Im Lost and Made a Mistake

[SLSalazar19]

Before I begin... I just wanna say I’ve been lost all of 2018. What I’m about to say is very serious... idk if any of you guys can help or shed any light... if not should I possibly go to a pastor or preist? Anyways being very lost and young(18) I began going to Young Life and understanding more about Christ.  I went to Young Life camp and there I committed my life to Christ.  As I was young in the faith I tried staying strong...going to bible study with friends and trying my best to go to church.  Summer ended and I started falling away from all of it.  Not reading the Bible, not praying, not going to church, and just doing stupid things.  I turned my back... I would feel guilty about it and pray and begin to read again. I would just turn my back a couple days later.  Putting my worth in other things telling myself I can take control of my life.  As fall began I started getting horribly depressed... praying to god asking for help and nothing was happening. I began getting upset at him. Frustrated nothing was working out in my life seeing that all my friends were depressed( some friends going to mental hospitals and even one friend taking his life... his funeral made national news) I saw nothing but darkness and no light.  The devil was around. He didn’t want me going to God anymore. I wanted other things in life.  I wanted things so so bad I began to talk to the devil.. telling him that I knew he was there with me bc I was drowning with sin.  I felt him. I wanted things and knew he could give it to me.  I felt his presence one night talking to him while I was driving. I told him what I wanted but never gave him what he wanted .  He made it clear in my mind where to meet him to get what I wanted.  Ironically it was at a crossroad, I wanted fame.  After I began looking up videos on satan. Curious how to summon him.  I know this is wrong.  I feel guilty for all of this..I’m worried for myself...are the gates closed for me? Is my soul gone? What can I do? From the start I knew I wasn’t going to sell my soul... but what if I did this on accident? Before I even did this I felt like Jesus left me.... Satan is the master deceiver... he’s been in life from my childhood to now... idk what’s going on... please help

[AnOrangeCat]

The door isn't closed for you. Jesus and the apostles delivered people from demon possession, and the fact that you're worried and guilty is good. Please do consult with a pastor just the same. It's easy to commit to Jesus when you're immersed in a Christian environment like the camp, but easier to fall away outside of it. Stay as immersed in God as you can.

[George]

Shalom,

First of all, the Lord loves you -- He sent His Son to die for you.  Right now, the enemy is feeding you lies of being lost, without hope, because he is the "father of lies" and he's seeking whom he may devour.  But you have the means to repent -- to turn from your sin -- to renounce Satan and his works -- and call upon Jesus to once again fill you with His Love, Joy and Hope!  I love this passage when David fell in adultery with Bathsheba and his prayer and his restoration ... 

Psa 51:1  To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. 
Psa 51:2  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! 
Psa 51:3  For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. 
Psa 51:4  Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. 
Psa 51:5  Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. 
Psa 51:6  Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. 
Psa 51:7  Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 
Psa 51:8  Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. 
Psa 51:9  Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. 
Psa 51:10  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. 
Psa 51:11  Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. 
Psa 51:12  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. 
Psa 51:13  Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. 
Psa 51:14  Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. 
Psa 51:15  O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. 
Psa 51:16  For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. 
Psa 51:17  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. 
Psa 51:18  Do good to Zion in your good pleasure; build up the walls of Jerusalem; 
Psa 51:19  then will you delight in right sacrifices, in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings; then bulls will be offered on your altar. 

If you need any counseling, feel free to PM me! 

Your brother in the Lord with much agape love,

George

[Still Alive]

For starters, if you are talking to Satan you are doing it wrong. 

I see it this way: God gave us all life. And we all have the same life span. The word we use for that life span is "today". It's why Paul said "I die every day." So, every day you have the opportunity to start your day with the Lord, thank him for creating you, ask for his protections and seize the day. And you can talk to him all day long (rather than Satan). Then, you do it again the next day, starting a "new life" fresh. Learning from your mistakes of the life (day) before and perhaps even suffering due to the mistakes you made, but knowing you are Christs and have received eternal life. And your goal is not to have a Happier life. Your goal is to bask in the Joy of knowing you are his heir. You are written in the will. He wants you to grow strong in him and trust him. And just like a "good" college professor, he may not make it easy, but he will make it rewarding, depending on how much you are willing to put into it. 

And the important thing to remember is none of this is about your salvation for eternity. That is a given. Again, you are his heir. Rather, this is about how useful you will be to him in sharing and learning - and applying it to your life.

Do this every day, even if yesterday you screwed up big time. Every day is a fresh new life. 

[enoob57]

7 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

Before I begin... I just wanna say I’ve been lost all of 2018. What I’m about to say is very serious... idk if any of you guys can help or shed any light... if not should I possibly go to a pastor or preist? Anyways being very lost and young(18) I began going to Young Life and understanding more about Christ.  I went to Young Life camp and there I committed my life to Christ.  As I was young in the faith I tried staying strong...going to bible study with friends and trying my best to go to church.  Summer ended and I started falling away from all of it.  Not reading the Bible, not praying, not going to church, and just doing stupid things.  I turned my back...

It is not uncommon for this to happen … the only course is to return to where you know you need to be and continue therein  

7 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

I would feel guilty about it and pray and begin to read again. I would just turn my back a couple days later.  Putting my worth in other things telling myself I can take control of my life.  As fall began I started getting horribly depressed... praying to god asking for help and nothing was happening. I began getting upset at him. Frustrated nothing was working out in my life seeing that all my friends were depressed( some friends going to mental hospitals and even one friend taking his life... his funeral made national news) I saw nothing but darkness and no light.  The devil was around.

Yes this is a sin filled place and you need to find a Christian family of believers and grow with them in Christ....

7 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

I wanted other things in life.  I wanted things so so bad I began to talk to the devil..

All of us are in a warfare of flesh and s/Spirit

7 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

 I felt him. I wanted things and knew he could give it to me.  I felt his presence one night talking to him while I was driving. I told him what I wanted but never gave him what he wanted .  He made it clear in my mind where to meet him to get what I wanted.  Ironically it was at a crossroad, I wanted fame.  After I began looking up videos on satan. Curious how to summon him.  I know this is wrong.

The devil is a liar and the father of... how can you trust a liar?

7 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

 I feel guilty for all of this..I’m worried for myself...are the gates closed for me? Is my soul gone? What can I do? From the start I knew I wasn’t going to sell my soul... but what if I did this on accident? Before I even did this I felt like Jesus left me.... Satan is the master deceiver... he’s been in life from my childhood to now... idk what’s going on... please help

Study to know God through Scripture... involve yourself s/Spiritually with returning where you left off: reading, praying, doing what He tells you through Scripture... develop the s/Spiritual relationship with God and He will strengthen you for the battle that is here....

[discipler777]

8 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

As fall began I started getting horribly depressed... praying to god asking for help and nothing was happening. I began getting upset at him. Frustrated nothing was working out in my life seeing that all my friends were depressed( some friends going to mental hospitals and even one friend taking his life... his funeral made national news) I saw nothing but darkness and no light.  The devil was around.

Why were all of you depressed.? Some youngsters would feel depressed and prospectless if they were too lazy to study in school or learn a trade.

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8 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

 The devil was around. He didn’t want me going to God anymore. I wanted other things in life.  I wanted things so so bad I began to talk to the devil.. telling him that I knew he was there with me bc I was drowning with sin.  I felt him. I wanted things and knew he could give it to me.  I felt his presence one night talking to him while I was driving. I told him what I wanted but never gave him what he wanted .  He made it clear in my mind where to meet him to get what I wanted.  Ironically it was at a crossroad, I wanted fame.  After I began looking up videos on satan. Curious how to summon him.  I know this is wrong.

Greed(for fame and fortune), laziness, selfishness and other sins-of-the-heart are leading you to the path of Satan and eternal hell. You need to get on the right and light path towards God and eternal life in heaven through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ the Word.

There is no sin/evil-work under the sun that cannot be washed clean or forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ, including our inherited Adam's Original Sin, eg the sin of consulting with Satan/demons - but there may be unpleasant after-effects of the sin that may not be reversible as per the law of ni4ni, eg speech, hearing and mental disorders.(MARK.7:32)

Only unbelief or non-faith in Jesus Christ will result in the loss of salvation. OTOH, unrepented willful sins/evil-works = cursed/judged by God with calamities/terrors(1CORINTHIANS.11:30, DEUTERONOMY.28:15) -  may lead to the loss of faith and salvation.(eg JOB.2:9) There are also those who may deny the faith during times of persecution and tribulations(MATTHEW.10:33), depart from  the faith by heeding deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons(the Great Apostasy of 1TIMOTHY.4:1), etc. Believers in Christ need to keep the faith until the end.(2TIMOTHY.4:7, MATTHEW.24:13)

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After some years of study, here's my summary of the Bible or Word of God:

0. God is Omnipotent, Omnipresent and Omniscient. God has His throne in heaven.(EZE.1, REV.4) Satan and his demons rebelled against God.(ISA.14:12, EZE.28:17, REV.12:4-9)
....... God-in-heaven desired to replace the spiritual rebels with S'piritual humans. Earth is like a test-bed for this purpose.

