grace222 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2018 I am concerned for a friend who started dating a man late July 2018. She did know of him in the church but didn't really know him. They went on one date. She messaged him on FB to ask him out for a date. They went on the date and the next day she contacted him. He was very hazy about the date as he takes medication for a mental illness. I encouraged her to take things slow, but in a few days, she phoned me to tell me they were getting married. I was stunned?? Both are christians but he is still legally married and filing for divorce now after his wife left him 12 months ago. Apparently, he discovered she married him for VISA only. He appears quite vunerable. My friend just wants to be married. Now they are organising a marriage on 1 December but he only just filing for divorce now. He hasn't even completed the paper work. She told me only family are invited to wedding. It's her 3rd wedding at age 42, her first marriage was at age 17 to a 50 year old man with her parents consent. I am finding it hard to be happy for her but another christian friend said, we should be happy for her as the man she is marrying is lovely. What do you think? God hates divorce but his wife did abandon him. But should they be dating while he is still legally married? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,014 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,265 Content Per Day: 1.79 Reputation: 16,321 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2018 It does sound very odd for two Christians to be dating while one of them is still married! If they were just friends and spending a little time together as friends while he is separated, I could understand that. It seems your friend tends to make bad choices about marriage if she already has been married twice....and at 17 to a 50 year old man! They should at least be waiting until his divorce is final before dating, let alone setting such a close wedding date! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace222 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 I agree. When speaking with her friend, who is also a christian about it, the friend says it's wonderful as he is a lovely man. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,014 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,265 Content Per Day: 1.79 Reputation: 16,321 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 minute ago, grace222 said: I agree. When speaking with her friend, who is also a christian about it, the friend says it's wonderful as he is a lovely man. I would ask the friend how can it be wonderful when they are dating and planning marriage while he is still married? This makes me wonder about how serious the couple and the friend are about their faith in Christ. Since the man has mental illness and takes medication, I would give him a little more slack...it sounds like the woman really went after him. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shiloh357 Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 hour ago, grace222 said: I am concerned for a friend who started dating a man late July 2018. She did know of him in the church but didn't really know him. They went on one date. She messaged him on FB to ask him out for a date. They went on the date and the next day she contacted him. He was very hazy about the date as he takes medication for a mental illness. I encouraged her to take things slow, but in a few days, she phoned me to tell me they were getting married. I was stunned?? Both are christians but he is still legally married and filing for divorce now after his wife left him 12 months ago. Apparently, he discovered she married him for VISA only. He appears quite vunerable. My friend just wants to be married. Now they are organising a marriage on 1 December but he only just filing for divorce now. He hasn't even completed the paper work. She told me only family are invited to wedding. It's her 3rd wedding at age 42, her first marriage was at age 17 to a 50 year old man with her parents consent. I am finding it hard to be happy for her but another christian friend said, we should be happy for her as the man she is marrying is lovely. What do you think? God hates divorce but his wife did abandon him. But should they be dating while he is still legally married? Yeah, that is called "adultery." That's a bigger problem. If he is willing to do this to his former wife, he will do the same thing later on to your friend. Any man that would commit adultery is not worth being married to. If she is a true Christian, it should bother her that she is committing adultery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace222 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 14 minutes ago, shiloh357 said: Yeah, that is called "adultery." That's a bigger problem. If he is willing to do this to his former wife, he will do the same thing later on to your friend. Any man that would commit adultery is not worth being married to. If she is a true Christian, it should bother her that she is committing adultery. She told me that the marriage was based on a lie..that his former wife left him and only married him for a visa. She is pushing him to divorce her. The man is 48 and doesn't have a job which is another concern. She pursued him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest shiloh357 Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 6 minutes ago, grace222 said: She told me that the marriage was based on a lie..that his former wife left him and only married him for a visa. She is pushing him to divorce her. The man is 48 and doesn't have a job which is another concern. She pursued him. Doesn't matter. It is still adultery and if she is a Christian, she needs to cut this guy loose. He is a loser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,014 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,265 Content Per Day: 1.79 Reputation: 16,321 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2018 6 minutes ago, grace222 said: She told me that the marriage was based on a lie..that his former wife left him and only married him for a visa. She is pushing him to divorce her. The man is 48 and doesn't have a job which is another concern. She pursued him. Does your friend earn enough money to support both of them? Apparently his mental illness affects his ability to work? Your friend is so desperate to marry, she is not reasoning things out it seems. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace222 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 I agree. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace222 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 29 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 12 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/17/2007 Status: Offline Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 Just now, Debp said: Does your friend earn enough money to support both of them? Apparently his mental illness affects his ability to work? Your friend is so desperate to marry, she is not reasoning things out it seems. She told me he has a mental illness but she wants him to come off the medication. She works full time and has a good job.Maybe she wants to take care of him but that is not a good reason for marrying. I agree. She is impulsive. In June 2018 she was wanting to be friends with my brother on Facebook and thought he would be suitable to marry. She will marry anyone it seems. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts