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naominash

Priorities - Where is 'Me' on the List?

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Well prayer and study the bible is number one. Play it by ear. Sometimes put off something to get another thing done then go back to it.

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2 hours ago, Mike Mclees said:

Christ works change of mind and attitude to be as He is

@Mike Mclees your 2 cents is Worthy. Joy rose in my heart.

@PromisesPromises! Your words made me smile because my mindset is to see the blessing in disguise...exercise! 

 

 

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1 hour ago, naominash said:

Maybe I should show my hand.

Im married. I am a two months away from having zero income because my workplace thinks my job is an unnecessary expense. I am the only one working. 

I'm tired and I have no one to talk to. No one else knows I pay for things alone, work, then come home and do chores. I am trying to keep up appearances. 

I go to church alone most weekends and pray for strength to keep giving.

And ppl keep telling me to have joy and cheer up and give more of myself with joy.

I'm at 110 percent and I don't have the luxury of free time just for me. I come last and it seems like thats my lot in life.

I guess I need to not post right now. 

I have 20 grocery bags to pick up with a cheerful heart.

You just described my 20's.

You say you talk to no one. If this is the case, then how can they know you need help? Talk to the church. Most have programs to help those in need. Are you looking for a job? They are everywhere. Go to Indeed.com.

You need to convince your spouse to pitch in. If he refuses and thinks you should do it all, why are you allowing him to be there? Perhaps he needs a wake up call.

I am not going to tell you to cheer up, or that I will be praying for you, or that God is in control, because those are things people say to absolve themselves from the responsibility of doing what Jesus commanded us to do, feed the poor, love each other etc. Faith without works is dead.

I will tell you that you will get through this. Call food banks, go to temporary employment agencies. These Temp agencies can have you working this week in many cases. 

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2 hours ago, PepperS said:

You just described my 20's.

You say you talk to no one. If this is the case, then how can they know you need help? Talk to the church. Most have programs to help those in need. Are you looking for a job? They are everywhere. Go to Indeed.com.

You need to convince your spouse to pitch in. If he refuses and thinks you should do it all, why are you allowing him to be there? Perhaps he needs a wake up call.

I am not going to tell you to cheer up, or that I will be praying for you, or that God is in control, because those are things people say to absolve themselves from the responsibility of doing what Jesus commanded us to do, feed the poor, love each other etc. Faith without works is dead.

I will tell you that you will get through this. Call food banks, go to temporary employment agencies. These Temp agencies can have you working this week in many cases. 

Wow. Thank you, the realness means a lot.

Hubby tries but he seems to have tunnel vision with certain things. He's a good man and I love him with all my heart. But I don't know how else to get him to see I need help. So I'm chilling at a hotel for a mini-retreat while I figure it out.

I don't tell my church cause I know my husband doesn't like others to know he doesn't work consistently. 

But you're right. He's him. I'm me. I have to have some boundaries or I will literally run myself into the ground.

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5 hours ago, naominash said:

What if you are overwhelmed with needs and options?

What if there are many things that seem to need your attention at once?

There are only so many waking hours in a day and only so much energy to do them.

How do you decide what to do next if you're in a busy season of life?

If you tend to yourself first, is that bad or selfish? If not, then can you take it too far?

Hopefully I'll have more time to serve in ministry and study Scripture soon. But it's hard for me to ignore other people's requests and chores to study Scripture so I often lose out on Scripture time.

 Hi, I don't know for you, but as for me:

1. I learned from a brilliant mentor decades ago, never worry  about work at home, and never worry about home at work. For those that do tend to do poorly at both, miss out on raises, get fired, and  often end up divorced.

2. Yes there is a time and a place for everything, in that sense there is prioritization. BUT, not everything is a priority, and not all stuff is even there for me to handle personally. In fact some stuff I should never consider to be my burden just because I know of it. For God has made it for an other to handle. If I jump in I just enable another's errant manner to continue, something God was trying to get corrected.  I only get in the way of God's working.

3. There is never many things that need my attention all at once, that is only my imagination puffing up my sense of self importance. There are things I didn't attend to when I should have. There are things I think I might  need to do. There are things I burden myself with that  is really intended  by God  for someone else to do. If I  say I can multitask, I do it all the time, I am  kidding myself, and usually  doing a less than half effort on everything to no one's real satisfaction. I need do only one thing well, and thoroughly, at a time.

4. There is never a slow season in life! One has to set their own speed to travel through what is always a busy time of needs and desires. 

5. If I do not tend to myself (And I have often made that serious mistake) I cannot do well for others. I just get to beating myself up with "self-meanification. Then I am miserable and no good to anyone for much of anything.

Like the airliner attendants say. - Put the oxygen mask on yourself first then others if needed. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, naominash said:

Wow. Thank you, the realness means a lot.