1. On earth, all humans are born sinful/evil/satanic because of Adam's Original Sin = unclean/dirty/unholy = bound for hell when they die.(ROM.5:12)

2. Because of 1. , no humans on earth can see the true face of God and live or qualify to be in heaven.(EXO.33:20, JOHN.1:18 & 5:37)

3. To save fallen humans, God-in-heaven endeavoured to come down to earth in lesser forms as the invisible Spirit or as the visible human(= Angel of God or Jesus Christ). (JOHN.8:58/EXO.3:14, JOHN.1:1 & 14, 1TIM.3:16, 2COR.3:17, ISA.9:6)
....... As the Spirit in the yet-to-be-revealed Jesus Christ, God-in-heaven gave His Law to Moses and the Jews, in order to curb humans' inborn tendency to commit sins/evil-deeds/satanic-deeds.(DEUT.28)
....... As Jesus Christ, God-in-heaven gave the apostles and Christians the sacrificial Lamb of God on the Cross(JOHN.1:29), in order to save them from hell when they die = the free gift of salvation or the kingdom of heaven through faith in Jesus Christ/God.(JOHN.3:14-18, LEV.17:11, HEB.9:22, MATT.4:17, GAL.2:16)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

A good analogy of our One and Only God is our one and only sun.
... God-the-Father-in-heaven sends His invisible Spirit and His visible Son-Jesus to earth to sustain immortal life = the sun-in-outer-space sends her invisible warmth/heat and her visible light to earth to sustain mortal life.
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The Bible or Word of God can be broken down into 2 parts, the Old and New Testaments/Covenants, ie,

(i) if you want to have a good n long life on earth, you need to keep the Law/Word of God.(DEUT.28, MATT.19:21, ACTS.15:24-29, cf; 1COR.5:1-5 & 11:30, 1JOHN.5:16-19),

(ii) if you want to go to heaven when you die, you need to be saved from hell by Jesus the Christ/Messiah/Savior.(MATT.5:27-30, ROM.5:12, LEV.17:11, HEB.9:22, JOHN.3:16, 1COR.6:9-11, REV.22:12-15)

Christians should aim to achieve both, ie to gain both blessings from God, eg MATT.19:16-23's rich young ruler if he had only followed Jesus to become perfect. Both blessings require faith in God/Jesus, ie believe that He will bless them accordingly.(HEB.11:1-6) Cf; in contrast, obey or follow like a robot or a pack of wild dogs/wolves.
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Bc of our inherited Adam's Original Sin, we have the dual problems of INVOLUNTARY satanic/evil/sinful thoughts, eg immoral lust, hate, anger, greed, selfishness, jealousy, fear/worries, doubts, etc, ...and VOLUNTARY satanic/evil/sinful deeds, eg blasphemy, idolatry, murder, adultery/fornication/rape, stealing, lying/cheating/defrauding, etc.
....... The former resulted in being cursed/sent to hell when we die(GEN.3:14-16) and the latter resulted in being cursed by God with a sad and short life on earth. God's Law solved the latter and God's Son solved the former.
....... Usually, before someone committed murder, he/she had originally harbored hate or greed or lust or jealousy or etc in his/her heart and mind.(source is spiritually from Satan - JOHN.8:44, MATT.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8)) IOW, all humans are born satanic/evil/sinful/unclean, from their hearts to their feet.
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 At ACTS.15:24-29, God/Jesus required new Gentile Christians to begin their born-again lives of the Spirit by keeping 4 easy or non-burdensome laws of Moses, ie avoid eating blood, strangled animal sacrifices, foods/things offered to idols and sexual immorality = minimum legal requirement. They are then given time to gradually learn to keep the other laws of Moses which are not a burden(1CORINTHIANS.3:1-3), esp morality laws, eg the Ten Commandments at EXODUS.20, LEVITICUS.10:9 & 18:22-29, DEUTERONOMY.18:9-14, etc. Otherwise, bad things will happen to them for "we reap what we sow".
....... In comparison, Jewish Christians are required by God/Jesus to continue to keep Moses Law, as many laws as possible, because it is not a burden to them.
....... Eg, Gentile Christians should still avoid homosexuality/sexual immorality but can continue to eat non-kosher foods because the former is not a burden but the latter is a burden(ie it's a burden for them to keep the kosher/clean food laws).

IOW, "Go and sin no more, lest a worse thing comes upon you"(JOHN.5:14 & 8:11) = those who go and sin some more will be cursed by God with calamities and terrors(1COR.11:30, 1JOHN.5:16-17, PROVERBS.1:26) which may then result in the wilful or ignorant Gentile Christian sinners/evil-workers/Law-breakers losing their salvation by losing faith, eg curse God/Jesus and die(1COR.5:1-5, HEBREWS.10:26-31, JOB.2:9, Judas Iscariot.?) 

