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Feeling worthless as a woman


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Hello, Saints

I really don't mean to be a negative person on the board. Apart from my first topic created, I really tried to seek Heaven and drawing close to God. I wish my walk with Him was a lot easier than what it has always been. Feeling worthless has always been a constant struggle. In 2011 I started questioning God's love for women. The bible is a terrifying book to read. And I'm not the only one becuase many women feel the way I do. I have sought for answers, but no matter how much I pray, or how many sermons I listen to, or how much I read the bible, I will always believe God loves men more, and I will ALWAYS feel this way until I am in front of His face on my knees. I just can't escape this mindset as once again, I've been battling this since 2011.

Please help me with these points I provided at the bottom, and tell me there isn't a horrific and frightening pattern in terms of the worth of a woman.

1. God made man first. Eve was the last, and the very last creation I suppose. I'm not sure why they couldn't be created together.

2. Adam was given some really impressive roles over the planet. He got to name all the animals, but worse, he got to name Eve. She had no sense of independence or couldn't even name herself. They say male and female are equal,  yet Adam named her. When you name something, that's usually a sense of ownership. Adam was to be leader of the planet. What about Eve? Well...help him or be a helpmate, whatever you call it. She just seems like a minor addition to the main piece that God had already ordained to be his greatest creation. He barely gave her much of an assignment. God created for her ADAM, like some treat wrapped up with a pretty pink bow. So, he was already given so much, and got something more. What did Eve get in return? I don't really see any type of incentive or advantage she was able to get out of any of it. Honestly, I feel sorry for her.

3. When Eve sinned, God confronted Adam. So, it's like no matter what she says or does, it's insignificant, becuase what really mattered was what Adam was supposed to do. Why didn't God confront Eve? It's like she was a some child that couldn't answer for herself.

4. Women are physically weaker. Well, thanks. If a man chooses to do something terrible to a woman, she barely has a chance against him. I have a neighbor who was coming on to me a few months ago; kept hugging me in a ways as if we were close family. I kept rejecting his hugs and tried to create space, but he ended up hugging me three times. He was really big. My head was right at his chest. His arms felt like logs. If he decided he wanted to hurt me, I knew I had no chance.

5. A woman's worth in the bible always seemed to be finding a husband. If she couldn't, she ran the risk of being poor. Oh, don't forget, she had to be a virgin, or her value was below dirt. Men could go around having as much sex and as many baby machines and wives as they wanted, yet so much pressure was on the woman being pure, obedient, and totally dismissing having to compete against other wives of her own husband. Having a son was of higher emphasis and worth. Daughters were rarely praised, known to be loved, or desired. Take for instance Jacob's daughter was raped by the king. Jacob barely expressed any concern. But anyway, women always prayed to God to give her a son. Son this. Son that. Son North, south, east, and west.

6. Mostly male genealogies were listed in the bible. Some women were rarely mentioned.

7. God paid way more attention to men, creating many to be biblical heroes for the whole span humanity to come to know and admire = Abraham, Noah, Moses, Samuel, David, and etc. Ruth only had a couple of paragraphs, yet Moses had what...maybe three whole books? And even when Ruth was mentioned, once again, her value or mission was all about having a man owning her, or at least that was what her depressed mother-in-law wanted.

8. God is known as 'He' and 'Father'. If God really is neither male nor female, why is He choosing to side or favor the male? I mean, He created two genders and it's obvious He has favored one.

9. Jesus is male as well, our one and only savior of the entire universe; the only important man that ever lived.

10. All of the disciples were male, or at least the main ones. Jesus didn't reach out to even one female? Just all male?

11. We have to submit to a man. Why? Why are we regarding our husbands as if they are lords or some God? If they are just as human as me, what makes them more important to be over me? I can understand the workforce in having leaders and bosses, but if it's your own home where you're supposed to feel comfortable and safe, why do i have to become powerless and lower myself to obey him? What is he leading me to or what for? Are women too stupid to do anything on their own? It just seems like women are to 'shut up', obey, change diapers, and look pretty.

