Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
naominash

Priorities - Where is 'Me' on the List?

Recommended Posts

Here's how I was raised/discipled to decide my priorities. I don't always get this right but when I do I get blessed. But I need help on where to place myself.

1. The Lord

Time in the Word, Prayer, Praise, Life decisions, daily decision, goals all under the Lordship of Jesus.

2. Spouse (Then Kids if you have them)

If I have to help another person, hubby is now first on the list! I enjoy blessing him and meeting his needs---most of the time except when I don't get priority 1 and I get cranky and burnt out.

3. Work/Vocation

Bills have to get paid! Or if I become a stay-at-home Mom: Chores have to be done and mouths have to be fed!

4. Church/Ministry

I put this below The Lord, Spouse and Work because I was taught that you shouldn't neglect your spouse or your work to do ministry or attend Church meetings. Even pastors and ministry leaders should put their family's needs first. For example, if my husband asked me not to go to church one week or even for a period of time, it would take a lot of prayer and discernment but I might do it. Especially if the reason is because he thinks I put church activities above him. For a time, that might be a good thing. However, I would not agree to stop worshiping God or reading my Bible or praying. Hubby is not God.

That being said, I think it's important to have fellowship with other believers and to gather at a local congregation and partake of communion. That doesn't seem optional to me, unless you're the wife and the husband requests it for a time. But even then, discernment for each situation.

5. Extended family/The World/unsaved neighbors and friends.

Unsaved friends, family and our communities have needs. But all the other bases have to be covered. If your spouse needs you but your parent asks for a favor, decline the favor or ask to do it another time and see to your spouse.

 

So where do you put your own needs? Are you just somewhere in between all of them?

Me: Time to just do things that are fun, relax, let your thoughts wander, exercise, self-care etc.

I hope this doesn't seem dumb. It's not always obvious to me.

Edited by naominash
grammar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
46 minutes ago, SkilletFan said:

1. God and what He calls me to do.

 

2. The people in my life and what they expect from me.

How do think a person should prioritize themselves?

I feel like Scripture says to look to the interest of others. But it doesn't mean we should never look out for ourselves.

 

  • Thumbs Up 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think we all have needs within each of the areas you have mentioned and they create the dynamics of those relationships

Paul said

Php_4:11  I am not saying this because I am in any need, for I have learned to be content in whatever situation I am in. 
1Ti_6:8  With food to eat and clothes to wear; content we are in everything. 
Heb_13:5  Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for God has said, "I will never leave you or abandon you." 

I think these fit hand in glove with your outline.

A piece of wisdom I heard is; we have 3 areas in our life we need to keep balanced....get one out of wack and it effects the others

1. our spiritual life

2. our personal life

3. our professional life

I think the work of living in the Kingdom includes being aware of our perceived needs and those of others then balancing those out with what is really needed.

  • Thumbs Up 2
  • Praise God! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, naominash said:

Here's how I was raised/discipled to decide my priorities.

Hi, 

 I don't prioritize. Instead, I meet the situation of the moment in isolation from other situations that may  or may not arise. For if I could do something about other situations  ahead of time I would have done so already, and if I cannot I don't want them as distractions away from what I can deal with now.  

I do make judgement as to whether I have need, desire, and or leading, to do anything at all. Perhaps God has it ( a situation there) for someone else to tend, or even suffer if I happen to see it as suffering. I need not be the hovering "angel" over all things, I have not been created for that purpose.

That said, I think there is wisdom from airline attendants about  oxygen masks, plus from many insects.  Put the mask on children first then on yourslf. Also, many insects defend the nest, the hive, the eggs for the next generation, at all cost to their own existence.

ps- as for the me part. My eternity forward is certain in the hope that is Jesus. To suffer loss is gain to die is gain.

Perhaps the book Philippians may be  helpful review readingmaterial as you sort and sift.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, Neighbor said:

Hi, 

 I don't prioritize. Instead, I meet the situation of the moment in isolation from other situations that may  or may not arise. For if I could do something about other situations  ahead of time I would have done so already, and if I cannot I don't want them as distractions away from what I can deal with now.  

