The Grave, Visit or Not ?

[Neighbor]

2 hours ago, Debp said:

I don't feel obligated to visit the gravesite of my dad but in the past, friends wanted to drive my mom and me up there.  So we went and mom bought flowers for the grave.   Also, a couple of times we cleaned the grave marker.   Haven't been there for several years at least.

It's a nice cemetery, Forest Lawn, in Glendale, CA.   They have gigantic paintings of the Crucifixion and the Resurrection, stained glass Last Supper, and replicas of famous churches.   It was made by a Christian.   There are several Forest Lawns around Los Angeles.

Hubert Eaton, is the man that transformed a little cemetery into the memorial park  that is Forset lawn. He transformed all of the burial and the funeral industry from just cemeteries - and separate individual funeral homes into mortuaries within memorial parks. He changed cemetery from Marble Orchard  to Memorial Park, green places well cared for with endowment care funds and art and sanctuaries, a place of beauty in cities that is now emulated  over all of the USA and  even  now worldwide.

It is 269 acres of beauty in a city of asphalt and buildings,  Rose Hills Whitier is 2000 acres and the smaller place I toiled at was 120 acres overlooking the harbor. Each are places of greenery by design for the purpose of making a " memorial park" a place for the living to  see light  and not dark to feel warmth of the sun and not cold stones

Edited September 24, 2018 by Neighbor

[Dennis1209]

My personal thoughts are...

Whomever they are, their fates were sealed at their last heartbeat, and are in the hands of the Lord for their eternal fate. To me, visiting a grave site of a loved one is about bringing back memories, a reflection of our lives, how much we mourn and miss them. Personally once again, I can't help but to question myself and wonder if they accepted the gift of Jesus Christ dying on the cross. 

It makes me reflect on myself; the missed opportunities to talk about the Lord when I had a chance to, the permanence of death for the lost and their punishment. As a Christian; my failures, disobedience and silence sharing my faith and giving my testimony of what the Lord Jesus has done for me. It's a harsh and everlasting heartbreaking reminder of the lost opportunities and chances I had that no longer exist, to have shared the love of God.

The grave site is one of a number of things now that motivates me not to be a "closet Christian" anymore. To my everlasting shame and remorse. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to the Bema Seat of Christ, and having to give an account for my actions and inaction's. I'm not going to hear, "well done my true and faithful servant".

It's not easy to fess up on my failures and air dirty laundry. But truth is truth, and one day it will be revealed openly for all to see. This is but a sneak preview of what will be openly revealed. 

[Guest]

Not. I do not feel the necessity at all. Nor gor ashes. The soul is the important part of us.

[Debp]

9 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Hubert Eaton, is the man that transformed a little cemetery into the memorial park  that is Forset lawn. He transformed all of the burial and the funeral industry from just cemeteries - and separate individual funeral homes into mortuaries within memorial parks. He changed cemetery from Marble Orchard  to Memorial Park, green places well cared for with endowment care funds and art and sanctuaries, a place of beauty in cities that is now emulated  over all of the USA and  even  now worldwide.

It is 269 acres of beauty in a city of asphalt and buildings,  Rose Hills Whitier is 2000 acres and the smaller place I toiled at was 120 acres overlooking the harbor. Each are places of greenery by design for the purpose of making a " memorial park" a place for the living to  see light  and not dark to feel warmth of the sun and not cold stones

Yes, Forest Lawn Memorial park is quite beautiful and a spot of nature....all of them are but the one I go to is the one in Glendale, CA.  Besides the gigantic paintings of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection (you sit in a theatre and curtains are unrolled to reveal these massive artworks), there are marble statues of Moses in the bullrushes, Christ the Redeemer and David.   I love the little churches which are replicas...one is of a church where Rudyard Kipling worshipped.  The little courtyard has some of his poems inscribed in stone walls.  I love the large pond and fountain which usually has ducks and a couple of swans.   The Little Mermaid replica statue is also there.  A very pleasant place for the living...

[ayin jade]

3 hours ago, Debp said:

Yes, Forest Lawn Memorial park is quite beautiful and a spot of nature....all of them are but the one I go to is the one in Glendale, CA.  Besides the gigantic paintings of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection (you sit in a theatre and curtains are unrolled to reveal these massive artworks), there are marble statues of Moses in the bullrushes, Christ the Redeemer and David.   I love the little churches which are replicas...one is of a church where Rudyard Kipling worshipped.  The little courtyard has some of his poems inscribed in stone walls.  I love the large pond and fountain which usually has ducks and a couple of swans.   The Little Mermaid replica statue is also there.  A very pleasant place for the living...

