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PinkBelt

Why I left my church and family.

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I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

Edited by PinkBelt
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32 minutes ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

And the boyfriend, PinkBelt?

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1 hour ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

 

 

Great to see that you escaped the insanity of your previous years.....no wonder you are happier.The charity and compassion of which you speak are great things......I hope you realize they play no part in your salvation...could you expand on the Red Letter thingy? What does it say about salvation?God bless.

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2 hours ago, PinkBelt said:

I was born in 1978 to a Chinese mother and American father. They were both missionaries in China for many years. When I was 12 I got involved in martial arts (Kung-Fu) and got quite enmeshed in the culture to my parents disapproval. Around the same time I started to see the flaws in my parents, who were quite down on Chinese people, (despite my mother being Chinese herself) and towards "unsaved" people in general. We fought quite a bit during my entire teen years and when I was 18 I married a boy I didn't love because it freed me from having to live with them. He was also quite evangelical and hard to deal with, becoming increasingly right wing and not respectful towards me or my daughter. Our church believed women should be controlled at all times and kept under her parents, and then husbands thumb. This church was also hostile towards the poor, almost all "out" groups and tolerated not disagreements. They were also highly political despite a tax exempt status that in theory should prevent them from endorsing candidates. They heavily endorsed Bush Jr. in both elections and put enormous pressure on everyone to vote for him. They put similar pressure on us during the 2008 and 2012 elections.

 

When Obama got elected I noticed my church got even more angry and cruel minded. The blamed everyone different for all of societies ills and became an almost hive mind. When it somehow slipped that I voted for Obama both times they would make comments questioning my salvation. I would get passive aggressive comments questioning why I was there and so on. My parents and husband were among them in this treatment. My church had always preached at great length about family values and battling societal issues like gambling, porn and so on. During the 2016 election I was horrified to see virtually everyone endorsing Trump, a man who embraced all the things they previously condemned. They also embraced Roy Moore, (I have no idea why we lived in California), and other such candidates. I realized to my horror that these so called "Christians" were nothing of the sort, and they called themselves Christians because it was part of their identity and not because they believed in or embraced Christ's values. My husband also cheated on me with a woman who taught Sunday school and they blamed me, not him for the affair. I was essentially commanded to forgive him and take him back because the bible says to forgive. 

 

Well, forgiveness is a two way street and if you are yourself not forgiving than you have no business demanding forgiveness from others.  Having grown tired of the mental abuse I divorced my husband and took myself away. I also cut off my parents after repeated hostile phone calls and demands to "return to the flock". I told them I did not believe as they do and I do not wish any more contact.

 

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

I do not endorse a legalistic, uncompassionate, domineering church....but I also wonder about your boyfriend?   Although we should be loving Christians, we should still seek to walk with Jesus in ways that honor Him and His name as followers of Christ.

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16 hours ago, Michael37 said:

@PinkBelt Said: I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption.

Pinkbelt, although your growing up experience is pretty much a caricature of what the Christian faith is not, neither is the 'red letter theology' the Christianity of the Bible which at least covers from Matthew to Revelation.

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1 hour ago, Yowm said:

Although your growing up experience is pretty much a caricature of what the Christian faith is not, neither is the 'red letter theology' the Christianity of the Bible which at least covers from Matthew to Revelation.

That's a pretty bold claim. Why are they and, (by extension of your claim), myself not Christian?

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22 minutes ago, PinkBelt said:

That's a pretty bold claim. Why are they and, (by extension of your claim), myself not Christian?

Because the red letters are words that the Apostles  recorded of their encounters with Jesus just as Romans through Revelation are words that the Apostles recorded through inspiration of the Holy Spirit which also reflect Jesus' teachings. You can't pit one section over the other, that is a tactic bible denying liberals use, not born again Christians. I never said you weren't a Christian, it's just you need some better teaching than what you received.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, PinkBelt said:

That's a pretty bold claim. Why are they and, (by extension of your claim), myself not Christian?

The largest problem is that while you claim that you, and the Red Letter movement eschew "right" or "left," that is actually not true.  The Red Letter movement was formulated by people like Jim Wallis, Richard Rohr, Brian McLaren and Tony Campolo.  All 4 of these men preach a Social Gospel not found in the Bible.  All of them are part of the Emergent Church movement that hates Evangelicals with a passion.  All of them preach a Liberal doctrine that says there really is no such thing as sin and any behavior is fine as long as you say Jesus' name once in awhile and make everything good by inserting the word "love" in the concept.  In other words, the Red Letter movement is 100% Liberal.

The main problem with Liberal Christianity adherents is that they only use Jesus when it is convenient to do so.  They will use him to further un-biblical concepts like wealth re-distribution, gay marriage and "everything is OK as long as 'love' is the focus" logic, but when it comes to sin, repentance and actual fixed moral values, Liberal Christianity adherents become limp-wristed mumblers who distance themselves from the moral absolutes that Jesus talks about all the time like they are a communicable disease. 

I will also point out that as a two-time Obama voter, you voted for a person who was amoral to the core.  You voted for a person who was the most avid fanboy of abortion I have ever seen, next to Cecil Richards.  Cecil Richards is the president of Planned Parenthood and one of the people who thinks it is perfectly acceptable to part out an aborted fetus like it was a junk car and sell the child's parts to the highest bidder.  The Obama administration did absolutely nothing to stop this violation of U.S. law.  Also, your use of the word "jingoism" would mean that you believe, to some degree that patriotism is the by-product of rampant racism by every white person in America.  There is no other reason to use the word, which has just about as much validity as "homophobe."  In other words, a vote for Obama said you support abhorrent moral practices such as abortion and homosexuality.  Do you believe these behaviors are acceptable to Christ?

Edited by Cobalt1959
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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Yowm said:
  14 hours ago, Michael37 said:

I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption

Please Note: I, Michael37, did not make this comment as shown in the quote bearing my appellation. It should read PinkBelt. This error has been reported and hopefully will not reoccur. Gremlins get thee hence! 🖐️

Edited by Michael37
gremlins
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15 hours ago, PinkBelt said:

I shortly after moved to Canada with my Canadian boyfriend. My daughter remains in LA for her career. She left this church when she was 18, as she is smarter than I am. I now embrace the Christianity of the bible, charity, compassion and a come as you are philosophy. I adhere to the Red Letter movement which rejects left and right wing politics and focuses on the teaching of Jesus, divorced of jingoism and political corruption. I am much happier. 

Everyone comes to Jesus "as they are."  But you cannot stay that way, especially when it comes to sin.  The Red Letter movement does not view things like abortion or homosexuality as sin, so in reality, they do not teach Jesus at all.  They use Him as a magical talisman to justify a doctrine of their own creation.

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