Hubby tries but he seems to have tunnel vision with certain things. He's a good man and I love him with all my heart. But I don't know how else to get him to see I need help. So I'm chilling at a hotel for a mini-retreat while I figure it out.

I don't tell my church cause I know my husband doesn't like others to know he doesn't work consistently. 

But you're right. He's him. I'm me. I have to have some boundaries or I will literally run myself into the ground.

Our dear sister, what burdens you are placing on yourself, burdens that our Lord and Saviour did not ask us to."Cast your cares on me, for I care for you." Can I just say, as someone who in my early years of marriage, expected my wife to be the same person my mum was. I needed a "wake up" call, and I got one, "your wife is NOT your mother, she needs your help and support, you are BOTH in this situation, TOGETHER. I understand he feels inadequate, not working full time, but that is no excuse to allow others not to know, it's called, Ugly Pride, "humble yourself in the sight of The Lord, and He will lift you up." Letting people know your situation allows them the opportunity to bless you and help you, let them, and thank them. As always, I hope this helps, God bless.

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11 minutes ago, Heybro said:

Our dear sister, what burdens you are placing on yourself, burdens that our Lord and Saviour did not ask us to."Cast your cares on me, for I care for you." Can I just say, as someone who in my early years of marriage, expected my wife to be the same person my mum was. I needed a "wake up" call, and I got one, "your wife is NOT your mother, she needs your help and support, you are BOTH in this situation, TOGETHER. I understand he feels inadequate, not working full time, but that is no excuse to allow others not to know, it's called, Ugly Pride, "humble yourself in the sight of The Lord, and He will lift you up." Letting people know your situation allows them the opportunity to bless you and help you, let them, and thank them. As always, I hope this helps, God bless.

I agree with most you said except the ugly pride part. She is honoring her hubbys request to not blab to everyone their situation.

 

You and I dont know the whole situation . Its not our business either. It appears she has humbled herself here. She is reaching out. 

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First off I am praying for steady, reliable work for your husband!  

You pray about each and every other activity, whether God has called you to do it or if it is "busy work".  You should be giving yourself time after your Bible study and prayer and husband in priority.   I used to combine exercise and self time by taking a 5 mile walk!  The exercise worked off the stress hormones and it gave me time to talk to God, to enjoy nature, to cry if I was frustrated, etc.  If I couldn't walk I would take a long, hot bath.   

When you do have kids your time is not your own till you get them all into school.  They really do depend on you.  God had to tell me to stay home with my kids.   So learning to weed out the things God has not called you to do is important.  Learn to say no.  And make sure you are not taking on stuff to get away from the house and your husband's demands.  Tell your husband that you need his support, his encouragement and his hugs.  After hubby was saved it took the death of my dad for him to finally sit next to me on the bed and ask "what can I do to help?"  It was one of those times I just needed him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright.  And it took a stay in the hospital with a crushed foot for him to start doing housework and cooking, which he had always called "woman's work".  

Making a marriage work is hard work.  If the two of you can make it to Christian marriage seminars, it is worth the expense and time to improve any marriage.  Sometimes they are offered through churches and sometimes they are public.  Some have really funny speakers that help you laugh at yourselves and the mistakes you are making.  

Sending you a hug, Naomi.  :bighug2:

 

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12 minutes ago, Willa said:

First off I am praying for steady, reliable work for your husband!  

You pray about each and every other activity, whether God has called you to do it or if it is "busy work".  You should be giving yourself time after your Bible study and prayer and husband in priority.   I used to combine exercise and self time by taking a 5 mile walk!  The exercise worked off the stress hormones and it gave me time to talk to God, to enjoy nature, to cry if I was frustrated, etc.  If I couldn't walk I would take a long, hot bath.   

When you do have kids your time is not your own till you get them all into school.  They really do depend on you.  God had to tell me to stay home with my kids.   So learning to weed out the things God has not called you to do is important.  Learn to say no.  And make sure you are not taking on stuff to get away from the house and your husband's demands.  Tell your husband that you need his support, his encouragement and his hugs.  After hubby was saved it took the death of my dad for him to finally sit next to me on the bed and ask "what can I do to help?"  It was one of those times I just needed him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright.  And it took a stay in the hospital with a crushed foot for him to start doing housework and cooking, which he had always called "woman's work".  

Making a marriage work is hard work.  If the two of you can make it to Christian marriage seminars, it is worth the expense and time to improve any marriage.  Sometimes they are offered through churches and sometimes they are public.  Some have really funny speakers that help you laugh at yourselves and the mistakes you are making.  

Sending you a hug, Naomi.  :bighug2:

 

Now willa ,    where is my hug . 

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