Is Wonderful Marriage Actually Possible?

[Archangel Thyos]

14 minutes ago, PinkBelt said:

As an aside, you're 30 and been chasing women for 30 years? Did you come out of your mother with breath spray and a Barry White album?

I'm a beast

[Archangel Thyos]

10 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

Hope that helps. Do not close your heart and be cynical. I did not find love until my 50s.

This is helpful.

[Archangel Thyos]

5 hours ago, Still Alive said:

My second just crossed the 20 year mark. It is "heaven on earth".

I'm glad you said that.

[other one]

my wife and I have been married for 48 years and I love her more now than when we got married and I know she feels the same....    we've raised two good kids and they are raising two grandkids that are ok so far....    I don't know if you'd call it a fairytale but we are both very happy and content with each other...

From my 70+ years of watching others and what we experienced I would say that if a man treats his wife the way Jesus treated the church and the wife respected and was the help meet she was intended to be it all is good.....    if either does not do their part it can't work...….   and you can't force the other to do their job in it.....       there is no me   me   me   in a happy marriage. 

[Archangel Thyos]

13 minutes ago, Cobalt1959 said:

If you expect a fairy tale, you are going to be disappointed.

I can feel god's presence these days. Its quite fairy-tale esque. That tells me its possible. Besides,

Mark 10:15

Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

[John Robinson]

My wife and I have been married forty-five years plus, and we're as different as steaks and hot dogs. But it doesn't matter; we complete each other. Or as Dr. James Dobson put it, "if two of you are the same, of you is superfluous."

And the best part? Through incredibly bad times and insanely good ones, Jesus has been our focus. 

[Behold]

20 hours ago, Cobalt1959 said:

If you expect a fairy tale, you are going to be disappointed.  Good marriages do not just happen, they have to be maintained, by both people, every single day.  I've had two failed marriages.  Both of the first ones decided they didn't want to be married anymore, for whatever reasons of their own, but I wasn't fun to be married to.  My 3rd wife and I have been married for 17 years, and it still feels like we are in that just-started-dating, can't-wait-to-see-each-other romantic phase.  It's been like that the entire time.  I don't have any magical tips because I can't completely put my finger on why this one worked when the others didn't, but one of the things my wife said to me in the first weeks we were dating was, "Your spouse has to be your Best Friend."  I thought it was kind of a sappy sentiment at the time, but I learned to understand what she meant.  We make each of our lives better in every way.  I don't know how else to explain it.

 

The Russians say that you marry happily, if you marry  your "2nd half".

I like this idea, as its a perfect idea of marriage,  because what they are essentially saying is that you have found the one who "completes you",...... = and that is very profound.

God, in His infinite wisdom, knows you better then you know you, and He understands that when He took Eve out of Adam, He was creating a situation where Adam had a missing part of himself.... And this part, was/is EVE.

Eve completed Adam.   Eve is Adam's "2nd half"..... Eve was taken from the area that is right next to Adam's heart and is the rib, and the ribs protect the HEART...... so, this is not just symbolic.

When i council eager believers regarding marriage and finding that "one", i tell them that first and foremost they both must build their lives and their marriage on the foundation of DAILY serving and living for the Lord Jesus The Christ, as their "main thing".

And one of the reasons that this is so important, is because if this is the case, then they have found that in both cases their main love in life, their main reason for living, is the same, and it means so much to have the main part of your existence as a commonality with your 2nd half.

You've heard that joke ????    "Opposites attract then later opposites attack"?........ Well, thats a fact 

1,) "Well , what do you both have in common".....  "we both have as our main purpose in life the SAME THING" = bingo..... As people who dont have what they personally live for "in common" are going to make a very unhappy marriage, right until it ends.

2.) And then, i tell the searcher this.    "When you find someone who thinks you are funny, and who enjoys listening to you talk."....= hold on to that one for a while., because marriage means you are going to have to listen to the other person talk and whine and so forth for the rest of your life.  So, if you dont enjoy this about them, then do not marry them......move on.

