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Being upset about my appearence - Is that a sin?


NathWChristian

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Hi guys.
 
Is being upset about your appearance a sin?
When I walk in the city I see nobody looks at me, but then a pretty girl will pass by and all guys will stare at her and I am like, "ok, I am not pretty, If I were people would glance at me too." 
And it makes me upset because this always happen when I see beautiful girls and it doesn't happen to me.
Is it a sin to be upset about it?
Can I change my appearance or would that be wrong?
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People have different likes, there is nothing wrong with changing your appearance... but, you need to do it for the right reason, not so that guys will look at you; (most of those guys have lust in there heart, and you don't want those type of guys looking at you) If you change your look, you need to do it for yourself, what you like. But first you need to understand, that as a Christian, you are beautiful, and unless you get a hold of that, you will never be happy with how you look on the outside.

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42 minutes ago, NathWChristian said:
Hi guys.
 
Is being upset about your appearance a sin?
When I walk in the city I see nobody looks at me, but then a pretty girl will pass by and all guys will stare at her and I am like, "ok, I am not pretty, If I were people would glance at me too." 
And it makes me upset because this always happen when I see beautiful girls and it doesn't happen to me.
Is it a sin to be upset about it?
Can I change my appearance or would that be wrong?

Good advice by Faith builders.  You want to attract the right type of man.

We all need to accept our appearance as that is accepting ourselves as God made us, and then people are more apt to accept us, too.  We might do certain things to look nicer, of course....there is nothing wrong with that.    However, if we accept ourselves and reach out to others genuinely, people usually respond to us.    I sometimes see people that might not be what the world considers being very attractive....but that person has other qualities which make him or her attractive!   It can be a good sense of humour, intelligence or their true concern and care for others.   Your personality will often draw people to you more than your "looks" so keep that in mind.

 

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Here's the truth. 

  • We live in a world we the female definition of beauty are the Kardashians.
  • Yes, men are going to respond to that visually.  It's how they are wired.
  • No, the average woman does not look like that.
  • Yes, women crave the attention from men - even if just a passing glance.  When that attention is passed over us - it's painful. 
  • Likewise with men - they crave attention in different forms: respect, admiration, and yes, the "look" - and when they are passed over or rebuffed, it's also painful.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what NOT to do.

  • Don't change your body or appearance for ANYONE.  Why?  Because no matter how much we women engage in altering our appearances, there will ALWAYS be women who are more attractive physically and men will ALWAYS be giving those women that "look".  So what was profited?
  • If you want to change anything - certainly changes in our health make us look better, but not confuse altering your appearance with making a man drawn to you for godly reasons.

The Bible says that "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting".  It's temporary according to the world.  Come back to those Kardashians in about 10 to 15 years and see if they are getting the attention they get now.  And what type of attention do they get now?  Not the attention that you, I, or other women should seek.

Yes, it hurts.  And that old adage "beauty comes from within" - it ain't true.

If you want to lightly spruce yourself up - a hairstyle change, health change, or wardrobe change, that's fine.

Just DON'T DO IT for a man to look at you.  Those men you've watched ogling those "beautiful women" have moved on with life since that day you saw them.

You need to move on, too.  Live life for YOURSELF and those you love and for Christ.  You'll quickly find yourself walking your own path and not trying to get into a lane that's not yours.  

Focus on your life's purpose, spruce up a "little", and find delight in your life.  You are punishing yourself now for something that you have NOT done wrong.  And that make's me sad.

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24 minutes ago, Jayne said:

Here's the truth. 

  • We live in a world we the female definition of beauty are the Kardashians.
  • Yes, men are going to respond to that visually.  It's how they are wired.
  • No, the average woman does not look like that.
  • Yes, women crave the attention from men - even if just a passing glance.  When that attention is passed over us - it's painful. 
  • Likewise with men - they crave attention in different forms: respect, admiration, and yes, the "look" - and when they are passed over or rebuffed, it's also painful.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what NOT to do.

  • Don't change your body or appearance for ANYONE.  Why?  Because no matter how much we women engage in altering our appearances, there will ALWAYS be women who are more attractive physically and men will ALWAYS be giving those women that "look".  So what was profited?
  • If you want to change anything - certainly changes in our health make us look better, but not confuse altering your appearance with making a man drawn to you for godly reasons.

