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I wished there was someone like me that understood me and felt what I was going through


Figure of eighty

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5 hours ago, JustPassingThru said:

Hi, I want to start off by encouraging you, ...have hope, there always is hope...,  I went 13 years all alone, without anyone like minded, a born again child of God to talk too, but God is faithful and I always knew He was there with me, ...how did I know, because His Word promises He would never leave me or forsake me, even in those lonely times He was there, how did I know He was there, from reading His Word, may I humbly suggest you start in Genesis 1 and read through to Revelation 22, and when you have finished, ...read through again and again and again, He is our Best Friend and He is Always there waiting for us, all we have to do is open the Book and start reading, ...it's okay if you don't understand what you are reading, just faithfully read, the more of His Word you have in you the more He can speak to you and the more you will start to understand, ...look at what the writer of Hebrews has recorded for us:

God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds;  Heb 1:1, 2

Do you see what that is saying precious one, ...every time you read the Word, Jesus is speaking to you, you personally, ...meditate on that, the Creator of the Universe is waiting to talk to you and be the Best Friend you are looking for!

Lord bless

Thank you. I'm definitely feeling much better tonight.

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2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Thank you. I'm definitely feeling much better tonight.

Glad you are feeling better.   Please don't think most Christians have an easy, rosy life.  We all go through dark nights of the soul or even depression.....we all need to remember that we are still loved by God in these periods of life.    We are His children simply through Jesus as our Savior...not by any works or by our demeanor.   You can be real with God....He will still love you.

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4 hours ago, existential mabel said:

Ah but you cant fix this feeling and do you know why? Its because you are trying to do it in your own strength.

 

 

Maybe put the fix it feeling at the foot of the cross. I know I keep having to and it is helping me.

 

 

Yes and I still run to folk even after 12 months solid of avoiding doing so due to complex issues.  Why only just yesterday.. so its still there trying to be heard and really its too heavy to lay on folk but the Lord did grace me with the realisation that actually P was looking tired and really I needed to lighten up and leave!

 

 

But then not to dwell on the, ‘I am all alone in this world,’ dialogue. I put that at the foot of the cross too and ended up having a peaceful evening!

 

 

We cant get rid of these feelings and thoughts is my experience just keep taking them to the cross imagine that you are doing this and then leave it and don’t look back. Just keep on keeping on and in a sense that is having a relationship. Only right now its not as you would like it but the Lord likes it!

 

 

We are acknowledging Christ as our saviour and giving ourselves permission to not keep dwelling on stuff that just cant be got rid of so quite a result really!

 

 

Put the,’ I’m starting not to care,’ thought, at the foot of the cross keep doing it.

God will love you doing this as it gives him the glory and also you are fixing your eyes on him and your ‘problems’ are given to the Lord.

I like what you said about not dwelling on stuff.   We can acknowledge certain issues that might be troubling but it's best for us not to constantly dwell on things.   Dwelling on things constantly can become a bad habit....as you have stated, we must learn to give our troubles/burdens to the Lord and leave them there.

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On 2/13/2019 at 7:23 AM, Figure of eighty said:

I also don't know if God is calling me to singleness, I hve a deep strong desire to marry but our desires aren't always his will and despite the desire it can just never pan out it happens.

That's good you are feeling better, may I pass along some advice my pastor taught me?

He said, "When you don't know what is happening in your life, when you don't sense the presence of the Lord, ...don't throw away what you have already experience in your life," ...that is,  reflect on, meditate on how faithful the Lord has already been in your life and not on the present circumstances.

As for God, His way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: He is a buckler to all those that trust in Him. Psa 18:30

Dear one, God's way is perfect, He doesn't make mistakes, He knows the desires of our hearts,

God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him," ...we men are prideful, arrogant brute beasts, we are stiff necked and stubborn, ...since God's way is perfect, that means you are some man's Eve, ...Father is preparing you to be the right helper for your Adam, what you are going through now is unfortunately probably what you will experience with your Adam, that's why it's so important to not waste the time of this trial and learn the lesson Father has for you, ...we men need an Eve that is mature in the Lord and His wisdom to calm, tame and lovingly correct the brute beast within us so that we can be useful in His Kingdom, ...beloved, behind every man mature in the Lord is a godly woman, so please don't despise the days of the small things, ...one of my favorite verses in the Old Testament is, "it came to pass," that means what you are going through came into your life to pass out of it,  ...so I encourage you sister to learn the lesson, it's certain you will need it in the future, probably to help your Adam grow in the Grace and Knowledge of the Lord.

Lord bless  

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Hi,

There are some really caring people here, talking and praying for you. How blessed are you?

I think one of your main hindrances is `your expectations.` You seem to think God should do this and that and you should have this and that. Let go of ALL that, and as someone has already said, just start being thankful for what you have. Write a list out, even to small things. How can we see more of what God would do if we have our own check list and not appreciating what we already have.

All the best, take yourself in hand and write....`I am thankful for........`

Marilyn.

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Man thank you all for your responses they really help and they're incredibly useful.

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On ‎2‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 10:23 AM, Figure of eighty said:

As I've stated before I just feel like I'm in a deep shadowy dark place , Like I feel I'm behind God while others walk beside him.

I know , that God  cares for me a little bit because he has helped me with some things in my life. 

 

But I don't hear God, experience His leadings, I have no clue what conviction feels like... Nothing I read in the Bible feels like it speaks to me or resonates with me personally. 

