Christiangal Posted January 20, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 2 Topic Count: 6 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 26 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 11 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/04/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted January 20, 2019 So I was watching what seemed like a family friendly cooking competition TV show with my Dad. Turns out one of the contestants was gay. So my Dad got mad and accusatory and asked me why I chose to watch that show as if I chose to watch it because I might be gay. I got really mad and then my Dad laughed and said he was glad I was mad about it because that eased his suspicions. I’m sitting alone now , I feel depressed and angry. I don’t even have an appetite. My Dad apologized but I’m still so upset. I got mad at him and now I also feel guilty about getting mad on top of everything else. He is old and I’m pretty old myself. Both of our nights are ruined. It’s just that he’s done this junk my whole life. This is why I’m so shy around people. I’m always scared I’ll do or say something wrong. I mean that TV show was totally out of my control and it seemed like a perfectly innocent thing to watch. I’m miserable. I just wanted to know what you all thought. I mean im so warped in my mind now because of growing up like this I was hoping someone could unwarp me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adstar Posted January 20, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,399 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,307 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted January 20, 2019 Hi Christiangal.. The impact of a statement upon us is not primarily governed by the statement but by the authority we place on the one who has made that statement.. Your Dad is the same as any other human Dad.. Imperfect.. Lets face it some Dads are more imperfect then others when it comes to being a Dad.. We can also assess a statement that we have received and we can come to our own personal assessment of it's validity in regards to us.. Now if we place more authority in our assessment of the statement rather then in the One who made the statement then it's impact upon us is reduced considerably.. If we assess a negative statement and determine that it is lacking validity it can only be an irritant to us.. We can reject that statement and the one giving it can offer and apology and since it was only an irritation to us we can more easily put it aside and move on .. But if we are placing authority upon the one who gave us the statement then we in some cases can end up being traumatized by the experience and it becomes very hard to accept an apology and give our forgiveness.. So my advice to you is to try and lower the authority of your Dad in your own mind.. Not to the point of being mocking or disrespectful towards him.. But to the point where you have an accurate measure of your Dads imperfection.. We can love our imperfect parents more easy if we are not so hurt by their imperfect statements.. As a Child we all have a strong tendency to look upon our parents as if they are gods.. We look upon their every word as if it is gospel.. Sadly in this stage of our development parents can do great damage to us with their unjustifiable negative statements.. But once we transition to adulthood we need to attain a more accurate view of the truth about the peoples around us.. To accept the truth they give us and reject the false statements that direct at us.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted January 20, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 951 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,565 Content Per Day: 5.03 Reputation: 9,045 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted January 20, 2019 1 hour ago, Christiangal said: So I was watching what seemed like a family friendly cooking competition TV show with my Dad. Turns out one of the contestants was gay. So my Dad got mad and accusatory and asked me why I chose to watch that show as if I chose to watch it because I might be gay. I got really mad and then my Dad laughed and said he was glad I was mad about it because that eased his suspicions. I’m sitting alone now , I feel depressed and angry. I don’t even have an appetite. My Dad apologized but I’m still so upset. I got mad at him and now I also feel guilty about getting mad on top of everything else. He is old and I’m pretty old myself. Both of our nights are ruined. It’s just that he’s done this junk my whole life. This is why I’m so shy around people. I’m always scared I’ll do or say something wrong. I mean that TV show was totally out of my control and it seemed like a perfectly innocent thing to watch. I’m miserable. I just wanted to know what you all thought. I mean im so warped in my mind now because of growing up like this I was hoping someone could unwarp me. Hi, I suspect that much like in a scene in the movie War Games it is a strange game being played. "The only winning move is not to play" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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