I do make judgement as to whether I have need, desire, and or leading, to do anything at all. Perhaps God has it ( a situation there) for someone else to tend, or even suffer if I happen to see it as suffering. I need not be the hovering "angel" over all things, I have not been created for that purpose.

That said, I think there is wisdom from airline attendants about  oxygen masks, plus from many insects.  Put the mask on children first then on yourslf. Also, many insects defend the nest, the hive, the eggs for the next generation, at all cost to their own existence.

ps- as for the me part. My eternity forward is certain in the hope that is Jesus. To suffer loss is gain to die is gain.

Perhaps the book Philippians may be  helpful review readingmaterial as you sort and sift.

 

What if you are overwhelmed with needs and options?

What if there are many things that seem to need your attention at once?

There are only so many waking hours in a day and only so much energy to do them.

How do you decide what to do next if you're in a busy season of life?

If you tend to yourself first, is that bad or selfish? If not, then can you take it too far?

Hopefully I'll have more time to serve in ministry and study Scripture soon. But it's hard for me to ignore other people's requests and chores to study Scripture so I often lose out on Scripture time.

Edited by naominash

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, naominash said:

Me: Time to just do things that are fun, relax, let your thoughts wander, exercise, self-care etc.

@naominash, hi!  :)  I can't help but notice that you are an important part of every single one of the priorities you have listed in your OP.  Respectlfully, I don't see anything in your priorities that would exclude fun, relaxation, contemplation, exercise, or personal care.  Perhaps you could be a little more creative in the way you interact with God and people so as not to feel slighted.... "count it all joy!"  For example, during your time with the Lord, maybe you could listen to some great Christian music, find a beautiful spot in the park to read from the Word and pray, or write some scripture on little cards and tuck them away in fun places for your family, or even strangers, to find.  Maybe you could drag hubby into the kitchen and get him involved with helping you prepare a meal, or help him with a chore he normally does alone.  Whether working on the job, working at home, or working in ministry to others, you can make up your mind ahead of time to work cheerfully!  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men" (Colossians 3:23).  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, PromisesPromises! said:

@naominash, hi!  :)  I can't help but notice that you are an important part of every single one of the priorities you have listed in your OP.  Respectlfully, I don't see anything in your priorities that would exclude fun, relaxation, contemplation, exercise, or personal care.  Perhaps you could be a little more creative in the way you interact with God and people so as not to feel slighted.... "count it all joy!"  For example, during your time with the Lord, maybe you could listen to some great Christian music, find a beautiful spot in the park to read from the Word and pray, or write some scripture on little cards and tuck them away in fun places for your family, or even strangers, to find.  Maybe you could drag hubby into the kitchen and get him involved with helping you prepare a meal, or help him with a chore he normally does alone.  Whether working on the job, working at home, or working in ministry to others, you can make up your mind ahead of time to work cheerfully!  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men" (Colossians 3:23).  

 

3 minutes ago, PromisesPromises! said:

@naominash, hi!  :)  I can't help but notice that you are an important part of every single one of the priorities you have listed in your OP.  Respectlfully, I don't see anything in your priorities that would exclude fun, relaxation, contemplation, exercise, or personal care.  Perhaps you could be a little more creative in the way you interact with God and people so as not to feel slighted.... "count it all joy!"  For example, during your time with the Lord, maybe you could listen to some great Christian music, find a beautiful spot in the park to read from the Word and pray, or write some scripture on little cards and tuck them away in fun places for your family, or even strangers, to find.  Maybe you could drag hubby into the kitchen and get him involved with helping you prepare a meal, or help him with a chore he normally does alone.  Whether working on the job, working at home, or working in ministry to others, you can make up your mind ahead of time to work cheerfully!  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men" (Colossians 3:23).  

I like your idea that all four can include fun things. 

I also like the suggestion to get creative.

I'm definitely not cheerful about the duties right now. I don't think it's anyone else's fault, though. I think I constantly overburden myself and take on too much responsibility. 