Listen, I do not in any way to come across as having an attitude, and whining. If you're a man and reading this, you have to at least consider what it must be like picking up the bible as a woman and just being horrified of the things in there. It's asking a lot to have a woman submit to you. To you, it's nothing, but to a woman, it's way different. I have had some severe self-worth and esteem issue over the years with being a woman. Lately, I've thought about what it would be like to have a husband, and while sometimes it seems nice, most of the time, I can't deal with it. I'm not the marriage type. If I marry, I will resent him and his place as a leader. I WISH there was a way to truly understand everything. I'm just so scared to flip those papers of he bible and read something concerning my gender.

Who can help with this?

 

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1 hour ago, Darian86 said:

Hello, Saints

He barely gave her much of an assignment.

 Jesus didn't reach out to even one female? Just all male?

God is known as 'He' and 'Father'

I have had some severe self-worth and esteem issue over the years with being a woman. .

Who can help with this?

 

Hi Darian,

Pleased to meet you and talk on this very important question you have brought up - being female. A few thoughts came to mind on each of those points I have put in bold. I know others here will have good thoughts.

Firstly God is called `the big breasted one.` Mmmmm meaning He nurtures and cares for what He creates. As being `Father` that gives us the understanding of His Creating us, and His protection.

Now to Eve, she was given the wonderful `job,` responsibility of being fruitful and through her, down through the ages, the saviour was born.

Now Jesus did reach out to women. And actually many women were in the group that went around with him. Remember the woman at the well, Jesus listened to her and gently showed her a better way to live. Then the woman caught in adultery, (yes, where was the fella), but Jesus just turned the tables on her accusers and helped her to go another way in life.

What you are `fighting` against, is the fallen nature of man, (& woman). Men try to control through power and strength and women try to control through sex and manipulation. No wonder you and all women would have `self worth and esteem issues.` Our only source of self - worth and esteem is from the Lord. As we learn to walk with Him in our daily lives then we find that He values us, so much that He humbled Himself, instead of calling a legion of angels, he suffered Himself to be brutalised, flogged & flailed, then crucified upon a cruel cross, a public spectacle, near naked.

So I think we need to actually think upon this person Jesus and really get to know Him in our daily lives.

regards, Marilyn. 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Darian86 said:

Please help me with these points I provided at the bottom, and tell me there isn't a horrific and frightening pattern in terms of the worth of a woman.

Hi, the points even if full credit is given them and are accepted are really irrelevant, for they are but a small list of issues one can bring to the table when deciding to resist authority of God. Satan has his list of reasons too, a third of the host of heaven bought into that particular list.

It is absolutely right and reasonable to be afraid of one's plight in this fallen creation under the wrath of God! It is a fool that is not aware of the awesome power of God, and the lowly place one occupies in the timeline of creation. Angels were created first, before even Adam was. Adam was created a little lower than the angels, least that is implied in that Christ who is God became fully a man Jesus, and was declared to be a little lower than the angels. Man is lower than angels and was created after angels were created,  - yet man will judge angels! So one's standing before God changes, least it is not stagnant nor fixed.

Woman  on earth has a lower status perhaps, but woman has courage plus strength of faith that God loves.  God has used woman to show Himself to mankind, both male and female. I'll not go through those examples, they are throughout the old testament and the new testament and can be found by doing any simple search of woman of the Bible.

As to lines of lineage the only provable line until DNA testing has been through the woman, for only she is ever truly known, and that by suffering the pains of birthing.

Whether man or wo-man, there is weakness. There is also defeat as long as the fight is fought against flesh. For we do not wrestle against that which is of flesh. We wrestle against that which is of rebellion of the spirit, and against the externals that of born of satan's rebellion and encouraged by his many little antichrists, the demons the fallen hosts of heaven, all of whom once had high status, but forfeited it. By God's wrath against them they fell.

All, absolutely all of mankind is fallen too. All deserve the plight faced as all are born into sin, the result of Adam's sin sure, but also of the nature inherited in the line that came from Eve. Blame Adam, blame Eve, doesn't much matter, for one must ultimately come to blame self for rebelling against God's will as a totally depraved creature.

Fortunately God is merciful as well as righteous. He has made reconciliation of the impossible secure so that  each  of us may be with Him eternally. It takes some humility to gain that mercy. One has to come to  the cross at Calvary to see Jesus suffering like no man nor woman suffered, taking on the sins of all that will be saved out from under God's wrath. An impossible task, yet Jesus who is God has done it for you personally and for me too, should we each individually accept it. It is ours for eternity, and we will be exalted to be with Him eternally. It is true that by Jesus alone are any of us saved from our plight to come,- that of eternal destruction. There is strong reason to fear that! There is also absolutely equal hope for both man and for woman  as individuals to be saved out from the awful plight that is facing  each person.