Kipling. My favorite author. I am pleased that he seems to be a believer too. Your post made me smile.

[B3L13v3R]

14 hours ago, Dennis1209 said:

The grave site is one of a number of things now that motivates me not to be a "closet Christian" anymore.

Amen! The candles now out from under the bushel and shining!
Luke 11:33  No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light.
It's never too late to get out and get started and let His Light shine! Particularly in this lost generation!
Realizing our lost opportunities is good, when it pricks our conscience to now stand up and make a difference for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

14 hours ago, Dennis1209 said:

...Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to the Bema Seat of Christ, and having to give an account for my actions and inaction's. I'm not going to hear, "well done my true and faithful servant".

With repentance comes real forgiveness from God. Now that your "out from under the bushel" on the foundation of Christ and looking to see Him glorified, move on with the gold, silver and precious stones! With your change in heart, and continuing on His course, you will not hear that from God!
Let it be your prayer, as it often has been mine, to not be a part of the wood, hay, and stubble any longer!

1 Corinthians 3:11-13  For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.  (12)  Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;  (13)  Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is.

Dennis, although I do not know, I would "guess" you had been praying for these lost, and now deceased, family members, friends? If so, you have no way of knowing how God may have answered those prayers through others!

Years ago, I worked at a Christian homeless shelter. A very disturbed man that had his jaw wired shut from a gang beating showed up after he left the hospital. He stayed for a few weeks and recovered, and moved on.
The next time I saw him was on the news, turns out he was a regular Bonnie and Clyde of sorts, as he had taken a car at gunpoint, forced the driver to drive while shooting at police who were in pursuit. While no one had been killed in that episode, it turns out he had killed a dozen or more people in the past. Capital punishment by injection was the jury's verdict. (Something I believe in.) On the day he was heading out to be executed, I did find myself asking if I had shared Christ and His gospel with him while at the shelter. I had, and felt some relief in a sense. His last words, per the news, were "Goodbye world."

I would add to all Christians here too, a funeral is a place to prayerfully and politely express not only our condolences, but to share the Gospel with the living, whether it be one, or many. Even if we felt the one who died may not have known Christ.
I've had several opportunities to stand outside of the funeral parlor while folks are exiting, and prayerfully pass along Gospel tracts upon their leaving. Generally very few refuse.

Death is such a final thing, gets folks thinking on their own temporariness on this side of life, wondering if there's anything more when their not Born Again, and of course, we all know, there is! And Heaven or Hell are the only two eternal destinies. For the 1.2 billion in the RCC that believe in Purgatory, be warned, there is no such place.

I've got no problem with folks going to the graveyard for a visit, tidying up the place with some reflection on times past as others mentioned.

However if their looking into any kind of ancestral worship, (idols) prayers to the dead, (necromancy) or soaking on a grave for any kind of anointing, (heresy) this would be sinfully wrong against God.

I would add the graveyard is another place where one can politely share the Gospel, or just quietly pass along a Christian tract to those visiting. I've done this a number of times.
I've also enjoyed reaching out to grave diggers a few times with the Gospel, as there are very few people want to talk to them!

[Neighbor]

17 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

Not. I do not feel the necessity at all. Nor gor ashes. The soul is the important part of us.

And yet God created for you and for me a body a body of flesh to dwell within. Once that body has run it's course having served it's purpose it is not of great import what happens to it as far as what happens to the soul and a new spiritual body to come. BUT there is good purpose in stopping to acknowledge God, to give thanks for the blessing of having known another soul within a body  of flesh.

It is important to remember that flesh even as Christ Jesus has  encouraged  each saint to do when gathered with other saint as a memorial to Him.  The wafer is not taken in memory of His soul, it is in memory of Him, his sacrifice made in the flesh of man.  The wine taken in memorial of Him and His sacrifice of life in the flesh not his soul, it is his blood of his body that was shed that each of the saints called to repentance through the Holy Spirit may lived eternally with God. The bread is taken in remembrance of His bones, not his soul, broken in His suffering for us.

