Who me Posted March 6, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 17 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,299 Content Per Day: 1.72 Reputation: 1,685 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/27/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted March 6, 2019 On 3/4/2019 at 9:27 PM, Gary7 said: I have talked to my pastor but it is a large church And there are no lawyers in the church or policemen who will offer basic advice? Go back to him and ask him what is meant in Gal 6:10 and ask how is this put into practice in his church. They can give verbal advice for free, for written legal agreements you would have to pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francesco Posted March 6, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 56 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 51 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/16/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted March 6, 2019 Dear Gary7, I feel for your difficult situation. I don't know if I can render any practically useful advice, but sometimes just having another listen to our problems with true interest and heartfelt concern can be comforting. My wife has told me this many times whenever I've felt defeated at not being able to "fix" the problem at hand. First, let me say that your compassion for your son and his girlfriend is obvious and truly admirable. Although you may not be able to make things completely right, you are acting in a loving Christlike way in trying to care for them. Taking them in, while not accepting their choice of lifestyle, is a way of setting an example of the manner in which Christ implores us to live. Life gets messy. Make your beliefs in the gospel news known to them in a no pressure sort of way, then simply love them, allowing that love to become manifest in whatever way you are able. Perhaps somewhere down the road of life your example will resonate deep within the souls of these two people and with the help of God's grace they will experience a conversion moment. Never despair. I've seen people so deeply entrenched in despair, even to the point of suicide, have their lives changed. It usually takes time; many years in my experience. But, what's a few years within the context of eternity? Practically speaking, I would look into obtaining some professional help, providing your son and girlfriend are open to it. Start by investigating what your local church may offer. There are a number of free services such as Catholic Charities that can provide guidance in this area. They can certainly provide options that you may not be aware of. Don't forget to take time for yourself. Set some time aside for quiet reflection, prayer, and centering. If you run out of energy you won't be able to do much good for anyone else. I will now say a prayer for the resolution of your situation. May you know the peace and joy of Christ's perfect love. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billiards Ball Posted March 6, 2019 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,502 Content Per Day: 0.66 Reputation: 662 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/05/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted March 6, 2019 (edited) On 3/4/2019 at 12:43 PM, Gary7 said: I am new but I need to find someone to talk to. I hope I don't overshare. My son and his girlfriend live with me. They have a child together, my granddaughter. They have lived with me for about 10 months. Before that they were homeless, living out of my son's truck. I don't agree with his decisions, but with her being pregnant and they were not in safe circumstances, I decided to ask them to live with me. It has been very rocky at times both between me and them and them between each other. I have had to talk her off of the precipice of self-harm several times. There have been some minor instances of physical "interaction" between them as well. All this to say I am looking for advice, admonishment, encouragement, Etc. My siblings and parents are very supportive but I feel like I need some third party perspective sometimes. Sounds like you need encouragement--unless it's exhortation, because you are enabling your son. Why was he homeless? Is he pursuing income while he lives with you or lounging about? How is he working to fulfill his obligations to you and to his new family? And finally, of course, once the baby comes, do you plan to do for all three of them, or just keep the grandchild for its safety, and ask those not working to leave (hint)? You see what I mean? Of course, things alter if your son is ill, but you said, "I don't agree with his decisions," but a part of disagree with a child is avoiding enabling their bad decisions... Edited March 6, 2019 by Billiards Ball Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustPassingThru Posted March 17, 2019 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,979 Content Per Day: 0.99 Reputation: 2,112 Days Won: 1 Joined: 10/23/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted March 17, 2019 Hi Gary, may I add this, ...the story of the prodigal son, ...the father was watching daily for his son to return and when he saw him coming afar off he, the father, ran to him with open arms, ...so it is with our heavenly Father, He knew the exact day you would return to Him and He was waiting with open arms to receive you, ...so may I humbly suggest you stop beating yourself up about your past faults and just receive all that Father has for you today! As you have shown loving concern for your son, girlfriend and granddaughter, ...so does our heavenly Father manifest His concern for our welfare and needs, again, may I humbly suggest if your pastor doesn't perform the works and compassion of one of the Lord's pastors, then pray to Father to place you in a church where there is a pastor of our Lord, who will feed and take care of the sheep the Lord has placed in his care and responsibility. When the prodigal returned home his father blessed him with many gifts, ...so will you heavenly Father, ...one of them will be to place you in one of His churches, ...our Jesus is the Great Shepard and Overseer of His flock and He will leave the 99 to go find the 1 that is straying and lost, ...be encouraged, comforted and remember, ...the just lives by his faith. Hab 2:4 May I suggest if you start to walk with the Lord in faith, your son will see your faith and return or come to his Lord, his girlfriend, ...from what you say she is being drawn, ...resisting, kicking, fighting and struggling to Jesus, the fact that she laughs and mocks Him is the proof He is working in her life, ...if the Light of the Holy Spirit to convict her of sin John 16:8, were not at work in her mind then there would be total indifference, ...that's cool man, you do your thing and I'll do mine, ...be encouraged brother, our Jesus is at work in your family. Lord bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
com7fy8 Posted March 18, 2019 Group: Senior Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 41 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 873 Content Per Day: 0.46 Reputation: 520 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/05/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted March 18, 2019 On 3/4/2019 at 3:04 PM, Gary7 said: I am glad they are safe and my granddaughter is safe. If my son can keep this job, he will make enough money so they can get their own place. Don't know what will happen then. Possibly, they needed to be with you so they can have your help to know the right way to live and relate. By themselves, they possibly were isolated with each other and helped one another to produce their outside situation. So, possibly they need to be living with you or ones who can influence how they do things. so - - - prayer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prycejosh1987 Posted July 12, 2020 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,176 Content Per Day: 0.85 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/07/2020 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/29/1987 Share Posted July 12, 2020 On 3/4/2019 at 5:43 PM, Gary7 said: I am new but I need to find someone to talk to. I hope I don't overshare. My son and his girlfriend live with me. They have a child together, my granddaughter. They have lived with me for about 10 months. Before that they were homeless, living out of my son's truck. I don't agree with his decisions, but with her being pregnant and they were not in safe circumstances, I decided to ask them to live with me. It has been very rocky at times both between me and them and them between each other. I have had to talk her off of the precipice of self-harm several times. There have been some minor instances of physical "interaction" between them as well. All this to say I am looking for advice, admonishment, encouragement, Etc. My siblings and parents are very supportive but I feel like I need some third party perspective sometimes. Spirituality comes through, personal devotion and sacrifice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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