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yaussyp

Am I cursed/hexed?

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Just now, LearningToLetGo said:

Is that sarcasm I smell? ;)

Were you asking for help, or were you asking for God to do it for you? I don't know. Only you can answer that. 

I have asked God "What am I supposed to do?" or "What to I do?" many many times. I have also asked him to do it for me. Either one would be fine.

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3 minutes ago, LearningToLetGo said:

I see. Try asking God for the courage to do what you already know you need to do.

Well, I have no clue what I need to do

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3 minutes ago, yaussyp said:

Well, I have no clue what I need to do

If in doubt, eat a good meal, take a hot shower, and get a good night's sleep. Pray for courage, even though you don't know what you will do. You'll need the courage no matter what happens. That I can guarantee.

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Life is not easy.  I have felt that way before--as if I'm cursed or unloved by God, even though I knew it wouldn't be true.  I shared some of your experiences, like every woman I like would found a lover soon after I met them, while I was too hesitance to "jump in" because I don't want to mess my life up.  I seem to fail on little things that others would have no problem accomplishing, etc.  The only relationship I had, I partly threw it away because I wanted my own family, not an unmarried, unstable, and battered single mom.  And I regretted my choice for years afterwards.

But we know that God is all-knowing, all-loving, and the most faithful towards us.  He knows what's best for us, even if it means for us to suffer losses after losses.  The little faith that remained in us wanted to trust in Him fully despite all the misfortunes, and so we should.  How did Job turn out at the end?  His story isn't a fairy tale.  We all have our struggles and battles to fight, but He appreciates us when we suffer for Him and make the choice to love Him despite everything.  

Don't give up, knowing even if you don't get what you want in this life, there's a glorious eternity that is far longer than this life.  Suffering is light when compared to His glory of exceeding weight.  Hang in there.  We can't be cursed especially when we're graciously saved.

 

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4 hours ago, yaussyp said:

It's just unbelievable how nothing can ever work out for me, even the smallest things. I can never keep friends, every time someone tries to be my friend, they start having these weird spiritual attacks when they get near me (I can see physical manifestations like eyes turning red, weird spasms/jerks, ect.) and before long I never hear from them again. I can't have a relationship because every woman God tries to put in my life gets attacked by Satan and/or instantly meets another guy. Even stupid little things, like I was trying to buy a car from someone recently, and the guy suddenly just hangs up on me and won't answer ever again. Find out 2 weeks later it was sold to someone else. The same stuff happens with anyone who tries to help me get deliverance or break this curse. They always have strange circumstances come up, like a relative will get deathly ill, they suddenly get extremely busy, or they just start ignoring me for no apparent reason. I feel like Satan hovers over me for the sole purpose of tormenting me in these ways just to spite me. I have no clue why or what I did. It happens every time. The latest one was I was trying to get deliverance at a church, and these are real people of God, but Satan got in their heads too. Convinced them that I just need to read the bible (like I never have before) and that I need to stop "worshiping other gods" (I never have!). It's driving me crazy to the point of wanting to kill myself. It just never ends. How do you break a curse that protects itself from being broken??

There can definitely be patterns in our lives that have various causes.  Sometimes they are most definitely spiritual; sometimes not; and sometimes a combination of things.  Sometimes we feel like we become magnets for things and sometimes we have for various reasons.   We need God's guidance and wisdom for how to appropriately deal with each of those things.

I've seen long term patterns like these change and vanish in my life in different ways.   Here are a few of them.  

I'd spent much of my life being run over by people (especially professionally).  In spite of often, being the most competent one in the room, I'd often be ignored.  I'd watch things fall apart and then eventually see people come back to my view.   As I found out later, most of that was self-inflicted.  I had a couple lies buried deep within my heart ("you're not a real man" and "you don't know what you are doing") that frankly were attacks of the enemy on me from the time I was a child.  In hindsight, I was probably unconsciously acting like I was uncertain and tentative and unintentionally encouraging people to question me.   At one point in my life, God simply shined His light in my heart, I saw those things as lies, and literally overnight my behavior changed.  Within a few weeks, my wife and daughters were wondering what happened.  I found at work (and in life in general) that I simply became more assertive and confident without even trying.  Those lies had kept me in bondage for decades.

I had a few phobias and compulsive behaviors in my life.  One Sunday, I was at a typical morning service with a guest speaker.  After the service, I just knew I was supposed to go forward for prayer (though I had no idea for what).  He prayed briefly for me (with a relatively nondescript prayer that I cannot remember).  I just remember something changed inside and those things simply vanished.  This was an instant and unexpected healing of a sort that gave me a freedom I hadn't expected.

