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I am not real big on mushy Christian movies, but there is one called Fireproof, that illustrates what Marilyn is talking about, and is in fact addressing the 'falling out of love' scenario. Wouldn't hurt to watch it, if you get the chance.

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On 7/11/2018 at 6:30 PM, BK1110 said:

Yowm beat me to it. Above all else, pray, fervently, daily, ceaselessly. No one can truly come to God unless they are called. The Spirit needs to work powerfully in your wife's heart to draw her to the truth. Pray pray pray that God will soften her hear to Himself and the Bible first, and you as well. Pray that God gives you the opening to be a Biblical husband.

Might I also recommend you look up Voddie Baucham's "Love and Marriage" sermon on Youtube? It's a powerful unpacking of what Biblical marriage is really supposed to be. I would start by watching it yourself, and then waiting for the right time to try to get your wife to watch it once her heart is more open.

God bless you richly! Also, don't go this alone; I would suggest you post about this in the prayer forum as well, many of us would be happy to pray for you and your wife daily!

I agree with BK1110-  God is your mighty HOLY All Powerful, All knowing  Ally in this, be in fervent, heartfelt prayer ceaselessly. Ask HIS merciful wise guidance how to pray for her & how to let Christ Jesus be over your marriage and home. Ask the Lord to place in her heart a godly love. If you two were never quite right with God this might be a 'remaking' of your marriage happening & so you should pray faithfully for her salvation.  

Sometimes when people pray they tend to give God a long laundry list of complaints that they want God to Fix in the other person- this is not the best way to pray imo. Ask God to change her heart to reveal the Lord Jesus to her in a way she has never known to bring her to repentance & faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, ask that the LORD GOD remove all hindrances & rebelliousness from her that have been keeping her from opening her heart to hearing the word of GOD preached.  Praying using the scripture is a most powerful way in prayer, look for God's truths and promises in the scripture and pray with earnestness & with faith that you & your household can overcome all the tests & trials by the Power of the LORD GOD & the Holy Spirit, through Christ Jesus! Believe & trust in God's faithfulness in this. Learn to be in constant communication with the LORD God in prayer, in Jesus name & When something happens tell the LORD you Trust HIM in FAITH that HE HAS got this! we are weak but HE is strong! & that "I can do nothing of myself but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me !"Phil 4:13 and Believe!

This is a spiritual battle that you are fighting & the LORD GOD is all-powerful and faithful to answer our prayers for help. Surround yourself and your home in God's word through faithful Bible study, devotion, prayer & pray God's blessings over your wife- claim her as the God's daughter in Christ, ask the Lord to protect her heart, & to touch it with HIS TRUTH & LOVE & Praying that the LORD protect her from the wiles of the devil and keep her from all negative spiritual influences and ask that HE daily send His angels to be with her 24/7 and to lead her to salvation in Christ. Let God's love come through you as a living fountain in your home, be gentle, loving, & quietly , kindly strong , guiding her as with the Lord Jesus hand asking always for His wisdom . As you become the man of God through the wisdom, grace &  love of the Lord Jesus it will impact your wife.  Give her a blessed gift with some meaningful scripture on it that she will have with her always.  May God bless & keep you ever in His care. Keep us updated. 

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The WarRoom is a Christian Movie I recommend you watch also. 

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10 hours ago, Marilyn C said:

Hi onedirection,

Can appreciate your difficulty. And I must say that others have given such good down to earth advice.

Now I would like just to add that posting scriptures comes over as `religious` and `this is what YOU (wife) need.` (ug) God made us and the world and expects us to be REAL in it. LOVE, true God LOVE is the giving of yourself in humble, caring, non judgmental ways. Drop the religious jargon and show what those scriptures mean in everyday life. Jesus showed by  - washing feet, listening to others, walking the dusty roads, etc etc.

Do the dishes, take out the rubbish, clean this or that, without expecting any thanks or notice, but God sees and your, yes YOUR inner life will change and that is what your wife is looking for - a real down to earth, not religious jargon talking false person. It`s the inner life that needs changing and the focus, dear bro, is on YOU.

Your wife will respond when the real person comes forth. Also let me say that man`s religious organisations tend to breed religiously false people.

Seek the Lord to help you be real, humble, and serving without expectations. Smile at your wife, appreciate her, be interested in her day, her ups and downs and bit by bit the Lord will work through you to reveal who He is making you - not a clone of an organisation but like the Lord.

Remember - drop the religious stuff, for it has to be shown in reality not words.

all the best and praying, Marilyn. 

Agreed on all counts; and one thing I may add:

Onedirection, instead of fighting with your wife, fight for her. Be willing to do what it takes to become the man of God she needs you to be, and the head of the household that is under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Pray, read Scripture and apply that Scripture to yourself so that the Lord can mold you into the man He's meant you to become.

I hope this helps,

-Sojo414

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@living-direction

Have I asked open ended questions? Yes I have. Every morning I've been doing "how can i make your day great?". Day 1 - nothing, I'm fine. Day 2 - I don't know. I am going to do this every day, interested to see if I start getting real answers.

She doesn't know what I can do to win back her love. All she has told me is to be positive, patient, and to build up her self-esteem. I'm doing all these things. She has entered into mutual activities with me and agrees we need to connect more, but some of it is on her own terms. For example, touching of any kind is off limits.

All the other advice has been great. I am indeed focusing on self-improvement and studying scripture that will teach be how to be a better husband. Some of this honestly is going to be praying, waiting, and acting gracefully for a long long long time.

I did tell her about 'A weekend to remember' retreat. Seed planted. Obviously she didn't respond to me, because that's what she does when I push for progress. That is typical of her behavior in anything though. 2 months from now, she could be booking it herself, we don't know.

I'm looking forward to going to church with her tomorrow. Let's pray that the holy spirit surrounds us and that God's plan is revealed for why we're going through this trial. I'm envisioning a future where we share our testimony to other troubled couples so we can bring more people to Jesus. But right now that is just my dream, not hers.

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