Is being a Mary in a world of Marthas running away from responsibility?

[GerdaHannah]

Hi,

I was recently reading up scripture about Mary and Martha, and realised that I was more like Martha. I wanted to serve the Lord with all my heart, and was constantly anxious about whether what I was doing was correct and holy.

Many of you may be aware of my situation from other posts. In a nutshell, I am constantly being scolded and criticised by my mother in law and husband. I am always stressed out thinking of whether I should talk back to them or keep quiet.

I realised that Jesus wanted me to be more like Mary, and bask in His presence. But somehow it seems like running away from my responsibilities. I will truly heal and be happy if I can just ignore their scoldings and enjoy the Lord's presence, but is it not my responsibility to stand up to being criticised all the time.

Or am I just overthinking everything like Martha, and should let go and let God?

[Jostler]

On 2/28/2019 at 9:17 AM, GerdaHannah said:

Hi,

I was recently reading up scripture about Mary and Martha, and realised that I was more like Martha. I wanted to serve the Lord with all my heart, and was constantly anxious about whether what I was doing was correct and holy.

Many of you may be aware of my situation from other posts. In a nutshell, I am constantly being scolded and criticised by my mother in law and husband. I am always stressed out thinking of whether I should talk back to them or keep quiet.

I realised that Jesus wanted me to be more like Mary, and bask in His presence. But somehow it seems like running away from my responsibilities. I will truly heal and be happy if I can just ignore their scoldings and enjoy the Lord's presence, but is it not my responsibility to stand up to being criticised all the time.

Or am I just overthinking everything like Martha, and should let go and let God?

I think many of us fail to see the whole picture painted in that encounter.  Mary and Martha do represent two types but while we tend to disparage Martha, I don't think Jesus did.  He didn't accuse her of choosing a "bad" focus, He encouraged her to recognize a balance.   He  said Mary had chosen the  "better" part, but really left no implication that Martha's choice was a bad one.  Just one that perhaps needed to be restrained at times and tempered by a conscious choice to put aside all the pressure to "do".

I'll ask you a question with an obvious answer   Had it not been for Martha, do you think Jesus would have gotten a hot meal to enjoy that evening?   God bless the Marthas and i appreciate them.  I bet Jesus enjoyed that meal too.

Let Him touch that feeling that choosing to sit at His feet when He calls is somehow betraying Martha's responsibilities.  It's not...and "Martha" will get a lot more done if she makes time to  sit at His feet too. 

It's not about  us.  It's not about  who we are,  what we can do, our gifts, talents, abilities or service.  It's not even really  about our  sin.

It's about Who HE is and what HE has FINISHED.

I suspect in that time sitting at His feet, you'll also find exactly how He would have you respond to those constant criticisms and external pressures trying to keep you  questioning yourself and trying to be "good enough" ( a hopeless task ) to please men whose standards will just change on you if you ever did manage to live up to them.

Edited March 2, 2019 by Jostler

[GerdaHannah]

Thanks Jostler. I understand that Jesus did not criticise Martha. I want to choose the better part like Mary did.

Its just that I want to choose to be like Mary, but to me it feels like taking the easy way out by failing to do the hardwork. In other words, I am really doubtful if I am choosing the better part (and not just the easier part) by choosing to sit at Jesus' feet.

[Jostler]

1 minute ago, GerdaHannah said:

Thanks Jostler. I understand that Jesus did not criticise Martha. I want to choose the better part like Mary did.

Its just that I want to choose to be like Mary, but to me it feels like taking the easy way out by failing to do the hardwork. In other words, I am really doubtful if I am choosing the better part (and not just the easier part) by choosing to sit at Jesus' feet.

I think that's a natural tendency for those He created to be Marthas    But no matter how real that little internal accusation feels, it's not telling you  the truth.  Martha's serving becomes much more effective when it proceeds out of time in His presence focused on Him.  Might take some effort to put that feeling down, but if He's calling, it's not neglecting your responsibilities to obey and respond

[missmuffet]

Martha missed opportunities for being with Jesus. Her tasks were more important. Jesus comes first. Martha took her eyes off of the Lord. 