Faith in God's Son, Jesus = faith in God's Word/Law/commandments because JOHN.1:1 says the Son is the Word and is also God = justified for salvation by faith in Jesus Christ/God alone, and not by the works of the Law/commandments or not by faith+works.

Before Christ(= before His Resurrection and Ascension at around 33AD), only Jews who kept the Law/commandments of God had the opportunity to be saved from hell when they die( 1 Peter 3:19 & 4:6 ), eg Moses and Elijah(MATTHEW.17:3), ie the opportunity to hear the gospel from the resurrected Christ after they died. Those who unrepentantly broke the Law of God were sent to Hades/hell when they die. The rich young Jewish man of LUKE.16:19-31 died young and ended up in Hades/hell because he unrepentantly broke the Law at Deuteronomy 15:11, ie by refusing to do charity work towards the poor and destitute like beggar Lazarus during every Sabbath Year.
....... After Christ, Jews had to believe in Jesus as the Christ/Messiah/Saviour, in order to be saved from hell, ie it was no longer sufficient for them to just keep the Law( Matthew 5:17-48 ) and be given the above opportunity to be saved from hell after they die. This requirement for salvation was later extended to the Gentiles, ie saved by faith alone, and not by the good works of the Law. 

We need to properly differentiate between involuntary satanic/evil/sinful thoughts and voluntary sins/evil deeds, and between involuntary or inborn Gentile and Jewish Christians.

Analogy about involuntary evil/satanic thoughts and voluntary evil-deeds/sins - black crows often squawks noisily over our heads but we should not let them settle and build their dirty nests on our heads. 

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P S - Get hold of a thick Study Bible for a better understanding of the Scripture or Word of God. Use a Bible website as a Concordance or Word-search.

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Edited December 18, 2018 by discipler777

[Billiards Ball]

8 hours ago, SLSalazar19 said:

Before I begin... I just wanna say I’ve been lost all of 2018. What I’m about to say is very serious... idk if any of you guys can help or shed any light... if not should I possibly go to a pastor or preist? Anyways being very lost and young(18) I began going to Young Life and understanding more about Christ.  I went to Young Life camp and there I committed my life to Christ.  As I was young in the faith I tried staying strong...going to bible study with friends and trying my best to go to church.  Summer ended and I started falling away from all of it.  Not reading the Bible, not praying, not going to church, and just doing stupid things.  I turned my back... I would feel guilty about it and pray and begin to read again. I would just turn my back a couple days later.  Putting my worth in other things telling myself I can take control of my life.  As fall began I started getting horribly depressed... praying to god asking for help and nothing was happening. I began getting upset at him. Frustrated nothing was working out in my life seeing that all my friends were depressed( some friends going to mental hospitals and even one friend taking his life... his funeral made national news) I saw nothing but darkness and no light.  The devil was around. He didn’t want me going to God anymore. I wanted other things in life.  I wanted things so so bad I began to talk to the devil.. telling him that I knew he was there with me bc I was drowning with sin.  I felt him. I wanted things and knew he could give it to me.  I felt his presence one night talking to him while I was driving. I told him what I wanted but never gave him what he wanted .  He made it clear in my mind where to meet him to get what I wanted.  Ironically it was at a crossroad, I wanted fame.  After I began looking up videos on satan. Curious how to summon him.  I know this is wrong.  I feel guilty for all of this..I’m worried for myself...are the gates closed for me? Is my soul gone? What can I do? From the start I knew I wasn’t going to sell my soul... but what if I did this on accident? Before I even did this I felt like Jesus left me.... Satan is the master deceiver... he’s been in life from my childhood to now... idk what’s going on... please help

I can help you. I once spoke to someone who said, "I've lost my salvation, because I looked at porn this week."

I said, "How did you feel?"

"Dirty, disgusting..."

"You are a brand new Christian, a few weeks ago. How did you feel when you looked at porn, before you were a Christian?"

"I enjoyed it, I liked it, but now I feel dirty... HEY! I'M SAVED!"

**

The feelings you have about the sin you fell into, show you that you are likely okay. If you want to be 100% sure you're okay, consider what you did to become a Christian:

1) No one is perfect, everyone sins except Jesus

2) In Heaven, everyone is morally perfect, because sin would ruin Heaven

3) Jesus died a horrible death on the cross and rose from the dead, so that anyone who trusts Him, can experience Him some now, but will become morally perfect when they meet Him, later

Have you trusted Jesus, not yourself, to be saved? Then you are a born again Christian.

And thanks to your openness and repentance now, you have a shot at a full, abundant, Christian life.

Satan is liar, and wants you to think Jesus is done with you, a little trick he plays. Liar!

Trust Jesus to help you fight the good fight.