I hated the fact that they made sense because I felt that even though they made sense God was still there and was going to punish me if it made too much sense. But eventually, after hearing enough arguments I had never heard before, learning more about evolution that I never knew, and taking a step back and realizing that I fundamentally disagree with many of the morals preached in the Bible, that I was gonna drop it entirely. I was fine for a while. I never, and still don't, have a "Jesus shaped hole" in my heart. But, unfortunately, society at large (especially in America) REALLY doesn't like atheists. When I used to go to church they acted as if they were synonymous with demons. I, along with everyone around me, thought similarly at the time. I figured anybody who didn't believe in God was evil, or at the very least far morally inferior to an average Christian. Well, my morals haven't changed one bit. I'm still just as nice, polite, and well-intentioned as I was before. So are all of the non-believers I've ever met.  It now seems as though it never really shaped my morals... I just thought it did. Still, Christians hate atheists. Most Americans are Christians. I'm pretty much an outcast to everyone who knows and actually cares. It really only started to bother me because this is now true among my family and with a girl I've fallen in love with. After one big debate on Christmas break with my WHOLE family that my mother triggered, everyone in my family knows and everyone acts weird around me. The girl I love told me she loves me, but she can't be with someone who isn't following Christ. We still talk every day because our feelings are so strong for each other but she thinks that she's not supposed to be with me even though she loves every single other thing about me. 

I want to believe. I really do. Seriously. But, I don't want it to give me anxiety that's so hardcore that I have constant panic attacks. AND, I've dug so deep into the "God vs No God" debates that I feel like I've heard pretty much every argument from both sides because I haven't found a new one from either side in sooooooo long and it's just super repetitive at this point. To me, it seems as though atheists won the argument.

Is there somebody who has some unique take, or can tell me something I probably don't know, or ANYTHING at all that could convince me that God is real again? I'm not trying to "debate" and show you how smart I am. I genuinely want somebody to change my mind and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have this conversation a lot, and depending on who I'm having it with I'll pretty much say"please convince me" and whenever I ask a question that's too hard I'll either get "God works in mysterious ways" or "You just have to have faith." BS. Please, somebody, have a conversation with me like a human being and don't get all robotic trying to show off how pious you are and don't dodge any questions. Don't ask me if I've, "talked to God about it." I've tried. A lot. Even after I've proclaimed nonbelief. I'm sick of people leaving my life over this. Even if you can't convince me that God is real, can somebody please convince me that he's good so I can maybe fake it till I make it at some point. Please.

Peace be to you, Jello5, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.  I once met a man who said the same things you are saying:  I used to go to church, I used to believe in God but now I don't, etc...  With respect, I think you never put your faith in Jesus Christ, got lead into believing you did, and are being tormented with the thought of never being able to get back into the relationship with God you thought you had.  Take heart, the Lord hears your prayers, and he is moving on your behalf.

Concerning the hatred of Christians toward atheists, genuine hatred, it may be because they have never been properly trained on how to handle persons of different beliefs.  This was certainly true with me.  I was taken to church, expected to hear the preacher, believe on the Lord Jesus, and all my problems would be solved.  Problem is, my father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.. never took the time to talk about the things of God with me.  When I was a little boy, I watched pornography with my dad, one of his sisters, and her husband.  I was never taught that sexual intercourse before marriage was a bad thing.  I was never told "Don't pray to Satan" (which thing I've done).  Many other things I was never told, most of the wisdom I have in the Scriptures I have had to get it on my own (with the obvious help of the Holy Ghost).  Concerning your girlfriend, the love you have for one another is not an evil thing, far from it.  But the Scriptures do say that believers and unbelievers should not marry because it would damage the believer's faith.  This may be why she won't be with you, even though she still does.

Concerning morals, I have known unbelievers to be more righteous than many Christians.  Concerning atheists, it seems to me that they do not want the accountability that comes with believing in God.  They, like many people including Christians, like to think that they are the God of their own world.  It is true to a great degree that we control our eternal outcome.  When God created us he gave us authority over our own lives, to do with them as we please.  What went wrong in the garden of Eden was that we decided we wanted to be Gods just like the LORD.

Another reason why most people don't like believing in God is because they think all God does is tell them what to do or he will cast them into Hell.  This is not true.  Three things we all need to understand -- 1) True:  God tells us what to do and think; 2) True:  God tells us why we should think it; 3) True:  God tells us that the choice of whether or not to obey his is ours.  In his love for us, he told us that some actions are good, that some actions are bad, and there are consequences to our actions (results of our actions, if you prefer).  That people should die and go to Heaven or Hell is the result of the choices that we make.

God loves you.  He does not want to see you end up in Hell.  It would break his heart.  Perhaps after reading this, you will believe in the God of the Bible and give his a chance by believing on the only Lord God that bought you (the Lord Jesus took God's wrath for you if you will receive it).  Jesus Christ paid the price for your sins and is waiting to receive you as his own (you become his brother should you believe on him unto salvation).  It won't be easy all the time and there are a lot of fakes in the churches, including some big name fakes, but it is worth it.  If you believe on him, the Lord Jesus said that he would never leave you nor forsake you.  This means that when you are going through hard times, he is going through them with you.  When you go through heartache, his heart aches with yours.  Whatever you do, DO NOT BELIEVE ON THE LORD JESUS CHRIST SO THAT YOU CAN GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND!  You would only heap damnation upon yourself.  This is one time he will not honor your decision to follow him.

Your friend, Marshall.

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