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Dumb Criminals Stories

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In New Jersey a guy went in to rob a bank.  :ph34r: He handed the teller a note that said "Give me all the money!" He suddenly grabbed the note back and told the teller he wanted to open an account.   A customer service rep started to help him but found he had no ID.   So another employee started to help him.  Meanwhile, the teller told the customer service rep about the note.  After that the man was escorted out of the bank.  By the time the police and security arrived, the man was nowhere to be found.

 

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My favorite dumb criminal story is about a guy who stole a car, got chased by cops. He eventually ran out of road in the desert here and got the car stuck. So he jumped out of the car to run away.... and jumped right into a big patch of cactus. Gotta love it. 

Another one was in a car being chased by cops. So he decided to drive into a parking lot in the hopes of escaping pursuit. He did indeed escape pursuit because he drove into the parking lot of the police station, where some cops were there waiting for him. 

There is video out this week on a car chase that ended near a field. One person took off into the field. A herd of cows followed the person. At one point, the helicopter chasing the criminal was heard to tell the cops on the ground "just look for the cows and you will find him." Its hysterical. 

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In the Back of Guns and Ammo there used to be a line up of the latest dumb crooks. One I remember was the guy who stole a car and ran out of gas. He thumbed a lift. The man that picked him up owned the stolen car.

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A guy got released from jail.  He was wearing an ankle bracelet to let the police know of his whereabouts.   He then proceeded to do five burglaries!  Of course, he's back in jail.   Maybe he wanted to go back?

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A couple of would-be robbers went into a Chicago restaurant and demanded food!   One guy said, "I have a gun, I will kill you!"

The restaurant owner, concerned for his customers, told the men to come back in an hour.    They did...this time also demanding $100.   The restaurant owner told them he had to get his wife's checkbook, he'd be back.   This gave him time to call the police.

The two men were arrested.   Btw, the gun was a squirt gun.

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Gotta love this one...

A trio of drug criminals thought it was their lucky day.   They broke into a home in Florida and found 3 jars of cocaine.   They went home and snorted the stuff.  Afterwards they found out the jars were actually urns....and the "cocaine" was actually the cremated remains of the victim's husband and two dogs!

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Another Florida story...

When a guy's robbery of a Lowe's Home Improvement Store went awry, he fled across the street and jumped a fence.   The trouble was he jumped right into a nudist colony!   Being the only one with clothes on, he was easily spotted by police.

Edited by Debp
Corrected spelling of awry

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A lady in Canada was hysterical...her jewelry and electronics were gone, a window into her home was smashed.   The police officer that arrived was of Indian ancestry.  The lady's French-speaking father then called.  She proceeded to tell him in French that it was all a scam to get the insurance money!  What she didn't realize was the police officer spoke six languages including French!

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I heard a guy wrote a note saying all your money in a bag and then get down on the floor and don't get up or I will shoot you he left with the money... it was written on the back of his check deposit slip :o 

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A guy in Florida tossed a Molatov Cocktail towards the roof of his neighbor's trailer home....just as the wind shifted, and sent the embers flying on to his own trailer home!   Luckily he was arrested as he didn't have a home anymore.

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