DavidFilm Posted July 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 24 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 27 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 21 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/01/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2018 I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr3032 Posted July 23, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 332 Content Per Day: 0.16 Reputation: 273 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/23/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2018 Alcoholism is an issue. However, most people seem to focus on the empathy of it rather than actually trying to help. If this man does not want help, then it doesn't matter how much of it is offered, because he can really only help himself. If he claims to want help and has shown improvement, then that is good. Addiction can be difficult to overcome. With help and support, a person who truly wants to change and rid themselves of their vices can do so. If he claims to want help and he is not better and maybe even possibly worse, all that the congregation is doing is encouraging the behavior, not helping or stopping it. From the context, it seems this has been an ongoing problem, which is making me think it is this one. Tough love can be and still is a form of love. Often times, the kindest thing you can do for another person is tell them or show them where they are wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryan Posted July 23, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 9 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 422 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 319 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/13/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2018 7 hours ago, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 So a church is spending time and money on a person that may be a lost cause? It's up to the church to make their own priorities, right? A church may decide to spend $60,000 on a week long mission trip to help build a school in Mexico, but ignore local needs involving homeless, poor, or elderly. It may have good reasons for spending their time and money that way. We may or may not agree. Our choice is whether we support a church and their priorities. It's society thinking. Church thinking as well. If we don't see the value of how a church is spending their resources, it's likely time to look for one that's a better fit. We likely won't agree with all the choices of a church, but it will hopefully be possible to find one where we agree with most of their choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billiards Ball Posted July 23, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,502 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 662 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/05/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted July 23, 2018 9 hours ago, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 There are good and bad churches, as have existed since the Acts. We all have lost friends and loved ones. Be faithful and witness to the many people you know and also strangers you don't, who are not your ex or her church. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sower Posted August 4, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 14 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 5,247 Content Per Day: 0.97 Reputation: 5,852 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/09/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted August 4, 2018 The reason so many people are able to continue in their dysfunctional addictive lifestyle is there are so many bleeding heart 'enablers'. As long as there is someone (else) to pull the addict out of the ditch,they will use them, and they will never pull themselves out. Love must be tough. If they don't do it themselves, it won't work. When no one comes to bail them out, they are forced to live with their own consequences. Same goes for food and shelter and clothing. You have to allow reality to set in, and not enable them to maintain. Yes, prayer, counseling, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_Leung Posted August 5, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 194 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 183 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/25/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted August 5, 2018 On 7/22/2018 at 10:35 PM, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 David, As I read your post, these verses came to mind: 2 Timothy 4:8, where Paul talked about the crown of righteousness, and, James 1:12: the crown of life, to those who remains steadfast under trial. In other words, stay true to Him and faith on! He knows your heart and love towards Him and will reward you accordingly at the stage of Christ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted August 11, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 951 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,565 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,045 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 7/23/2018 at 1:35 AM, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 Hi Just a personal thought: none of it matters a wit regarding the gospel of Jesus. If the sharing of the good news of salvation is the goal, one need to put aside most every other personal concern and turn to Christ Jesus, and not so the world makes sense, but because it does not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adstar Posted August 11, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,399 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,307 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 7/23/2018 at 3:35 PM, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 You seem to be a strong and capable person.. You have shown the ability and resourcefulness not to need help.. This man you describe seems to be a weak man incapable of overcoming his addiction to alcohol .. So who should the Christian community help? The strong or the weak? Helping the weak is not about endorsing their weakness.. It is about being in a position to help those who for what ever reason are in need to help.. The parable of the prodigal son is i think relevant here.. Yes the guy is pathetic and weak but he is still loved by God and therefore of worth.. Now the way the church deals with you ""not giving you the time of day"" is a totally different issue to the way they look after that alcoholic.. They may indeed be at fault for mistreating you.. But i cannot see how they can be faulted for helping their weak brother in Christ.. Unless that is if they cheer him on in his self abuse? One can help a weak brother without affirming their weakness to be good.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted August 11, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 100 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,157 Content Per Day: 7.98 Reputation: 21,444 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted August 11, 2018 If you take all the riches of the world and weigh them unto one soul with these verses in mind 2 Peter 3:10-13 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. 11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, 12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat? 13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness KJV What is your reasoning with God in this matter? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Zion* Posted August 11, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 154 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,245 Content Per Day: 0.78 Reputation: 2,397 Days Won: 9 Joined: 12/09/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/11/1984 Share Posted August 11, 2018 On 7/23/2018 at 6:35 AM, DavidFilm said: I need help getting my sights straight. There is a man in a local church here who has a drinking problem. Again and again, he has been arrested for DUI, spent a lot of time in jail. He has racked up fines, costs to bail him out, etc. People and friends in church have spent literally thousands on him. My Ex, (who divorced me 20 years ago) because she can't handle "living on the edge", as she puts it, goes to this church. I am spending my waking hours trying to get the Gospel message out, yet they are all throwing money and feeling sorry for this guy, and making me out to be the villan, yet I live in the biggest house on the block, paid for and out of debt, doing fine, etc. Yet this church would not give me the time of day! Is there something I am missing, or are we living in a day and age when white is black and black is white? David Film alturl.com/ioiz6 I would say they have the itching ears syndrome. To some, anything is more palatable than hearing the truth of the gospel; even needlessly giving away money if they think it'll make them seem more righteous than the one who is actually doing the right thing. These are the last days, and many shall be deceived - even the elect would be, if it were not for the Lord cutting the time short, as He says in His Word. Those who endure to the end will be saved. Hang in there, brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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