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I feel very lonely. I got to work today and I was fine. Then when I got up to my post I just sunk in to this utterly depressed sense of loneliness. To point where felt heavy and weighed down in my soul. It so bad that I was thinking of killing myself. I wouldn't but the thought is there.

Mean while there is another part me telling me to stop worrying about that. That I need to let God fix me and trust in him to put people right for me in my path when he feels I'm ready(if that makes any sense.). Its in my head cause I dont really know God and dont know how to talk to him nor does he talk back to me. Yet I'm so conflicted and torn up inside.

I wish it would stop. I really wish God had not made me. I'm sick feeling lonely and sad. I bury my head in games and work and Tv to escape cause other wise it would engulf me completely. All I do is take up space. I'm utterly worthless.

Edited by mrunk1975
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God bless you! This is a great place to begin to interact with people.

Do you attend a local gathering of believers? We all need companionship, especially that of fellow Christians.

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On 10/22/2018 at 2:19 PM, mrunk1975 said:

I feel very lonely. I got to work today and I was fine. Then when I got up to my post I just sunk in to this utterly depressed sense of loneliness. To point where felt heavy and weighed down in my soul. It so bad that I was thinking of killing myself. I wouldn't but the thought is there.

Mean while there is another part me telling me to stop worrying about that. That I need to let God fix me and trust in him to put people right for me in my path when he feels I'm ready(if that makes any sense.). Its in my head cause I dont really know God and dont know how to talk to him nor does he talk back to me. Yet I'm so conflicted and torn up inside.

I wish it would stop. I really wish God had not made me. I'm sick feeling lonely and sad. I bury my head in games and work and Tv to escape cause other wise it would engulf me completely. All I do is take up space. I'm utterly worthless.

Hello mrunk!  You are greatly loved!!!  Our heavenly Father was smiling when He was creating you!  Psalm 139, you were fearfully and wonderfully made!  There is no one in the world like you or will there ever be! You are truly unique and it is the devil that comes to steal your joy and whispers in your ear that you are "worthless".  Jesus came and died for YOU!  You mean so much to Him!  You can stop this lonely feeling first by praising God for all that He has done for you.  Then you should say out loud that the "devil is a liar!"  and you won't listen to his lies anymore!  Start reading your Bible fort this will renew your mind.  Then you should start praying and if you don't know how to pray, follow the Lord's Prayer as an example.  Get up off of your butt and start doing something other than playing video games, watching tv.  Go take a walk, enjoy God's creation.  Find out how you can start to volunteer somewhere.  When you start taking the focus off of yourself and help others, that depression feeling is gone and you will start to feel joy because you are loving on someone else.  Find a church that is biblically sound, where they elevate God and not the pastor who is a fallible man.  Join a bible study group.  There is BSFinternational.com.   That is a bible study that goes on all around the world.  You can find a class near you to start and study the Word of God. 

You can start in the Book of Psalms to help you to praise the Lord in the morning. Rise early, take a few minutes to thank the Lord and then read a Psalm out loud.  May the Spirit of the Lord guide you and show you truth.  May He show you the unfailing love of the Father through Jesus Christ His Son!

 

blessings,

FHG ❤️

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On ‎10‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 8:19 AM, mrunk1975 said:

hI feel very lonely. I got to work today and I was fine. Then when I got up to my post I just sunk in to this utterly depressed sense of loneliness. To point where felt heavy and weighed down in my soul. It so bad that I was thinking of killing myself. I wouldn't but the thought is there.

Mean while there is another part me telling me to stop worrying about that. That I need to let God fix me and trust in him to put people right for me in my path when he feels I'm ready(if that makes any sense.). Its in my head cause I dont really know God and dont know how to talk to him nor does he talk back to me. Yet I'm so conflicted and torn up inside.

I wish it would stop. I really wish God had not made me. I'm sick feeling lonely and sad. I bury my head in games and work and Tv to escape cause other wise it would engulf me completely. All I do is take up space. I'm utterly worthless.

Welcome mrunk 1975.

NO you are not worthless. The Word, who was with God, who created everything  John 1:1-2, and became flesh, John 1:14,  (Jesus Christ), died an horrific death on the cross for mankind and for you! He wants ever man, woman and child to be saved and have an life of eternal happiness in His Kingdom.

Jesus took upon Himself for me and you everything we deserve, and He was completely sinless.

This is what He endured. Jesus was beaten to a pulp before He was crucified. He was so marred by the beating He received He was unrecognisable as a man. The effigy I see hanging on the cross in churches depicts a man who has trickles of blood on his forhead, in his side and where the nails were in his hands and feet.

Isa 52:14, As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:

They plucked His beard from His face and they spat in His face.


Isa 50:6, I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting.

Jesus received 39 lashes. This was in accord with the maximum amount of lashes allowed by Jewish law. The number was based on the theory that 39 was the maximum amount of lashes that a person could endure without dying.

The number is likely to emphasize the torture Jesus endured on the way to the cross.

Lashes were inflicted with a flagrum, which was a whip constructed of leather straps with metal and glass attached to them. The act of whipping prisoners prior to crucifying them was called scouring.

Despite Jesus's crucifixion being accredited to the Jews, crucifixion was not a known punishment of the Jews. It was a Roman punishment. It was this cruel Roman punishment the Jewish Chief Priests and officers and the people cried out that they wanted carried out. Pilot found Jesus innocent, but the Chief priests and the people never let up demanding Jesus be crucified.


John 19:6, When the chief priests therefore and officers saw him, they cried out, saying, Crucify him, crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Take ye him, and crucify him: for I find no fault in him.

Luke 23:20-23, V. 23, Pilate therefore, willing to release Jesus, spake again to them.
21, But they cried, saying, Crucify him, crucify him.
22, And he said unto them the third time, Why, what evil hath he done? I have found no cause of death in him: I will therefore chastise him, and let him go.
23, And they were instant with loud voices, requiring that he might be crucified. And the voices of them and of the chief priests prevailed.

Edited by HAZARD
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Hi brother I know how it is to be alone. Yet we are never alone it just seems like it. God by his spirit is always with us. God does not want you to be so discourage. Please read the Bible everyday. You will get to know God and Jesus Christ through it. Jesus at one point said he was alone yet then he said but the Father is with me. And in due time he can and I say also will give you people to be with. God's love is greater then any persons love ever could be. Please pray and tell God your feelings. We will ask God to give you strength in your iner person. You need hope. Don't lack hope. God said if we ask anything in Jesus name he will do it. It's his will we feel not lonely but filled with his grace. Christ also said do not be trouble for in my Fathers house are many places. He has a place in his Kingdom for you. And it's a good one. Our pain is not forever but for a short time. He will take your life and bring happiness to it soon. Trust in Christ's death that he gave on the cross for you. Your sins will be forgiven and he will make his home with you. Ask him to forgive you and to live his life in you. He will forgive you and you will be a new creation.  Just trust his death for you. And know he rose from the dead. I know he will be there for you. God's blessing on you.

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