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Young Adult Struggles-Friends


PurpleNight

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Being a young adult was always difficult. It's also normal to think you're crazy. I thought I was crazy until I went to collage and learned what true insanity is. I was never insane and neither are 90% of the people. For awhile I answered questions on Yahoo and those are almost all young people. You folks aren't nuts even though you feel that way. Anxiety is normal because teens all want to be the same but we're all slightly different. It's unfortunate that every generation has to learn this for yourselves. Even with the advent of social media each person has to learn "I'm OK". It's also unfortunate that parents and teachers don't help you learn these things. My first boss, after collage was the older man who helped me learn to feel normal. He forced me to prove to myself that I could do whatever was needed. You will get there.

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Its not strange at all. People have busied themselves so much that they have no time for anything but their family and work. In the church the huge majority are families. a lot of the time people have a weird idea that the reason single people don't go to church is because there are no programs for them. I think that a lot of single people really really want community because they don't have much. They want people to hang out with them. They want people to play games with. They want people to play sports with. They want people to eat meals with during the week. The model of the church atm is family/extended family or barely anything. You are not alone.

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22 hours ago, Shadow with a shirt on said:

I experienced what you're going through when my walk with Christ started to increase.  I felt soooo lonely.  So this feeling lead me to go out and attempt to make friends.. my doing this only lead to a knowing that I wasn't ready to engage with others on a "friendly" level..the Holy Spirit had changed my perception.. so I could not relate to ANYONE!..mom, dad, sisters, brothers, not a soul..

I can compare myself to a cake in the oven...I was still "batter" trying to cut slices of myself and give away...I was mush...

The Lord knows what we desire.. and if he isn't first in our heart...the "self" thoughts will be louder than HIS WORD within us...be still and KNOW HE IS GOD ALONE... peace be with you

What do you mean he changed your perception. 

 

And "friendly" 

 

What I got from reading this was...maybe you weren't ( pls don't take offense) uthe best person to be around at the time? 

Is that the point you were trying to make?

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4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

What do you mean he changed your perception. 

 

And "friendly" 

 

What I got from reading this was...maybe you weren't ( pls don't take offense) uthe best person to be around at the time? 

Is that the point you were trying to make?

I am in no position to take offense.  The statement you responded to was a small testimony delivered from love..  pray to the Lord so that he may Grant you the ability to see.  Peace be with you

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Wasted a lot of time and emotions on "friends" in my youth. 

This is me personally. I am not attempting to define what everyone else "should" 

go on... 

IMHO, 'friend' is akin to 'fiduciary' and people are too quick to label mere acquaintances "friends."  

I am a people person... or at least I know how to be... skills that served me well in the limousine business 

and other service industries my entire life.  But as far as investing my self / emotions / etc. I am extremely choosy.

I've had five [friends] my entire life. Two died. Two betrayed me and are no longer worthy of friendship.  

The one remaining is my beloved Bride of 38 years.  

I notice also that people struggle with being alone... ever seeking distraction from (I suppose) being alone with themselves. 

"Friendship"seems to be one of those distractions. 

Lately the "social media" have robbed people of skills for making friends... or maybe it's just cut down on their time to 

practice faking being a friend. 

I like lots of people. I just know better than to make commitments / investments... 

Being a loner can afford one time to deal with the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us hard to get along with (especially with ourselves).

But who thinks that way anymore? 

Self improvement... long term goals... being worthy of another's trust and vice versa... 

 

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6 hours ago, JohnD said:

Wasted a lot of time and emotions on "friends" in my youth. 

This is me personally. I am not attempting to define what everyone else "should" 

go on... 

IMHO, 'friend' is akin to 'fiduciary' and people are too quick to label mere acquaintances "friends."  

I am a people person... or at least I know how to be... skills that served me well in the limousine business 

and other service industries my entire life.  But as far as investing my self / emotions / etc. I am extremely choosy.

I've had five [friends] my entire life. Two died. Two betrayed me and are no longer worthy of friendship.  

The one remaining is my beloved Bride of 38 years.  

I notice also that people struggle with being alone... ever seeking distraction from (I suppose) being alone with themselves. 

"Friendship"seems to be one of those distractions. 

Lately the "social media" have robbed people of skills for making friends... or maybe it's just cut down on their time to 

practice faking being a friend. 

I like lots of people. I just know better than to make commitments / investments... 

Being a loner can afford one time to deal with the quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us hard to get along with (especially with ourselves).

But who thinks that way anymore? 

Self improvement... long term goals... being worthy of another's trust and vice versa... 

 

I am so sorry that has been your experience. Friends are a very very good thing. It's heart breaking to hear that you have had such a bad experience with them.

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On 10/24/2018 at 7:08 AM, TechEnthusiast said:

I am so sorry that has been your experience. Friends are a very very good thing. It's heart breaking to hear that you have had such a bad experience with them.

Eh, no biggy. Yaught me a lot about [people] and how to be as self sufficient as possible. 

Anyone who visits the prayer request section can see I am very reliant on brothers and sisters in the faith... 

but as far as friends... it just the name of a TV show to me. {SMILE} 

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On 10/20/2018 at 9:47 AM, PurpleNight said:

I'm a young adult in usa not even 30. I have met many other people my age also struggling to have friends or socialization really. I am not sure if this is a generational thing or not.
Has anyone else struggled with friends or having socialization growing into adulthood or being in early adulthood?
I know there are circumstances that may be a part of this like tiredness from working or school or children but it seems to be more difficult than it should be. Other's i've talked to has had the same experience of setting time aside to spend with someone and they either say ok and then not put in any effort and then nothing happens or they say no. Its like "let's be friends but with lots of distance?" I know we live in a busy age, but sometimes its nice to hang with someone for a few hours face to face instead of over fb or some other online method. I have heard alot of my generation suffers with anxiety.

i wonder where you live, because most churches i have been to that has a fairly large congregations would almost always have a fair numbers of 20 somethings or 30 somethings.....

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