Seek out the saving grace and mercy of Jesus made possible by His sacrifice made of His blood so that sin of individual man and woman  may be covered, that God may see each of us washed white as snow pure and acceptable to perfect God.  

Rejoice in the mercy of God.

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The issues of the flesh has no significance to the eternal state of being

Gal 3:28

28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
KJV

 

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This board is really amazing. Lots of things make a lot of sense while some still sting me. But I really appreciate all of your responses. 

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12 hours ago, Darian86 said:

 

11. We have to submit to a man. Why? Why are we regarding our husbands as if they are lords or some God? If they are just as human as me, what makes them more important to be over me? I can understand the workforce in having leaders and bosses, but if it's your own home where you're supposed to feel comfortable and safe, why do i have to become powerless and lower myself to obey him? What is he leading me to or what for? Are women too stupid to do anything on their own? It just seems like women are to 'shut up', obey, change diapers, and look pretty.

Listen, I do not in any way to come across as having an attitude, and whining. If you're a man and reading this, you have to at least consider what it must be like picking up the bible as a woman and just being horrified of the things in there. It's asking a lot to have a woman submit to you. To you, it's nothing, but to a woman, it's way different. I have had some severe self-worth and esteem issue over the years with being a woman. Lately, I've thought about what it would be like to have a husband, and while sometimes it seems nice, most of the time, I can't deal with it. I'm not the marriage type. If I marry, I will resent him and his place as a leader. I WISH there was a way to truly understand everything. I'm just so scared to flip those papers of he bible and read something concerning my gender.

Who can help with this?

 

If you think Husbands are over their wives just because they were to be submissive, you need to look at the other half of that command.....   Men and men only are commanded to love their wives.....   as he loved the church.....   Jesus's whole life was to do the things that was/is/will be best for the church, even to the point of death.....     I think that means putting the wife first in his life no matter what....   putting her well being in front of his.....

God didn't made eve to do the same things that Adam could do, he made her to do the things that Adam couldn't do....   and the feminist movement has just about destroyed the woman's special place that they fill in this world...

And if you are having trouble with men being so much stronger than you and you fear some harm, just get a concealed weapon permit for a good handgun takes away all the advantage of being a big brute.

 

Not always second either.    Who did Jesus first tell who he was....  it was the woman at the well.....    not only a woman, but a Samaritan woman at that....

Paul did tell one of the churches not to let women speak in the services.....    but in others they were preaching and evangelizing.....    but it seems that people want to just dwell on that one instance where there was a problem  and having women not be in charge over men but never really look at the sex of those  who were not in that situation....  maybe it's because it's hard to distinguish what sex they were by the names....

Look at what proverbs calls a good woman that is more precious than gold.....    mother, head of household, business person who makes money and saves.....     

I've seen that special bond between a mother and their children....    I know that I can never have that kind of relationship with another person except maybe with her if I work to develop it...

I would say that Jesus changed many things when he came and the status of women on the spiritual level was among them...…    No longer Jew and gentile or man and women.....   all equal in him.    So don't sell yourself short if the general public doesn't understand those changes, and especially the guys that preach only the submit part of man/woman relationships...

What woman would not be submissive in her relationship if her husband put her first in everything  and loved and protected her from troubles.....     Don't put yourself down because most men don't live up to what Jesus instructed them to do.....    You are special and don't ever forget it...

Edited by other one
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"3. When Eve sinned, God confronted Adam. So, it's like no matter what she says or does, it's insignificant, becuase what really mattered was what Adam was supposed to do. Why didn't God confront Eve? It's like she was a some child that couldn't answer for herself..................2.  Adam was given some really impressive roles over the planet. He got to name all the animals, but worse, he got to name Eve. She had no sense of independence or couldn't even name herself. They say male and female are equal,  yet Adam named her. When you name something, that's usually a sense of ownership. Adam was to be leader of the planet. "

Read the Bible again - Genesis 3.  God did confront Eve.  Sin is the individual's fault and God confronted each individually.

God asked Eve very pointedly, "What is this that you have done?"  I don't know how much more confrontational God can get with someone.

And she DID answer for herself.  She said, "The serpent deceived me and I did eat."  She was telling the truth, but using it as an excuse - just like her husband did.

