emma01 Posted August 13, 2018 Group: Newbie Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 1 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/13/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted August 13, 2018 Hello, I am a 17 year old girl and am looking for advice on how to repair my once very strong relationship with God. Here is a bit of backstory on how I got lost: It happened at the start of the summer- around June. I stopped praying every night. I can't tell you why other than I have been through a rough self-esteem patch and I just didn't feel worthy enough to pray. I felt like I didn't matter in God's list of priorities. It didn't stop there- I stopped going to Mass, making excuses when my family asked me too. My only true reason was that I was scared of members of the congregation looking at me and judging me as my self-esteem fell lower and lower. And suddenly, come the end of July I was a shell of who I used to be. I was so depressed and anxious and self-conscious. I feared going out with my family in case members of the public saw me as ugly. I was sad and angry and broken. By this point, two weeks ago, I had completely turned away from God and had even started admiring pagan religions and their myths and legends! And I just got sadder and more depressed than I ever was. I've always had obsessive thoughts but they began to take over my life and I couldn't even think about school or the results of my exams which are coming up soon. It was just yesterday when I realised that I have slipped down a dangerous depressive path all because I slipped away from God. When I had Him I was much happier. I had less anxiety and stress with God always by my side. And since I (unintentionally but still) rejected God I have been so sad and nothing like my usual self. I feel like I need to have God in my life and accept Him. So, I have tried praying again-which has began to sooth me. I have asked for forgiveness and have went to the Oratory where I said a few decades of the Rosary and lit a few candles. But I want to recreate that strong relationship I once had with God. I feel like God is the only path to make me truly happy and myself and to get rid of all my anxiety. Please, if you could, give me a list of how to improve my relationship with God so I can start school in September with God by my side once again to tackle my last year before university as a team once more. I don't want to be the rocky ground any more- I want to be the good soil and accept God's Word and Teachings. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GandalfTheWise Posted August 17, 2018 Group: Royal Member Followers: 24 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,459 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 2,377 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/23/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted August 17, 2018 Hi Emma, None of us can make ourselves worthy enough to approach God. It is His reaching out to us and the atoning work of Jesus that even makes a relationship possible. It is not that we try to clean ourselves up and become presentable to God. It is that He forgives us and then over time changes, molds, and transforms us into the person He intends for us to be. You (as like each of us) is a unique work of art of and treasure of the Almighty. God intends for you to become a special person that reflects His glory. It is His working in us that changes us. He sees you both as you are right now as well as the person He created you to become. He does not see you as you are now to scorn and reject you, but rather as where to begin changing you into the person He created you to become. Our walk with God really begins when we each individually admit to Him that we cannot do it on our own. It is when we confess we have nothing to bring Him in our own strength and efforts, but that we need His help. This is when we invite Him into our hearts and lives and just receive His forgiveness and grace and empowering. This is something that goes far beyond words, rituals, and activities that we might do. It is something that happens deep inside when we surrender ourselves to the Almighty Creator of everything and He puts his Spirit inside of us to change us and to commune with Him. We each need to learn how God created us to walk with Him. We are each different. How we most naturally, comfortably, and fruitfully do things such as prayer, Bible reading, devotions, ministry, fellowship, and other spiritual disciplines will be different from others. We need to learn how those things are best done as the person God created us to be. Some of us are morning people; some late at night people. Some of us need regular routine; others variety. Some pray best sitting outside, or taking a walk, or sitting in a plain quiet room. Some people like having set forms (perhaps songs, liturgies, or written prayers) as a basis for their quiet times. Others like to just extemporaneously talk to God in their own words like to a friend. The Bible (in Galatians 5:22-23) includes joy and peace as part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Fruit is not something we make ourselves do; it is something that naturally flowers and blooms as we spiritually grow. It is God's Spirit working inside of us that brings it about. This type of fruit is a deep abiding thing that is rooted deep within us and does not depend on the circumstances around us. In chapters 3 and 4 of the gospel of John, Jesus talks about what a new spiritual life is like. In chapter 3 (talking to Nicodemus), he likens it to a birth. In the same way we were physically born, we can also be spiritually born. In chapter 4 (talking to the woman at the well), in verse 14, Jesus talks about this new life being something that will spring up inside like a fountain of water. Deep rooted joy, peace, and contentment are ultimately something that grows in our life and become a part of us flowing naturally in our lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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