Zurieldad Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted October 23, 2018 It has happened again. I have heard of yet another man who has professed Christ, who has been a member of the church, but has decided to walk away from his family. As I listened to the grieving adult child of this man, I heard yet again a story of destructive attitudes and behaviors that the men of this church knew nothing about; certainly I knew nothing about what was happening in this man's home. I have said "yet again" because this is the fourth man in a year's time that has decided the grass is greener elsewhere. Additionally, a woman came up to me after a recent Sunday service to ask me to pray for her adult son who is struggling with drug addiction. When I asked how long this has been happening, she replied that it's been years. Years?! Why are we just now hearing about it? This woman has sat in the chairs of this church every Sunday for a very long time. WHY are we just now hearing about this? And so, as is often my response to this sort of information, I started asking myself: why didn't I see this? Did I fail to be involved? Did I fail to reach out? How could I have been so blind? But then, as I shared these thoughts with the core circle of men to whom I hold myself accountable, my head began to clear and I realize that this really isn't about me or my failings. The Men of this church are very enthusiastic in inviting men to fellowship and into discipleship. We're active in serving the body as well as reaching out in service to others. These men who are straying are those who do not accept the invitations to be involved. But what about the other members of their families: the wives, children, parents and friends? Why haven't they said something before the crises reach a climax? And so I come to see once again what I've known for so long: secrets are the means the Enemy keeps us enslaved in our own prisons. 1 John 1:6, 7 and John 3:19-21 are very clear: we all have stuff going on in our heads and in our lives - STOP keeping it to ourselves! Too many of us are scared to expose our secrets for fear of being thought less "Christian". But according to those sited passages, being a follower of Jesus Christ requires us to bring our selves, faults and all, into the Light. Only then can our families and our churches survive the bloody onslaught from the Enemy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zurieldad Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 I think "difficult" is an understatement! But one does not have to stand up in front of an entire congregation to expose the darkness lingering in a family. If folks would just make someone aware - someone who is willing and able to confront, pray, guide, lead.. someone who is able and willing to be involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zurieldad Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 Amen, Yowm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zurieldad Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 Only one of the four families I mentioned brought the matter to the church leadership. The wife spoke with both the senior pastor and me (PepperS, I lead the men's ministry at my local church), as soon as she "had evidence" that her husband was being unfaithful, but after she had her suspicions. We confronted him but to no avail. The other families told no one of what was happening. In one family, the husband was being physically abusive but the wife took great effort in concealing it. In another family, even the wife had no idea what was happening: the husband came home one day and simply announced that he was done, and walked out. Fear of gossip and judgmentalness is legitimate. But these issues should be dealt with firmly by church leadership and the congregation as a whole. Gossip destroys. Being judgmental stifles. But once again, when we cower in an atmosphere of fear we let the Enemy have his way with us. I'm putting this out on a post in a forum not to whine or say "whoa to us", but to shine the light in a dark area of the church. If there is something, anything, that is growing in a dark area of one's life, expose it to The Light. That STARTS with prayer and confession to The Lord Himself; but it should not stay there. We then bring it to anyone we trust that will help take action. That action may not go far with the individual who chooses to reject fellowship and Godly discipline, but then again it might as in Matthew 18:16 and Galatians 6:1; but that action will certainly facilitate healing with the remaining members who choose not to live in darkness. The point of all this is: keeping secrets prevents the Body of Christ in taking healthy action to save a family - exposing the darkness INVITES The Body to touch the hand of the leper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zurieldad Posted October 23, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 5 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/11/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted October 23, 2018 Agreed, PepperS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustPassingThru Posted October 24, 2018 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,979 Content Per Day: 0.98 Reputation: 2,112 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/23/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted October 24, 2018 (edited) Home fellowships are the answer, back home our pastor would chose home fellowships of four couples and they would meet every two weeks on Saturday nights for a potluck dinner (with a limit on how much each couple could spend) and fellowship, each fellowship was in a different couple's house with babysitting provided at the church by the youth so that it would be quality time spent together without interruptions, the first meeting was the ice breaker, but after that, ...wow, the Lord is faithful, ...he would put couples together that didn't hang out together at church, couples from different social and financial status, couples made up of two single parents of the same sex, ...the bonding of the church was phenomenal , agape love at it's finest, each meeting was started with prayer and the reading/meditating of 1 Cor 13: 4-8a and Gal 5:22, 23. The whole church participated every month and at the end of two months he would change couples so that every member of the church had broken bread with everyone in the church, after just 4 months the church had become one family in Christ, we hosted a Pastor's Conference and Worship Leaders Conference in the winter and a Halloween alternative party which we invited the entire town to come, the church was known for it's love, kindness, service, ...to God be the Glory, great things He has done! Edited October 24, 2018 by JustPassingThru French keyboard LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted October 24, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,228 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,652 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted October 24, 2018 6 hours ago, Zurieldad said: It has happened again. I have heard of yet another man who has professed Christ, who has been a member of the church, but has decided to walk away from his family. As I listened to the grieving adult child of this man, I heard yet again a story of destructive attitudes and behaviors that the men of this church knew nothing about; certainly I knew nothing about what was happening in this man's home. I have said "yet again" because this is the fourth man in a year's time that has decided the grass is greener elsewhere. Additionally, a woman came up to me after a recent Sunday service to ask me to pray for her adult son who is struggling with drug addiction. When I asked how long this has been happening, she replied that it's been years. Years?! Why are we just now hearing about it? This woman has sat in the chairs of this church every Sunday for a very long time. WHY are we just now hearing about this? And so, as is often my response to this sort of information, I started asking myself: why didn't I see this? Did I fail to be involved? Did I fail to reach out? How could I have been so blind? But then, as I shared these thoughts with the core circle of men to whom I hold myself accountable, my head began to clear and I realize that this really isn't about me or my failings. The Men of this church are very enthusiastic in inviting men to fellowship and into discipleship. We're active in serving the body as well as reaching out in service to others. These men who are straying are those who do not accept the invitations to be involved. But what about the other members of their families: the wives, children, parents and friends? Why haven't they said something before the crises reach a climax? And so I come to see once again what I've known for so long: secrets are the means the Enemy keeps us enslaved in our own prisons. 1 John 1:6, 7 and John 3:19-21 are very clear: we all have stuff going on in our heads and in our lives - STOP keeping it to ourselves! Too many of us are scared to expose our secrets for fear of being thought less "Christian". But according to those sited passages, being a follower of Jesus Christ requires us to bring our selves, faults and all, into the Light. Only then can our families and our churches survive the bloody onslaught from the Enemy. Few people know of others personal struggles at my church because gossip is strongly discouraged. That doesn't mean they haven't been going though counseling. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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