I feel a bit depressed I'm not like other Christians who freely trust God and are happy and you can see God shinning through them.  As I'm typing this I'm close to crying because its so hard.

 

I watch some Christian youtubers and wonder, why can't I be like that? One I watch has every blessing imaginable, well they both do. Both walk close to God, they hear him,feel him, sense his guidance. They have beautiful homes, Godly husbands and healthy children--theyre living in Gods blessings.. and before anyone objects or questions. Ive been saved since 2010 and ive been baptized with water and his spirit so this is definitely the end of the road for me.... and it saddens me.

 

It makes me wonder like, why is it that it seems theres only one type of life that serves as this cookie cutter guidline to what being spirit filled and led Christian is like? Meaning, you always hear God, there no silent dry periods--you're always successful in everything you do,have children that are healthy and just a perfect life in general. Why can't someone single struggling with poverty, no kids be an example as well? Because I lack those spiritual and material things and it makes me feel like something is wrong or missing idk. 

I feel this book really speaks to me, its called blessed are the misfits by Brent Hansen, I haven't read it yet but I definitely know its for me. Its about Christians who struggle with doubt, trust who don't fit in with the spiritual world as a typical Christian... and that's me just odd. 

 

I don't fit in spiritually or in the natural world. I just feel like I'm in limbo...just invisible to both parties. 

 

The best way I can describe my relationship with God is just numb, silent and dark no matter how hard I try -- sort of how mother Teresa describes her's when God just kind of removed himself from her. (Not saying I'm anything like her at all. I'm not I could never match her in devotion or faith so please don't assume that..Im just describing that lonely feeling) 

I just feel alone spiritually and physically dealing with one or the other is manageable but dealing with both is pretty hellish. 

 

I just wish I a Christian model that was like me , not the typical Christian..but someone who didn't have morning coffee with God , struggled to hear him, was in their late 20's or 30's still single, just doesn't have it all together but still was devoted to God and despite not being married,having children or friends or hearing God well..... just knew God was with them and for them and they were in Gods will. 

 

I really don't know if such people exist. I know some do in the bible...like the poor beggar. I know in todays world someone would look at him and see his issues and the fact it never got better but he died in it and would probably deem him cursed... but I just wonder why someone who holds up in the face of a constant or never ending storm can't be the face, or one of the faces of what Christianity looks like.  Why is it always perfect people with perfect faith, that have both spiritual and material blessings? 

 

idk ...idk where I fit. 

 

But I do know despite how I feel ll try to watch another chirtian video that addresses my feelings and well help me like it did last night.

 

idk I just hope there's hope for misfits like myself. It seems some people enjoy both spiritual and material blessings here on this plane while some may have to wait 

untl the after life to enjoy them like that beggar. 

 

For me personally, I'm working on giving up things that I deeply desired such as a significant other , friends, an art career, a decent home as one,those things are material and they've been an incredible stumbling block that would make me angry towards God... so idk maybe its best to give those things up. I just don't think I'm meant to have an enthralling life... maybe I'm supposed to live humble pay check to pay check..i really don't know...

I also don't know if God is calling me to singleness, I hve a deep strong desire to marry but our desires aren't always his will and despite the desire it can just never pan out it happens.

but based on my life.. even though I despise singlness and don't want it I feel perhaps he's calling me towards it because I'm always alone. idk

 

sorry this is just me getting a lot of things off my chest and out of my mind.

 

 

Ok I read all, lets look at some people who really could complain about their life. Johnny Eirckson Tada paralyzed from the neck down as a teenager can you even imagine the grief but yet she was an over comer and just look at her life now. Or how about Bobby Schuller from Australia no arms or legs he to could of let that get him down or all the people who were born with all kinds of disabilities it could be so much worse. Take me for instance I got saved when I was 23 never in a million years could I imagine that not until I was 32 I would find my best friend she was 18. I was ready to through in the towel I waited so long and it was the weirdest way I meant her. Her steering wheel was stuck and I helped get it free at that very moment I knew this girl was for me and God set the hole thing up. When I got saved all my friends of 2 left me I was a shy person high school educated poor as a church mouse as she was. Now 32 years later still in Love 3 kids 4 grand kids 5 businesses later I look back and say WOW God is so good. Backslid several times asked forgiveness and here I am writing to you my friend do not give up stop trying to find the right one as I did and God will set it up. 

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On 2/14/2019 at 5:58 PM, Debp said:

I like what you said about not dwelling on stuff.   We can acknowledge certain issues that might be troubling but it's best for us not to constantly dwell on things.   Dwelling on things constantly can become a bad habit....as you have stated, we must learn to give our troubles/burdens to the Lord and leave them there. 

Agreed. I call that "morbid introspection" A self inflicted spiral down a deep dark hole.
It is not of God. Self pity is of the devil.
Take EVERY thought captive.
Examine them, and deal with them. (garbage in-garbage OUT!)

 

God says;

Philippians 4:8  "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things"   (it works!)

God is Light..........

His word is true-He does not lie-He is faithful-to the Nth degree........

Believe..   (faith is required)



 

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Fight the good fight!  Recognize your vulnerabilities and weakness. Try doing this every day:  

2Coninthians 10:5 NIV

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  

When my emotions start getting covetous, angry, bitter, depressed, etc, I always ask God to help me then I say “I take captive my anger or whatever is negative, in the Name of Jesus Christ

I honestly think all Christians go through similar things each in their way.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you  

 

 

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