The Bible says that "charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting".  It's temporary according to the world.  Come back to those Kardashians in about 10 to 15 years and see if they are getting the attention they get now.  And what type of attention do they get now?  Not the attention that you, I, or other women should seek.

Yes, it hurts.  And that old adage "beauty comes from within" - it ain't true.

If you want to lightly spruce yourself up - a hairstyle change, health change, or wardrobe change, that's fine.

Just DON'T DO IT for a man to look at you.  Those men you've watched ogling those "beautiful women" have moved on with life since that day you saw them.

You need to move on, too.  Live life for YOURSELF and those you love and for Christ.  You'll quickly find yourself walking your own path and not trying to get into a lane that's not yours.  

Focus on your life's purpose, spruce up a "little", and find delight in your life.  You are punishing yourself now for something that you have NOT done wrong.  And that make's me sad.

Your words make a lot of sense. 

It wont help anything to complain that God made me average looking. I should move on.

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Good nature will always supply the absence of beauty, but
beauty cannot supply the absence of good nature.

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness

The way to be happy is to make others happy

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.... (Philippians 4:8)

Be a lamp in the chamber if you cannot be a star in the sky
 

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

 

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2 hours ago, NathWChristian said:
Hi guys.
 
Is being upset about your appearance a sin?
When I walk in the city I see nobody looks at me, but then a pretty girl will pass by and all guys will stare at her and I am like, "ok, I am not pretty, If I were people would glance at me too." 
And it makes me upset because this always happen when I see beautiful girls and it doesn't happen to me.
Is it a sin to be upset about it?
Can I change my appearance or would that be wrong?

There is the superficial and obvious attention that lasts a few moments and is usually sexually based in some manner.  Then there is the deeper attention focused on who a person is.    A big part of attractiveness (in a good way) is how one conducts oneself.   Confidence, smiles, posture, pleasantness, and things like that are a big part of good attractiveness.  I think it's fine to wear clothes, have a hair style, etc. that presents oneself in a positive way that creates a good impression.  For example, I found I got more respect at work when I started wearing ties and nice shirts rather than being a half step above t-shirts and jeans.

Being upset about not being noticed is more likely a symptom of something deeper.  Sometimes loneliness, self-hatred, feeling inadequate, or lies that we believe about ourselves (such as I am stupid, I am ugly, or everyone hates me) cause us to react to things that otherwise shouldn't bother us.  Trying to fix things that bother us (such as dressing to get what is potentially negative attention) are likely to cause us more problems in the long run because they don't address what it really at the heart of things.

The big question for all of us to face is who has God created us to be?  Who is that special person meant to reflect His glory to the world that we are meant to be?  I've known many people who are/were angry at God for who He made them to be.  They believe that He somehow made a giant mistake and should have done things differently.  It has/had a very negative effect on their spiritual walk.

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3 hours ago, NathWChristian said:
Hi guys.
 
Is being upset about your appearance a sin?

I say no it isn't a sin but it's a waste of who you are. I'm going to assume you're quite young at least under 30. As you get older this won't bother you as much. And truly beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I proved this in my own life. You can change your appearance but I wouldn't recommend surgery to do it. But lots of women wear hair extensions or wigs and if you put them on right no one will know. 

But when you meet the right man for you he will love you as you are. Believe me.

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5 hours ago, NathWChristian said:
Hi guys.
 
Is being upset about your appearance a sin?
When I walk in the city I see nobody looks at me, but then a pretty girl will pass by and all guys will stare at her and I am like, "ok, I am not pretty, If I were people would glance at me too." 
And it makes me upset because this always happen when I see beautiful girls and it doesn't happen to me.
Is it a sin to be upset about it?
Can I change my appearance or would that be wrong?

Hi Nath, my advice to you is to accept the way God made you...He made you that way for a very special purpose! He loves you so much the way you are and it pleased Him so much when He was creating you! You may find my thread...YOU - The Apple of His Eye an interesting read, something to be encouraged by? God bless!

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