I've already explained why Adam was given the job to name the animals.  If you go back and read when and why he gave his wife the name, Eve, you will see it was out of seeing her great worth to the entirety of mankind.

  • He did not give her a name until after they had sinned and received their punishments.  AND not until after the devil was given the prophecy that a future seed of woman would destroy him.  We know that woman would be Mary, but Mary would not be here if Eve hadn't had her children first.
  • Adam, now a sinner, but still understanding that God is God and his plans are far above him [Adam], gets a small sneak peek at God's sovereignty and power to defeat the serpent, the devil.
  • And it involves a Child.
  • And his wife, the woman, is going to bear children with sorrow.
  • Perhaps he sees now his failure to protect both her and himself.
  • He names her Eve - "the mother of all the living".  It's a very important name.  Not a name that Eve should have thrust upon herself because that would be arrogant.  But her husband gave her that name.  And I believe with respect.
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"2. continued ...........What about Eve? Well...help him or be a helpmate, whatever you call it. She just seems like a minor addition to the main piece that God had already ordained to be his greatest creation. He barely gave her much of an assignment. God created for her ADAM, like some treat wrapped up with a pretty pink bow. So, he was already given so much, and got something more. What did Eve get in return? I don't really see any type of incentive or advantage she was able to get out of any of it. Honestly, I feel sorry for her."

Whatever you call it?  Is that really what you think of Eve?

It's called a "help meet".  Literally, the Hebrew words "ezer kenegdo".   There are a few words for "help" in the Bible, but this word for Eve is "ezer" - עֵזֶר  

This word, ezer, [pronounced A-zer] is also the "help" word used for God in such passages as "I will lift up mine eyes from when cometh my help [ezer] and about a dozen more.  

It doesn't mean the "help" as in maid service.  It can't.  It's the EXACT same word for God.  So what does "help" - "ezer" mean?  It literally means "succor" or "giving assistance or relief in hard times or distress".  It means giving someone the relief that they cannot give themselves.

Adam, as father, gets to share that name with God the Father.  Eve, as the wife and mother of all the living, gets to share the Godly attribute "help".  Help in this context is not making her inferior or less in worth.

And "meet".  It's the Hebrew word "kenegdo".  It's only found in to two places:  here for Eve and in Joshua 5:13 for the commander of the army of the Lord and his position against [or in some versions, opposite] Joshua.

This word means "opposite, against, corresponding".   Men and women are not the same - equal in worth and value - but not the same.

Just as Joshua and the commander of the Lord's armies were not the same, yet had the same mission.

Think of you two hands.  On one had your thumb is on the right.  On the other hand your thumb is on the left.  If both hands had thumbs on the same side, work would be very difficult.

Think of using a hoe to till the ground.  When it is grasped, both thumbs end up on top of the hoe for guiding it even though one thumb is on the right of the hand and one on the left. Ergo, tilling the ground is much simpler.

What ever you call it?

I call Eve, the mother of all the living, and her role as "help meet", "ezer kenegdo", the great relief who has a different purpose,.....

....I call that awesome and I don't feel sorry for her one bit.

Now, has the church and the world made wife into something weak and pitiful that God never intended?  Well, some churches and some societies.

I can't do anything about that.  I can only live as God intends.

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On 7/21/2018 at 2:23 AM, Darian86 said:

Hello, Saints

I really don't mean to be a negative person on the board. Apart from my first topic created, I really tried to seek Heaven and drawing close to God. I wish my walk with Him was a lot easier than what it has always been. Feeling worthless has always been a constant struggle. In 2011 I started questioning God's love for women. The bible is a terrifying book to read. And I'm not the only one becuase many women feel the way I do. I have sought for answers, but no matter how much I pray, or how many sermons I listen to, or how much I read the bible, I will always believe God loves men more, and I will ALWAYS feel this way until I am in front of His face on my knees. I just can't escape this mindset as once again, I've been battling this since 2011.

Please help me with these points I provided at the bottom, and tell me there isn't a horrific and frightening pattern in terms of the worth of a woman.

1. God made man first. Eve was the last, and the very last creation I suppose. I'm not sure why they couldn't be created together.