One company I worked for just simply had a bad atmosphere about it with a lot of problems.  The facility was next to a small woods with a little creek so I'd often take my lunch outside on nice days.  One day during lunch, I just simply felt a sense I was supposed to not just pray for improvement but to actively rebuke a spiritual presence of some type.      In one "okay God I'll do it but boy do I feel stupid" part of this, I prayed over the dumpsters.  Over the next few months, tangible changes started occurring and I found myself in the middle of a few of them.  One thing was that I did some analysis on one assembly line which led to a maintenance tech adjusting one part by one hundredth of an inch that completely changed how that line ran.  Our quality guy came up to me a month later and mentioned what a change had occurred.  He casually mentioned that the recycling company now only had to come empty the dumpsters once every couple weeks.  It had been to the point where there was so much production scrap that the dumpsters were being filled every 2 to 3 days.   There were also other things that simply changed with the general culture in some places.   It's not like it became a dream place by any stretch of the imagination, but there was definitely something spiritual going on that lifted and it felt different when I came to work.

There've been times in my life where I needed others' prayers, intercession, and spiritual warfare.  There've been times God did healing that changed me.  There've been times I've actively prayed and taken spiritual authority over things and seen them change.   The key in all of this is following God's guidance as to what is needed and what His timing is.

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6 hours ago, yaussyp said:

It's just unbelievable how nothing can ever work out for me, even the smallest things. I can never keep friends, every time someone tries to be my friend, they start having these weird spiritual attacks when they get near me (I can see physical manifestations like eyes turning red, weird spasms/jerks, ect.) and before long I never hear from them again. I can't have a relationship because every woman God tries to put in my life gets attacked by Satan and/or instantly meets another guy. Even stupid little things, like I was trying to buy a car from someone recently, and the guy suddenly just hangs up on me and won't answer ever again. Find out 2 weeks later it was sold to someone else. The same stuff happens with anyone who tries to help me get deliverance or break this curse. They always have strange circumstances come up, like a relative will get deathly ill, they suddenly get extremely busy, or they just start ignoring me for no apparent reason. I feel like Satan hovers over me for the sole purpose of tormenting me in these ways just to spite me. I have no clue why or what I did. It happens every time. The latest one was I was trying to get deliverance at a church, and these are real people of God, but Satan got in their heads too. Convinced them that I just need to read the bible (like I never have before) and that I need to stop "worshiping other gods" (I never have!). It's driving me crazy to the point of wanting to kill myself. It just never ends. How do you break a curse that protects itself from being broken??

I know how you feel. At some point I would say welcome in my club. I am having "similar" experience. But even my colleague noticed that. For example one day I was having a very strange feeling. I knew I am under a kind of spiritual pressure which made me almost like paralysed. It happened on a Sunday and couldn't get out of the bed all day. It wasn't a natural tiredness at all. I was like a zombie. The next day I met two of my colleagues in the office (we worked three of us together) and they told me the exact same thing. It wasn't the only time it happened something like this but that was the point when they were telling me it's because of you. We were shocked and I was shocked as well.

I am having very strong spiritual attacks time to time (2-3 times a week at least) when the aura changes around me and whoever try to come close to me gets affected. It started almost 3 years ago when my life turned upside down. Like I got into a whirlwind or sort of...hard to describe it. Eventually I got very isolated from people....but to be honest I don't mind to be "antisocial"and it was my decision somewhere. 

Also, I had the same experience regarding the churches and other Christians when I tried to get help and answers why this happening. The usual answer was that I need to read the bible more often. Pray harder...you have sinned...bla bla bla. The way I see Christians like to think inside the box. Jesus died and was cursed in order to us to be blessed. And when something like this happen they have no answer. 

I am not sure about your situation but talking of mine and trying to give you an answer to why is this happening? Well....first of all I think it's not a curse. Curse is different. Curse is when God so angry with you that He puts a curse on you like He did with Adam and Eve, or Kain and many. 

So if it's not curse so what's then? I would like to bring an example from the Bible. There was a guy whose name was Job. Probably you have read his story. He lost all his children, all his possession and got sick. His so-called friends turned against him, even his wife. Was he cursed by God? No. 

I can't solve your problem out neither you can mine. The only thing I can do is to give you some encouragement. Even if I have to go all through this for reason unknown to me I will do my best to fight and to keep my heart clean until my last breath and won't give up. Nothing last forever. Why is this happening to me?? I don't really know but I don't really care. I will go through no matter what. At some point I do enjoy it. Some people having a nice life, nice family, nice everything. But I wouldn't change with them. During this 3 year I learned a lot and changed a lot in a good way through hardship.

I think the worst thing you can do in your situation if you put all your frustration on God blaming Him. Just stay strong and don't give up. Nothing last forever.

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You can fast and pray together with TB Joshua at the above link that i posted, he shares many blessings !

I am here this morning to encourage you as my son and my daughter in the Lord. Do not worry about what may be standing against you, the God I serve is with you. You will give birth to every promise He has put in your heart and you will become everything that God created you to be.
In Jesus name i pray father Lord
I decree into the life of anyone online right now & those that will
come online later, Every gathering of demon around your house to cover your glory will catch fire Before this month end God will give you a Heart Touching Testimony In Jesus name, quickly type Amen & share to claim it - AMEN

 

 

Edited by R. Hartono

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