3.) And i tell them, that you never marry someone if you think they are stupid/dumb.   As you will come to dislike them because of this, and there is no remedy for this situation.  Listen,   If you think you can "be in love" with someone you constantly notice this about, then you are a life-newbie, and you are living in a dream world and you need to wake up.

"Well, God will give me the grace to be able to stand them, even tho i think they are stupid"..... = No He wont, but He will give you the wisdom to realize what im telling you if you are the one reading this who is looking for your 2nd half.    And yes, it is possible for God's grace to help you stand anything, but is that a good reason to try anything?........c'mon.   Listen, faith is not jumping off of the top of a sky scraper and asking God to build you some wings on the way down....ok?.......

4.) Also, You do not want to spend the rest of your life living next to a person while in your mind you are always thinking....>"OMG, will they ever shut up"."Why do they never shut up". "I cant STAND to hear them TALK" !!!!!

See, This really matters a lot more then if he has good pecs and great hair, or if she is curvy and is a master with a mirror and  makeup, takes a great selfie,   and also knows how to grill a steak and make a great Souffle.

5.) And the 2nd to  last thing i tell them, among other things that ive not shared here, such as "money problems are extreme marriage problems".... is that "Sex is not love".    "Sex, is NOT love".....And many who are young and many others who are older but young minded, never figured this out.  So, they got "married in a fever", and the fever cooled off, and then one day they are looking at a stranger they married, because they made the mistake of thinking that sex IS love, and they never really knew the person in REAL.

And of course with all due respect to all the former Christian Virgins here, who all waited till their wedding night to "consummate" .......plz forgive me for knowing that 99.8 % of all believers didnt do that. =  So, i speak frankly, because i live in the real world with real people, who, tho they are believers, are all  certainly still human.

Christianity did not remove your humanity, it only allowed you eternal access to the One who sent His Son just for you.

6.)... 'How do i keep my marriage happy"............. A.) Find out , both of you, what your mate likes and what they hate.         B.)  ONLY Do what they like.                C.) Dont do what they hate.      (Final answer).

 

 

Edited September 28, 2018 by Behold

[Willa]

A good marriage is God centered, just as a true Christian's life revolves around God.  We deny our selfishness and live to please God.  He in turn instructs us to please our spouses.  It is a giving, caring relationship which often includes dying to our own wishes for the good of our best friend.  A good marriage takes work.  It requires two people to compliment each other instead of competing, having differing strengths and abilities.  Someone said that way your kids get one good parent between the two of you.  lol. It is teamwork, as stated.  We choose to love, and love includes commitment to each other.  We choose to commit.  

If all the women were as described, why did you marry them?  God tells us to only marry Christians if we are Christians.  The one woman who claimed to be a Christian was not fully committed to God or she would not have left Him.  True Christians have surrendered to God for better or for worse, as we are to also do in a marriage.  Marriage is to reflect a relationship with God.  

Eph 5:22  AMP Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. Eph 5:23  For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. Eph 5:24  As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her,  Eph 5:26  So that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, Eph 5:27  That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless].

Eph 5:28  Even so husbands should love their wives as [being in a sense] their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. Eph 5:29  For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and carefully protects and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, Eph 5:30  Because we are members (parts) of His body.

Eph 5:31  For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. [Gen 2:24]

Eph 5:32  This mystery is very great, but I speak concerning [the relation of] Christ and the church.

This is a recipe for a healthy, fulfilled life and marriage. But life itself is like a bed of roses--very thorny and full of hard times and trials.  If a couple prays together aloud daily they meet those trials in the strength and wisdom of the Lord.  Overcoming the hard times together is actually strengthening to a marriage.  

 

[other one]

[Neighbor]

2 hours ago, Willa said:

A good marriage is God centered, just as a true Christian's life revolves around God.  

Hi, Beg to differ, a good marriage takes each away from total devotion to God. For no one can serve two masters at the same time.

Plus many a really great marriage is between  non Christians, people who place their wellbeing  other than with Christ Jesus. I think being a Christian can make being a great mate a little more difficult. This thought comes from from one that was married 48 years, and now 2.

---------------

 ..."I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.  But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.  Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Edited September 27, 2018 by Neighbor