2. Adam was given some really impressive roles over the planet. He got to name all the animals, but worse, he got to name Eve. She had no sense of independence or couldn't even name herself. They say male and female are equal,  yet Adam named her. When you name something, that's usually a sense of ownership. Adam was to be leader of the planet. What about Eve? Well...help him or be a helpmate, whatever you call it. She just seems like a minor addition to the main piece that God had already ordained to be his greatest creation. He barely gave her much of an assignment. God created for her ADAM, like some treat wrapped up with a pretty pink bow. So, he was already given so much, and got something more. What did Eve get in return? I don't really see any type of incentive or advantage she was able to get out of any of it. Honestly, I feel sorry for her.

3. When Eve sinned, God confronted Adam. So, it's like no matter what she says or does, it's insignificant, becuase what really mattered was what Adam was supposed to do. Why didn't God confront Eve? It's like she was a some child that couldn't answer for herself.

4. Women are physically weaker. Well, thanks. If a man chooses to do something terrible to a woman, she barely has a chance against him. I have a neighbor who was coming on to me a few months ago; kept hugging me in a ways as if we were close family. I kept rejecting his hugs and tried to create space, but he ended up hugging me three times. He was really big. My head was right at his chest. His arms felt like logs. If he decided he wanted to hurt me, I knew I had no chance.

5. A woman's worth in the bible always seemed to be finding a husband. If she couldn't, she ran the risk of being poor. Oh, don't forget, she had to be a virgin, or her value was below dirt. Men could go around having as much sex and as many baby machines and wives as they wanted, yet so much pressure was on the woman being pure, obedient, and totally dismissing having to compete against other wives of her own husband. Having a son was of higher emphasis and worth. Daughters were rarely praised, known to be loved, or desired. Take for instance Jacob's daughter was raped by the king. Jacob barely expressed any concern. But anyway, women always prayed to God to give her a son. Son this. Son that. Son North, south, east, and west.

6. Mostly male genealogies were listed in the bible. Some women were rarely mentioned.

7. God paid way more attention to men, creating many to be biblical heroes for the whole span humanity to come to know and admire = Abraham, Noah, Moses, Samuel, David, and etc. Ruth only had a couple of paragraphs, yet Moses had what...maybe three whole books? And even when Ruth was mentioned, once again, her value or mission was all about having a man owning her, or at least that was what her depressed mother-in-law wanted.

8. God is known as 'He' and 'Father'. If God really is neither male nor female, why is He choosing to side or favor the male? I mean, He created two genders and it's obvious He has favored one.

9. Jesus is male as well, our one and only savior of the entire universe; the only important man that ever lived.

10. All of the disciples were male, or at least the main ones. Jesus didn't reach out to even one female? Just all male?

11. We have to submit to a man. Why? Why are we regarding our husbands as if they are lords or some God? If they are just as human as me, what makes them more important to be over me? I can understand the workforce in having leaders and bosses, but if it's your own home where you're supposed to feel comfortable and safe, why do i have to become powerless and lower myself to obey him? What is he leading me to or what for? Are women too stupid to do anything on their own? It just seems like women are to 'shut up', obey, change diapers, and look pretty.

Listen, I do not in any way to come across as having an attitude, and whining. If you're a man and reading this, you have to at least consider what it must be like picking up the bible as a woman and just being horrified of the things in there. It's asking a lot to have a woman submit to you. To you, it's nothing, but to a woman, it's way different. I have had some severe self-worth and esteem issue over the years with being a woman. Lately, I've thought about what it would be like to have a husband, and while sometimes it seems nice, most of the time, I can't deal with it. I'm not the marriage type. If I marry, I will resent him and his place as a leader. I WISH there was a way to truly understand everything. I'm just so scared to flip those papers of he bible and read something concerning my gender.

Who can help with this?

 

There's a lot to unpack here. 1) Do some research on "complementarianism and the Bible". 2) Recognize that every person on Earth asks the "why me? who me?" questions, and the Bible says these answers will draw us closer to God. 3) WHO makes is seem like women "shut up and look pretty?" Is that a church doing that or is there something in your background that has caused you to interpret the scriptures that way? Paul COMMANDS MEN to follow certain WOMEN. The Bible had female deacons and most churches do now. Paul tells people to help Phoebe, a female leader/deacon in the church, BEFORE he commends two people who literally risked their lives to save his life.

And, of course, Jesus had women in His closest camp and appeared to two WOMEN first after He resurrected from the dead!

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