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I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

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2 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

 Mankind will always let you down. It’s a lesson we need to learn. You can only trust man to the degree Christ has been form in that individual. For it is Christ in the believer that is trustworthy. But the lesson is a hard and painful one to learn, but it is a sign of growning. Prayers for you in your struggles as Christ is formed in you. 

Much love in Christ, Not me 

Edited by Not me
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5 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

Hi, 

May God lead you to the places He will have you to serve him. Amen.

I do know the experience of enthusiasm, of trying to be involved, and of what seems like rejection after rejection. I have been led  by the Holy Spirit through some hard tribulations to travel great distances at huge personal expense to end up at a local body of Christ where my talent is then used within my spiritual gift of Helps. That has occurred more than once more than twice.

What has not happened is I have not become a leader of others as in pastoring, I have not become an elder, I have rejected the request to be a deacon because I find I am to serve to help, to quietly as I call it- push on a rope until someone is led to pull on the rope.

The person pulling is the one that gets  the local pat on the back. And that is fine great, for then I can continue to push on yet another rope as led by God. There are so many of us that push on the rope so to speak, many are in small ministries and missions associated with the church body, and are so busy one never really sees them and what they do. They may never see you either unless YOU personally reach deeply into the corners of the churches finding the rooms of activity and seek out what the activity is and ask; hey what are you about what is the lead of God upon you here? 

Start doing that, asking of others, and you will eventually be pulled into a place of service that will fill your days and satisfy your own mission. Be prepared though to travel - God may not bring it to you on a silver platter, you will more than likely be moving around. It will make you grow in faith, embrace it is my suggestion.

Edited by Neighbor
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The Christian life is one of trials, adversities and obstacles set by an arch enemy.  This you have to firmly understand this  and reading the book of Ephesians would confirm that, plus it will  give you guidelines to overcome and stay the course.  I have learnt over the years that difficulties and trials that come my way are to strengthen my faith as the enemy sends the darts to do the opposite, that is to throw up your hands and give in.

Get a hold of "Pilgrims Progress" by John Bunyan and have a read of this masterpiece of inspirational writing that I think would show the enemies we face and how subtle they appear, but also the will and determination to continue the journey to serve the one and only true God, Jesus Christ.  Press on sister and you would look back at this and encourage someone in the future.  

Edited by warrior12
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9 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

Thank you!

Today with your post as my immediate impetus I sat and chatted with my own elder  a former boss and said; I am dead in my service I need to have some way to serve again. Can't do this and this and this again, because my body  is so beat up, but I will even volunteer to  just file stuff if it will be of service. What might I do? 

Turns out there is an issue, a need in area of some awareness, history, and talent of mine that needs attending. I may be able to work at the issue  at my  own schedule. It won't beat up my body and willl serve my Lord at the local body of Christ. So thanks!Thanks for getting me going by making me aware of your own plight.

May God lead you to a solution to yours. Maybe it is easier to resolve than either of us have thought our own plights might be - might be just crash on in and say here I am, what am I to be allowed to do? I want to be in service here. If the answer is nothing then maybe it is time move on and ask elsewhere.

May God bless.

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16 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

What should you do?   First you must forgive them.   Forgiveness will soften your heart towards them and help prevent bitterness.   Then pray to the Lord to see what He would have you to do in the way of ministry.

Ministry can be as simple as looking for an elderly or disabled person to help with little things like shopping.   Or perhaps look for someone with no family and spend a little time with them, have a cup of tea and talk for awhile.   Of course, these times will lead to you having conversations about the Lord.   But the very act of helping and caring for others in need will be of great blessing to you.

p.s.  Check my topic Spiritual Thoughts in General Discussion...you might find a couple of posts there that will help you.

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21 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I was so enthusiastic. But those at church have crushed my dreams. I wanted to be involved but they shut me out. 

Now i have withdrawn a lot of myself. No confrontations, just quiet withdrawal. I am so angry inside but keep a lid on it.

My entire faith in Christ is threatening to fail. I am in turmoil. I pray, i read my bible but my attention is drawn to other things. The energy has gone. 

What should i do? I cannot speak to the vicar or any of them at church. They all let me down and are part of the problem.  

Run. God is calling you out of the corrupt episcopalian institution. You will meet a genuine follower of Christ who will encourage you to fellowship with those who edify one another in love and in the truth of God's word without all the pagan trappings that quench these. 

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1 hour ago, Michael37 said:

Run. God is calling you out of the corrupt episcopalian institution. You will meet a genuine follower of Christ who will encourage you to fellowship with those who edify one another in love and in the truth of God's word without all the pagan trappings that quench these. 

Now i am excited! All things happen for the good for those of us who love Jesus. I want to know when where and what i can do His work in my own little way.

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18 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I want to know when where and what i can do His work in my own little way.

I don't know about  demanding my own little way. Might not work. Seems to me the mightiest are to become the humblest of servants. Even the apostles were chastised in that area. Jesus who is God came as the humble servant. At the Last Supper He deliberately took the role of the lowest servant and washed the feet of all the others. 

Jesus  served the will of His Father. He had power to call upon thousands of angels, but he instead suffered much degradation and became the Lord of our shame.

My own experience in service to my Lord and savior Jesus includes having been called to make sure the toilets are clean. Really? I thought well that is humbling, augh very humbling in fact; but okay then, I am going to try to rebuild everyone of them, make them places of sanitary beauty. Once started many then joined and the local body had many that labored -on the restrooms, some 12 restrooms and over 46 toilets. Just an example of how the Holy Spirit may lead. That one knocked out of me a lot of what was pride and personal sense of  what my value should be in service to my Lord.

May God lead you and may you come to enjoy the service at the tasks He will have you to do, regardless of what they may be.

 

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