[HAZARD]

2 hours ago, GerdaHannah said:

Hi,

I was recently reading up scripture about Mary and Martha, and realised that I was more like Martha. I wanted to serve the Lord with all my heart, and was constantly anxious about whether what I was doing was correct and holy.

Many of you may be aware of my situation from other posts. In a nutshell, I am constantly being scolded and criticised by my mother in law and husband. I am always stressed out thinking of whether I should talk back to them or keep quiet. 

I realised that Jesus wanted me to be more like Mary, and bask in His presence. But somehow it seems like running away from my responsibilities. I will truly heal and be happy if I can just ignore their scoldings and enjoy the Lord's presence, but is it not my responsibility to stand up to being criticised all the time.

Or am I just overthinking everything like Martha, and should let go and let God?

You husband and mother in law are actually abusing you emotionally. here in Australia that's against the law. You should not have to put up with that in any way shape or form. Personally, I would tell them to back off or you will leave.

[simplejeff]

2 hours ago, GerdaHannah said:

Hi,

I was recently reading up scripture about Mary and Martha, and realised that I was more like Martha. I wanted to serve the Lord with all my heart, and was constantly anxious about whether what I was doing was correct and holy.

Many of you may be aware of my situation from other posts. In a nutshell, I am constantly being scolded and criticised by my mother in law and husband. I am always stressed out thinking of whether I should talk back to them or keep quiet.

I realised that Jesus wanted me to be more like Mary, and bask in His presence. But somehow it seems like running away from my responsibilities. I will truly heal and be happy if I can just ignore their scoldings and enjoy the Lord's presence, but is it not my responsibility to stand up to being criticised all the time.

Or am I just overthinking everything like Martha, and should let go and let God?

As Jesus says,  keep quiet.   Without a word you might win over your husband, and maybe the other also. 

Serve as if serving Jesus every day,  no matter how harsh things get.  As Written,  not as men say or do or think.

In Jesus, in quiet confidence, shall by your strength and your joy.

[HAZARD]

1 hour ago, simplejeff said:

As Jesus says,  keep quiet.   Without a word you might win over your husband, and maybe the other also. 

Serve as if serving Jesus every day,  no matter how harsh things get.  As Written,  not as men say or do or think.

In Jesus, in quiet confidence, shall by your strength and your joy.

I know personally of a woman who's mother in law abused her verbally for many years, even telling her husband who did nothing to stop it. She ended up having a mental breakdown and in hospital for many weeks. 

[Willa]

Honor them and let Jesus love them through you.  But that doesn't mean to let them walk all over you.  Set limits and tell them that even though you treat them with respect, they are being very disrespectful toward you and are taking advantage of you.  Tell them you expected better of them than to be treated so shamefully.  Then continue to serve them as you would Jesus.

Jesus died for them as well.  He loves them.  Allow Him to live in you to love them and forgive them even though they don't ask for it.  It is not easy.  While we were yet sinner Christ died for us as well. He wants you to learn how great His love is.

Eph 3:14  For this cause, I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  Eph 3:15  from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,  Eph 3:16  that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, that you may be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inward man;

Eph 3:17  that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; to the end that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  Eph 3:18  may be strengthened to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and height and depth,  Eph 3:19  and to know Christ’s love which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Eph 3:20  Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,  Eph 3:21  to him be the glory in the assembly and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

[Debp]

5 hours ago, HAZARD said:

I know personally of a woman who's mother in law abused her verbally for many years, even telling her husband who did nothing to stop it. She ended up having a mental breakdown and in hospital for many weeks. 

So sorry for your friend.   While we should forgive and seek to love others as Jesus taught us, if the abuse is so bad and continual such as your friend endured, then there can sometimes come a time of gently rebuking the abuse.   I think it's important to respond to the abuser in a spirit of prayer....be led of the Lord in your words to the abuser.

GerdaHannah, are you still separated from your husband?   I know he and his mom are Hindu, and Hindus often violently persecute Christians in India.    You are now living in the West, aren't you?