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Birthday Money


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This is kind of silly but I am unsure of how I should react to it.  My mother and mother in law give me money for my birthday. No large amount or anything about $20.00 in a birthday card. Every time after they hand me the card they complain about how they don't have money and tell me about all the bills they have to pay. Like their electric bill or how much the cable bill has gone up ect ect.  They do this at Christmas as well. I  awkwardly take the card and and say "thank you".  But I end up feeling bad about it because they go on so about how much their bills are. I feel like I am just another burden to them. Like I am another bill that needs paid. I feel awkward about it. I mean yeah I like getting a card with some money in it. I won't say that I don't. But then I feel bad about it.  I'm just not sure what the best course of action is here. 

Edited by LadyKay
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They could very well see that $20 doesn't do much these days and feel a bit guilty for such an amount, believing you are worth much more than that, so they are trying to justify why they had to settle with the $20 amount.  You can look at it this way, or you can just tell them that you are really don't want gifts and just their presence at your little party is more than enough.

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maybe they're trying to tell you how much they value you by giving to you sacrificially :)

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Thank them enthusiastically and quietly at some moment tell them that they don't need to give anything when they have so much trouble paying bills etc.

 

If you can't talk to them, then on there birthady give them a larger sum of money .

I suspect they like moaning and don't realise  how uncomfortably  they make you.

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How nice to be remembered on one's birthday!

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Hmmm.......Well I will consider all of your replies. It may very well be a difference in our personalities.  Like I said it is a bit silly. But I was not sure just how to address it. Thank you for all your input. 

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On 2/5/2019 at 2:34 AM, LadyKay said:

This is kind of silly but I am unsure of how I should react to it.  My mother and mother in law give me money for my birthday. No large amount or anything about $20.00 in a birthday card. Every time after they hand me the card they complain about how they don't have money and tell me about all the bills they have to pay. Like their electric bill or how much the cable bill has gone up ect ect.  They do this at Christmas as well. I  awkwardly take the card and and say "thank you".  But I end up feeling bad about it because they go on so about how much their bills are. I feel like I am just another burden to them. Like I am another bill that needs paid. I feel awkward about it. I mean yeah I like getting a card with some money in it. I won't say that I don't. But then I feel bad about it.  I'm just not sure what the best course of action is here. 

Hi LK :) I prob will sound totally not PC but sometimes older folk 'complain' however not really meaning to hurt your feelings but just expressing themselves or  making a point but coming across as complaining .... if you know what I mean :) I only bring this up because Ive seen it happen quite a few times. 

Accept the Birthday money  LK - I'm sure if they were seriously broke they wouldnt be able to afford to gift it to you  and maybe in your more prosperous times, you could help them out here and there...?

Hope I was helpful ?

 

 

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Talk to your hubby and see what he thinks. He should have more insight into how financially tight they are etc. He might even be able to talk to them about this as well. 

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.

On 2/5/2019 at 4:15 AM, LadyKay said:

Hmmm.......Well I will consider all of your replies. It may very well be a difference in our personalities.  Like I said it is a bit silly. But I was not sure just how to address it. Thank you for all your input. 

I think you were given alot of good replies.

One thing that struck me.....if they can afford a cable TV bill, I don't think they are hurting as much as they make out!

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5 hours ago, Debp said:

One thing that struck me.....if they can afford a cable TV bill, I don't think they are hurting as much as they make out!

LOL! They complain about that as well. The funny thing is is that they both complain to me about it and I don't even have cable. It is just funny. :24:

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