It seems clear that I should drop some of the hard things to make it easier. But to do that, others need to pick some up.

This is where I fail every time. I hate asking for help.

There could be 20 grocery bags in my arm, and my friend has none and we're going to a party together.

But I can't stand asking for that other person to carry even one. It feels like I'm imposing or I'm being whiny or demanding.

But later I always think, why didn't I ask? Now my arms hurt and I'm irritated at my friend!

But God reminds me I'm important too. I'm not to be selfish at the expense of others. But I'm not less important than others either.

  • Loved it! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
35 minutes ago, naominash said:

This is where I fail every time. I hate asking for help.

There could be 20 grocery bags in my arm, and my friend has none and we're going to a party together.

But I can't stand asking for that other person to carry even one. It feels like I'm imposing or I'm being whiny or demanding.

But later I always think, why didn't I ask? Now my arms hurt and I'm irritated at my friend!

But God reminds me I'm important too. I'm not to be selfish at the expense of others. But I'm not less important than others either.

God can use even what you consider to be a weakness for your benefit!  Carrying twenty grocery bags, especially if they have cans and not potato chips in them, can be great exercise, lol! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is not how much good we do but the person we are becoming. Doing good should be a result of knowing and becoming like  Christ. We tend to complicate and fret about How to be a good Christian. We end up doing this and that to please God. What pleases God? it is to become as Christ in heart mind and spirit. This is and should be what we seek to be.

We some this up in the two greatest commandments, " Love the Lord thy God with all you heart mind and soul, and 2nd love thy neighbor as thyself. We respond to needs of  others because it is what we should do as we by the Holy Spirit become more as Christ . I'm not counting the times I have helped others. If I'm there and available to love my neighbor I do what I am able. Christ works change of mind and attitude to be as He is having no pre conceived ideas like wanting to please Christ. We are being transformed into his likeness. We want to  do things that would please the Lord. but it should to be as Christ would be. Don't make mental notes on trying to be good. Just be who you should be when it comes in your path. Loving, kindness and gentile. 

My 2 cents

God Bless

  • This is Worthy 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, naominash said:

What if you are overwhelmed with needs and options?

What if there are many things that seem to need your attention at once?

There are only so many waking hours in a day and only so much energy to do them.

How do you decide what to do next if you're in a busy season of life?

If you tend to yourself first, is that bad or selfish? If not, then can you take it too far?

Hopefully I'll have more time to serve in ministry and study Scripture soon. But it's hard for me to ignore other people's requests and chores to study Scripture so I often lose out on Scripture time.

 

58 minutes ago, naominash said:

 

I like your idea that all four can include fun things. 

I also like the suggestion to get creative.

I'm definitely not cheerful about the duties right now. I don't think it's anyone else's fault, though. I think I constantly overburden myself and take on too much responsibility. 

It seems clear that I should drop some of the hard things to make it easier. But to do that, others need to pick some up.

This is where I fail every time. I hate asking for help.

There could be 20 grocery bags in my arm, and my friend has none and we're going to a party together.

But I can't stand asking for that other person to carry even one. It feels like I'm imposing or I'm being whiny or demanding.

But later I always think, why didn't I ask? Now my arms hurt and I'm irritated at my friend!

But God reminds me I'm important too. I'm not to be selfish at the expense of others. But I'm not less important than others either.

I understand what you are saying but when you dig down into it looks like you are really only doing what Ioften catch myself doing, thinking of myself and how I look in a worldly way (and you have said how that works out ...irritated).

My being with the other person is to do this together. That is the gauge I have learned to use. When I'm doing something with someone, I'm doing something with someone , not by myself but together. That's the joy in the Lord, being in relationship.

I completely understand that some things we have to do for someone because they can't, but there is always an opportunity do do a part of that with them.

All the things you have listed aren't worth doing if they aren't intended to be done in a relationship that includes a component of love and togetherness. Why do it? What's the benefit?

How do we find the "me benefit" in all of that?

How do we say to ourselves 'I have to say no to this one'?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...