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Wife fell out of love

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It has been a series of miracles @Heybro and they just keep coming. We're still not out of the woods, but things are going really well. We're back at counseling, this time with a proper christian counselor. My wife has been picking up devotionals and christian books while she works on self-improvement. She also booked a romantic vacation for us and we've been cuddling a little and some smooching. I'm still being really patient and understanding and finding joy in the trial. Thank you for all the support! Let this be a testimony for those that have lost hope in prayer or need a real example of the playbook that gets us close to Jesus.

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Hi, welcome to Worthy, I've read the first couple of pages, but not all 6, so I don't know if this has already been said, if so please take it as encouragement, ...ALL fights in Christian marriages is a Lordship problem, ...Jesus is not the Lord of the marriage, also we must realize we battle not with flesh and blood, but against spiritual powers in high places, because Jesus is not the Lord in the marriage the enemy can use that against us to "energize" our flesh/carnal nature to disrupt the marriage.

First thing, you have already started to repair your relationship with Father, that's good, we must have our vertical relationship with God correct before He will repair the horizontal relationship with your wife. 

Second, love your wife as Christ loves His Church, STOP fighting, love her instead, if/since your love is weak or dead then tell Father that, tell Him you are weak and can't do it in your own power and ask Him to exhibit His Agape love for your bride through you.

Third, "the just live by faith," in faith you must believe Father wants this marriage to work to exhibit to the lost around you the love relationship between the Father and Son, ..because of that Truth divorce must be off of the table, He has written, "I hate divorce!"

As much as God hates divorce, the devil hates marriage, realize that, ...it's NOT between you and her, ...may I humbly suggest you search out many or all of the the verses in the Word about what the husband's responsibilities are in marriage, Nave's Topical dictionary is a good source, you can use it online,  memorize those verses and ask the Holy Spirit to live them out through you every time your flesh wants to rear it's ugly head and respond cruelty or abusively, or in any non-Christian manner, ...walk in the Spirit, we know we are not walking in the Spirit when we can read the acts of the flesh in Gal 5:19-21 and find ourselves doing them, confess them, repent and continue to walk in the Spirit  ....that's all part of restoring our vertical relationship with God.  

One last thing my brother, the opposite of love is apathy, indifference, ...not hate, fights or differences.

You and your bride will be in my prayers.

Lord bless you and keep you

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2 hours ago, onedirection said:

It has been a series of miracles @Heybro and they just keep coming. We're still not out of the woods, but things are going really well. We're back at counseling, this time with a proper christian counselor. My wife has been picking up devotionals and christian books while she works on self-improvement. She also booked a romantic vacation for us and we've been cuddling a little and some smooching. I'm still being really patient and understanding and finding joy in the trial. Thank you for all the support! Let this be a testimony for those that have lost hope in prayer or need a real example of the playbook that gets us close to Jesus.

PRAISE THE LORD!

When (romantic) connection is there, "communication" becomes less than the usual problem.

LOVE THE HECK OUTTA HER! Just love up on her, gaze at her adoringly, kiss the back of her neck randomly while she makes dinner...

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@JustPassingThru Great observations, I've learned all those lessons the hard way, and making it a habit was even harder. This was certainly part of my journey. I couldn't truly understand those lessons without trying, failing, falling down, asking God for help, and then getting back up again. Its amazing how powerful and simple indifference is. I have just stopped wanting / expecting things out of her and it naturally removed all the stress and entitlement that I was suffering from.

@Billiards Ball I spent most of the summer reading about a dozen self-help books for marriage and romance. It was frustrating, because at the time, all of the techniques were not an option for me. Simply put, my wife's "love bank" was closed. Anything I tried was immediately shot down. Now that God has intervened and softened her heart, all of the techniques to show love that I have learned are now in play. Looking back I can see how God was refining me to be the Godly man of the house and a person that she would be romantically drawn to. Now I get to show her all that love and she receives it, which is very enjoyable. I still have to hold back a bit as not not press certain boundaries. The holy spirit has been guiding me in this.

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22 hours ago, onedirection said:

@JustPassingThru Great observations, I've learned all those lessons the hard way, and making it a habit was even harder. This was certainly part of my journey. I couldn't truly understand those lessons without trying, failing, falling down, asking God for help, and then getting back up again. Its amazing how powerful and simple indifference is. I have just stopped wanting / expecting things out of her and it naturally removed all the stress and entitlement that I was suffering from.

@Billiards Ball I spent most of the summer reading about a dozen self-help books for marriage and romance. It was frustrating, because at the time, all of the techniques were not an option for me. Simply put, my wife's "love bank" was closed. Anything I tried was immediately shot down. Now that God has intervened and softened her heart, all of the techniques to show love that I have learned are now in play. Looking back I can see how God was refining me to be the Godly man of the house and a person that she would be romantically drawn to. Now I get to show her all that love and she receives it, which is very enjoyable. I still have to hold back a bit as not not press certain boundaries. The holy spirit has been guiding me in this.

Indifference is power. So is your patience, and love, gifts of God. Congratulations!

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Ok folks, this thread is a wrap. My wife and I are fully reconciled and the marriage is better than ever.

A sincere thank you to all of you for the support which helped make this possible.

Let this be a testimony to all: those that don’t believe in prayer, young men’s view of sex and marriage, struggling couples, anyone second guessing faith; I’ve got a story to conquer them all.

Amen!

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Hi, thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about your marital struggles. Marriage isn't easy or everyone would do it. Your relationship with God takes priority, even before your marriage. Also, your partner should bring you closer to God not further away. If you find this is still not a team effort, move on for your spiritual health and well being. Lead by example for your kids, as it may bring them closer to God too. They will respect and admire you more for keeping it real with God 

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