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On 11/1/2018 at 6:25 AM, SisterCess said:

Hello! I need an advice from everybody!

 

I am in love with my Youth Pastor.. it's a one-sided love.. He is single and so am I. He just broke up with his girlfriend because they have different visions in their ministries (but the girl is not from our church and she's a missionary).. even before they were together and broke up, he was and still is a distraction to me.. I cant concentrate to my ministry and to the Lord.. I always get conscious whenever he's there.. I thought I already get over him.. I thought my feelings for him were gone.. I prayed and cried out for it to God but everytime I see him, the feelings came back and once again, I cant focus anymore.. 

I always thought of leaving the church because of him but I know it is a very lame reason.. 

And one thing that makes my feelings grow is that he make a lot of moves for me to think that he likes me as well..

Please help me.. maybe for you, this is just a small thing to make it a problem but it is so a big thing for me because of it, my christian life will be at risk.. 

 

THANKS.. Shalom!

 

On 11/2/2018 at 7:41 PM, SisterCess said:

Hi.. um, well, he's already a youth pastor even before I came in to the church.. and honestly, he's getting fat now but I still like him.. ???

SisterCess, if you are old enough for a relationship which leads to marriage, why don't you go ahead and try to see if he feels the same about you.   Maybe try to have some conversations with him or sit with him for coffee, etc.   Maybe he needs to know you are interested in him?  Since you are both in ministry, this seems like it would be a good match!

 

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On 11/1/2018 at 8:25 AM, SisterCess said:

Hello! I need an advice from everybody!

 

I am in love with my Youth Pastor.. it's a one-sided love.. He is single and so am I. He just broke up with his girlfriend because they have different visions in their ministries (but the girl is not from our church and she's a missionary).. even before they were together and broke up, he was and still is a distraction to me.. I cant concentrate to my ministry and to the Lord.. I always get conscious whenever he's there.. I thought I already get over him.. I thought my feelings for him were gone.. I prayed and cried out for it to God but everytime I see him, the feelings came back and once again, I cant focus anymore.. 

I always thought of leaving the church because of him but I know it is a very lame reason.. 

And one thing that makes my feelings grow is that he make a lot of moves for me to think that he likes me as well..

Please help me.. maybe for you, this is just a small thing to make it a problem but it is so a big thing for me because of it, my christian life will be at risk.. 

 

THANKS.. Shalom!

Take heart, sister, your Christian life style may be at risk... but your Christianity will never be. God woos us to faith, he saves us, he keeps us / maintains us, it's all his work / his doing (Ephesians 2:8-10 ← particularly verse 10a).

My kindergarten teacher (when I was saved) was a missionary whop never married.  Here's her obituary http://www.orpfh.com/obituary/507750

In it you will see she was devoted to Christ her entire life and never married. Not a nun either. If this is your calling, then by all means avoid the distraction you refer to at all costs.

But if you are planning to have a family someday, follow your heart.

Grandiose missions and ministries are the well laid plans of some... but they might not be our actual calling.

I planned on an apologetics ministry akin to that of the late Dr. Walter Martin (founder of the Christian Research Institute). Was that ever a joke.

I went at it for 20 years striving for the day when I stepped out into the ministry and it was a dismal failure. Because god was not in it. It was all JohnD's idea.

I learned a lot. And there may be a calling or two I've been prepped for... but I am open to the Holy Spirit's prompting and command.

I recommend the same thing to you.  He might be preparing for the youth pastor a wife he knows will help him in his ministry and in his family all the days of her life.

Consult him (the Holy Spirit) and verify it's him through scripture.

The rest is your choice. But pay attention to the signs God gives you that you made the right decision... and you might not waste 20 years like I did...

All the best.

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On 11/1/2018 at 9:25 AM, SisterCess said:

Hello! I need an advice from everybody!

 

I am in love with my Youth Pastor.. it's a one-sided love.. He is single and so am I. He just broke up with his girlfriend because they have different visions in their ministries (but the girl is not from our church and she's a missionary).. even before they were together and broke up, he was and still is a distraction to me.. I cant concentrate to my ministry and to the Lord.. I always get conscious whenever he's there.. I thought I already get over him.. I thought my feelings for him were gone.. I prayed and cried out for it to God but everytime I see him, the feelings came back and once again, I cant focus anymore.. 

I always thought of leaving the church because of him but I know it is a very lame reason.. 

And one thing that makes my feelings grow is that he make a lot of moves for me to think that he likes me as well..

Please help me.. maybe for you, this is just a small thing to make it a problem but it is so a big thing for me because of it, my christian life will be at risk.. 

 

THANKS.. Shalom!

Well, you've said it--it may be time to change churches, while staying in touch with the youth pastor, because you don't want/need him on the REBOUND. Don't be foolish!

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On 11/5/2018 at 5:18 AM, JTC said:

Hi Cess, I don't think this is a little thing, emotions never are. I'm not quite sure what the problem is? Do you feel you're too young to get seriously involved with a guy, or do you have other plans for your life (such as going away to collage) that a steady relationship would interfere with? I'm asking because you're both Christian and you both seem to like each other, so I'm not sure what the problem is. Whatever it is if you have to leave the church then do that. But first pray about it.