The visiting of a grave of the body  of a loved one is done as memorial of the flesh that loved and sacrificed and bled that I might have a loving mother a loving father a sibling or a friend that shared of life and scarificed for me or along with me. 

It is a good thing that the body's place of rest makes for such a memorial. 

I visit many graves in my mind's eye. I see my old coworker buddy as I visualze his tomb. I remember an old mentor as I visualize his niche, I remember a fun good natured boss as I visualize in my mind his burial grave beside his brilliant wife. I see even a lighthouse at the sea where my parents are placed and I am glad to have had the privilege of their guidance and companionship in my life.

I may not even physically go visit a grave, but I go in my mind's eye often as is. It is a great comfort to me to know they were not just trashed their lives dismissed as not being of any value, for God created them to bloom for a time as beautiful as any flower blooms. The flower does not bloom so that I can dismiss it's beauty when it fades and is gone. It blooms so that I can  have joy and see hope in life and know God creates that which is good.

At a memorial park where many are placed after withering onto death there is much life much that is warm in physical beauty and in fond memory, with appreciation  to God for it all.

Edited September 25, 2018 by Neighbor

[Guest 1sheep]

I went to the cemetary to keep my loved ones burial place neat and tidy. I left flowers. One time when I was yet to follow Christ completely ( I didnt fill my spirit and mind with the word) I did as a pagan and went to their graves and had a beer. I didnt know any better. At the time I felt it comforted me when in fact Im blessed that I didnt get caught or even arrested for driving under the influence!!!   I havent been to my loved ones burial plots in years now. I like Yown think it is a personal conscious thing. 

Recently I moved to the bible belt. Yes, I am experiencing cultural shock. Lol..... Right next to some churches that are within residential neighborhoods you will find a cemetary!!!! I find that rather odd knowing what we know from scripture. It is just the bones left. But then again I am not a person who thinks one has to be buried in a casket. Much land is used . I think it more sensible to be cremated and save the land for the living. God can gather me up anyway I am when the time comes. I dont judge others for being buried in caskets or burying their loved ones in caskets. . Imagine not doing so though.... Remember those caskets floating down the streets in New Orleans?  That was kinda creepy!  Lest we not forget how expensive it is to go through all the expense of a " traditional"  burial. If Christ hasnt come for his saints when I die; I have instructed my kids to donate my body to science and when they get my remains back cremated to go somewhere and celebrate my life while they spend money on a vacation they will enjoy and comfort them since I am gone. There again; these are all actions or non actions of our own conscious. God is silent as to what is done with our bodies when we die. 

[Neighbor]

as a side note; government intrusion into the funeral industry as a whole has resulted in a vast change in the service industry over the past nearly fifty years that is not good for consumers, nor for employees and individual ownership businesses that are Funeral Homes and Cemeteries.

 The end result of a long process that started out in southern California has become one very large  publicly traded corporation that owns cemeteries, funeral homes, casket manufacturers, vault companies, and funeral chemical and equipment supply companies. The locally owned service minded nonprofit cemetery and the local funeral director are pretty much a thing of the past.

Cost to end users ( families of the deceased have risen to embarrassing levels ( embarrassing to those that used to be in th eindustry  for providing service to people), there really is little competition now. Cemeteries have been purchased to primarily gain access to the substantial amount of  cash assets  in endowment an perpetual care funds at cemeteries.

The process all started way back when the industry was attacked by a book writer and then federal government agency the FTC started making regulations that forced many small local businesses to go broke trying to comply. Compliance cost  made us more than double our own service fees. small local operators just began selling to one person that had an idea of capturing all the firms in the one area. That grew and grew with three larger corporations forming and one now dominating not only in the USA bit around much of the world that has funeral service industry and cemeteries with endowment care funds.

It is quite possible to have a respectful and useful remembrance and a place of honoring an individual loved, without having to use a cemetery  or a funeral home owned by the new huge funeral industry corporations. But if one has the means and wants to have a more traditional USA style funeral  from the recent past that too can be done- at a pretty steep cost.

 

 

Edited September 26, 2018 by Neighbor

[JTC]

I see nothing wrong in visiting a grave site especially if it's close by. Even so, what I've noticed is the grave gets visited more often in the first 5 or so yrs after the person dies. After that it seems loved ones stop going. I think in the first 5 yrs visiting the grave may help deal with the grief but after that visiting the grave may just bring the grief back. I think that's why visits taper off and finally end.