TinkerTailor Posted December 31, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 8 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted December 31, 2018 (edited) I am in an on and off long-term relationship with a girl who is really hoping I propose to her soon. We we're together for a few year then broke up and got back together again a few years later. There were two instances of infidelity on her part (I am sure I share in at least some of the blame for my lack of attention to her) in the past but she has reluctantly expressed her remorse for those events and has assured me that something like that will never happen again. She was saved many years ago in a Bible-believing church her mom and her attended but both long since stopped attending church. She now holds a "can't believe that there is only one way to heaven" and "how could a loving God condem all those in other religions" view on God and Christianity. I am not really sure what to make of all of this. Corinthians 6:14 says: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? But since she was saved earlier in life, would she be considered counted among the unbelievers? John 10:27-29 says: 27. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28. And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I could really use some advice here. I have prayed long and hard over this topic and feel lacking in the wisdom I need to deal with this kind of decision. Edited December 31, 2018 by TinkerTailor 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enoob57 Posted December 31, 2018 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 35 Topic Count: 99 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 41,061 Content Per Day: 7.97 Reputation: 21,390 Days Won: 76 Joined: 03/13/2010 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/27/1957 Share Posted December 31, 2018 1 Cor 7:7-8 1 Cor 7:24-40 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted January 1, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted January 1, 2019 9 hours ago, TinkerTailor said: I am in an on and off long-term relationship with a girl who is really hoping I propose to her soon. We we're together for a few year then broke up and got back together again a few years later. There were two instances of infidelity on her part (I am sure I share in at least some of the blame for my lack of attention to her) in the past but she has reluctantly expressed her remorse for those events and has assured me that something like that will never happen again. She was saved many years ago in a Bible-believing church her mom and her attended but both long since stopped attending church. She now holds a "can't believe that there is only one way to heaven" and "how could a loving God condem all those in other religions" view on God and Christianity. I am not really sure what to make of all of this. Corinthians 6:14 says: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? But since she was saved earlier in life, would she be considered counted among the unbelievers? John 10:27-29 says: 27. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28. And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I could really use some advice here. I have prayed long and hard over this topic and feel lacking in the wisdom I need to deal with this kind of decision. Matthew 13:18 “Hear then the parable of the sower: 19 When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is what was sown along the path. 20 As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. 22 As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful. 23 As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” Not everyone who hears understands, not everyone who hears embraces, not everyone who hears follows, not everyone who hears is born again. Now, if she says Jesus is not the way, the truth and the life, then how can she be a believer? I think that says it all right there, regardless of how long she attended church earlier in her life, the cares of the world are what she values now. My advice, run now. God bless 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustPassingThru Posted January 1, 2019 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,979 Content Per Day: 0.99 Reputation: 2,112 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/23/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 1, 2019 Truthfully, I don't mean to be trite, but you need to asking the Lord if she is the Eve He has for you and also discuss this with your pastor. Here is what my pastor taught about this subject, Man is made in the Image of God, just as God is three person in one, man is a spirit that is connected to his body by his soul, with that in mind, how compatible are you two in these three areas. Let's start with the least important, body, are you attracted to her just as she is, she doesn't have to change anything for you, ...now take a good look at her mother, in the future she could be, in resemblance, just like mom, would you still love her just as she has become? Her soul, are you both moved by the same emotions, are you in agreement on how emotional problems can be solved, is there communication between you two, deep communication, can you confide in each other things you would never tell anyone else, are you best friends? The spirit, in a Christian marriage the man is the authority figure, he has to make the final decisions, responsibility in the marriage, he alone is answerable to Christ, can she accept that, ...ministry do you both have the same goals and vision, will she be your helpmate in ministry? I haven't written this for you evaluate the promiscuous girl, but someone in the future, ...like has already been said, you need to run away as fast as you can, ...consider this, she has already given in to the temptation of her flesh, how can she keep her promise to you without the aid of he Holy Spirit living inside of her? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diaste Posted January 1, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 14 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 6,624 Content Per Day: 2.00 Reputation: 2,366 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/17/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted January 1, 2019 Hi, Good advice in the above posts. From what you say I don't feel this person is sincere. Infidelity towards you is one thing, infidelity to the word of the Lord is another. If she is an Eve then you should end the relationship and find your Sarah, or Rebecca. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinkerTailor Posted January 2, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 8 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 19 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/31/2018 Status: Offline Author Share Posted January 2, 2019 I have been to this point (being expected to propose) the last two Christmas/New Year's and both times was unable bring myself to do it. I was/am at the point of tears trying to understand why I couldn't. I prayed constantly for guidance and help to understand what was holding me back. The issues of her beliefs and the infidelity that happened in the past (a few years ago and a few years before that) are the two big things that stuck with me. Though I forgave her for what she did, it hurt me very badly and I don't think i was ever the same after that. Time has made those things hurt much less but I don't think I will ever be able to completely forget. She has changed a lot since then and I don't believe she would cheat on me again. I often wonder if the Lord had a hand in me not being able to go through with it. Thank you all for your insight. I am going to continue to pray on this and try to find some time to speak with my pastor on the topic as soon as I can. Even if the right answer is to let her go and move on, it is hard to just throw away so many years of a relationship without prayerful consideration. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnD Posted January 2, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 0 Topic Count: 904 Topics Per Day: 0.19 Content Count: 9,642 Content Per Day: 2.03 Reputation: 5,828 Days Won: 9 Joined: 04/07/2011 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2019 Run away, don' walk. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 2, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 950 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,525 Content Per Day: 5.02 Reputation: 9,027 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 2, 2019 May God guide you both. May you both seek out the word of God asking the Holy Spirit to guide your understanding and thoughts as your read and pray together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diaste Posted January 2, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 14 Topic Count: 67 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 6,624 Content Per Day: 2.00 Reputation: 2,366 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/17/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2019 5 hours ago, TinkerTailor said: Thank you all for your insight. I am going to continue to pray on this and try to find some time to speak with my pastor on the topic as soon as I can. Even if the right answer is to let her go and move on, it is hard to just throw away so many years of a relationship without prayerful consideration. I know it's difficult. I was faced with the same choice many years ago. I didn't do what I knew was right, was I told was was right to do, instead I satisfied my own feelings, I didn't heed the Lords words on the matter. Lost it all, and I mean everything. When you do finally know it's my hope you do much better than I. Be stronger than I was, listen better than I did. It may be a hard thing but much easier than what may happen in the end. Blessing to you both. May the Spirit guide you always. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Adams Posted January 2, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 26 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9,604 Content Per Day: 3.98 Reputation: 7,795 Days Won: 21 Joined: 09/11/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted January 2, 2019 RUN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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