Right now, I am 23 years old and he is 26 years old.. so I believe, we're in the right age now for a relationship.. but the things here is I like him but he became a distraction to me.. I like him but I dont want him to be my man because I think we're different (in any ways, only I and God knows.. ?). I dont know what to do.. 

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On 11/5/2018 at 5:45 AM, Debp said:

 

SisterCess, if you are old enough for a relationship which leads to marriage, why don't you go ahead and try to see if he feels the same about you.   Maybe try to have some conversations with him or sit with him for coffee, etc.   Maybe he needs to know you are interested in him?  Since you are both in ministry, this seems like it would be a good match!

 

Hi.. it's a good advice though but here in the Philippines (Im a filipino btw), it's not okay for girls to approach boys first.. we should wait for them to make a move or else, people will judge you especially in the church and I dont want that to happen..

If only he would make a move first and just tell me about how he feels because sometimes, it gets me more confusing in my part.

But oh well.. I just like him though or maybe love him. I just dont him to be my man and I dont want him to be a distraction to me. 

?

Edited by SisterCess
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On 11/7/2018 at 9:22 PM, SisterCess said:

Hi.. it's a good advice though but here in the Philippines (Im a filipino btw), it's not okay for girls to approach boys first.. we should wait for them to make a move or else, people will judge you especially in the church and I dont want that to happen..

If only he would make a move first and just tell me about how he feels because sometimes, it gets me more confusing in my part.

But oh well.. I just like him though or maybe love him. I just dont him to be my man and I dont want him to be a distraction to me. 

?

Hi Cess, It sounds things in the Philippines are the way they were here in the USA back in the 60's when I grew up. Somehow, a girl always made a guy know she liked in him. Please realize some guys are not girl-smart, and others are extremely shy with a girl they like. Believe it or not, guys also fear rejection. There's so many reasons this guy might act uninterested in you, even if he is interested, I can't list them all. At least he's not a dog of a man. Those types aren't shy and rejection means nothing to them. Dog men only want sex and they learn quite young they're going to be rejected from most girls. 

   I guess you should just pay a lot of attention to him. It might also help if you can find a way to touch his arm for several seconds occasionally. Body language can be quite powerful if done correctly. Usually when a girl touches a guy very casually it tells the guy "hay, I like you". The last resort is to have a mutual friend ask him how he feels about you. At least he will then know you like him.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

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50 minutes ago, JTC said:

Hi Cess, It sounds things in the Philippines are the way they were here in the USA back in the 60's when I grew up. Somehow, a girl always made a guy know she liked in him. Please realize some guys are not girl-smart, and others are extremely shy with a girl they like. Believe it or not, guys also fear rejection. There's so many reasons this guy might act uninterested in you, even if he is interested, I can't list them all. At least he's not a dog of a man. Those types aren't shy and rejection means nothing to them. Dog men only want sex and they learn quite young they're going to be rejected from most girls. 

   I guess you should just pay a lot of attention to him. It might also help if you can find a way to touch his arm for several seconds occasionally. Body language can be quite powerful if done correctly. Usually when a girl touches a guy very casually it tells the guy "hay, I like you". The last resort is to have a mutual friend ask him how he feels about you. At least he will then know you like him.

That's all I can think of at the moment.

I hope that touching thing would be easy but not, it's not.. guys like him doesnt want girls to make a move because for everybody, it is not good to look at and it will only create a bad impression.. 

Anyways, all I wanted now is not really him to be my future husband or boyfriend but to avoid distraction which is him as well.. I cant focus on to the Lord because he's always on my mind and Im scared that satan might be using my feelings for this man so I could get distracted especially in my ministry as a Worship leader.. I wanted to leave but I cant cause this church had been an answered prayer to me.. 

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Uhm, I just want to clear things to all of you.. Im not posting this for a love advice but to help me on what to do so I wont get distracted through him.. this youth pastor, became a great distraction to me and because of that, I couldnt focus myself to God, he's always in my mind.. I cant concentrate when Im leading God's people to worship because I always get distracted.. it's hard.. I just want to stop this.. Im scared that satan might be using my feelings to destroy and distract me.. 

Edited by SisterCess
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5 minutes ago, SisterCess said:

I hope that touching thing would be easy but not, it's not.. guys like him doesnt want girls to make a move because for everybody, it is not good to look at and it will only create a bad impression.. 

Anyways, all I wanted now is not really him to be my future husband or boyfriend but to avoid distraction which is him as well.. I cant focus on to the Lord because he's always on my mind and Im scared that satan might be using my feelings for this man so I could get distracted especially in my ministry as a Worship leader.. I wanted to leave but I cant cause this church had been an answered prayer to me.. 

 Pray for God to give you wisdom in this matter. Fill your mind with Gods promises that he will get you through this. You are just being tested.  Get busy doing other things. Dont allow any man or woman to get in between you and your ministry. Set your mind on all things pure and holy! Phil 4:8

Be encouraged . In Gods time all things are possible. Dont listen to the lies that you cant stop thinking about this man. You can! Get your mind in the word of God! You will be better all around for it. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you Phil 4:13. 

Dont be scared. God didnt give you a spirit of fear. This is a test allowed by God. You will be okay if you keep focusing on Christ. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Yoy are a precioys jewel loved by the Lord. Trust in him to see you through this! Be blessed! 

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