Frustrated

[Mozart's Starling]

So as of late I am deeply concerned with the state of my heart and am questioning my salvation. I wake up angry every day, have hateful thoughts throughout it, and commit sins which I'd rather not go into detail on here. I have prayed for assistance on this and as far as I can tell nothing is changing. Daily I find myself asking for forgiveness for the same sins over and over and feel stuck in a rut. I have mental issues and I am sure that has something to do with it but I can honestly say I NEVER feel at peace with one sole exception years ago. I am always agonizing over everything I do worrying if it is a sin or not or worrying about my heart being hardened till the point I cannot be saved. Anyone else felt this way before? I had thought I had accepted Jesus years ago, literally felt the Holy Spirit enter me and yet here I am today, a sinful and angry man.

Edited March 8, 2019 by Mozart's Starling

[simplejeff]

Many people have lived that same way,  often for decades,  and never got set free or saved perhaps.

For some hope and peace and truth,  try reading the available books at worthychristianlibrary.com - many tried , tested and proven true lessons

from men and women of God in years past,  proven by their lives to be true witnesses.   Still test everything - make sure it all lines up with all Scripture in Christ Jesus, before believing it.

[Mozart's Starling]

8 minutes ago, simplejeff said:

Many people have lived that same way,  often for decades,  and never got set free or saved perhaps.

For some hope and peace and truth,  try reading the available books at worthychristianlibrary.com - many tried , tested and proven true lessons

from men and women of God in years past,  proven by their lives to be true witnesses.   Still test everything - make sure it all lines up with all Scripture in Christ Jesus, before believing it.

Thank you for the link I will be sure to look over the writings. I read my Bible daily, but I always feel restless and worried all the same. I just don't understand why I am going through this. I accepted Jesus as my savior long ago (as I said I felt the fire of the Holy Spirit in my heart, it was amazing to be frank) and yet the peace people speak of is almost alien to me. I had a moment of clarity years back but haven't felt it since. It is very discouraging and as I said earlier frustrating.

Edited March 8, 2019 by Mozart's Starling

[simplejeff]

15 minutes ago, Mozart's Starling said:

Thank you for the link I will be sure to look over the writings. I read my Bible daily, but I always feel restless and worried all the same. I just don't understand why I am going through this. I accepted Jesus as my savior long ago (as I said I felt the fire of the Holy Spirit in my heart, it was amazing to be frank) and yet the peace people speak of is almost alien to me. I had a moment of clarity years back but haven't felt it since. It is very discouraging and as I said earlier frustrating.

His Peace is immeasurable,  unshakeable,  unchanging under any circumstance or challenge. 

Throughout Scripture, and throughout our lives,  He accomplishes this .

 

Btw,  it IS ALIEN (unknown, unknowable) to most people   .....  it is also a sure sign of our salvation in Jesus,  to those who are enemies watching - they cannot understand such peace and contentment even under torture and loss of all things that they (enemies) consider of value and hold dear themselves (instead of honoring Jesus as Lord and Savior) .

 

John 14:27

 

KJ21

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

ASV

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.

AMP

Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]

AMPC

Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

 

CSB

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.

CEB

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I give to you not as the world gives. Don’t be troubled or afraid.

CJB

“What I am leaving with you is shalom — I am giving you my shalom. I don’t give the way the world gives. Don’t let yourselves be upset or frightened.

[Debp]

19 minutes ago, Mozart's Starling said:

So as of late I am deeply concerned with the state of my heart and am questioning my salvation. I wake up angry every day, have hateful thoughts throughout it, and commit sins which I'd rather not go into detail on here. I have prayed for assistance on this and as far as I can tell nothing is changing. Daily I find myself asking for forgiveness for the same sins over and over and feel stuck in a rut. I have mental issues and I am sure that has something to do with it but I can honestly say I NEVER feel at peace with one sole exception years ago. I am always agonizing over everything I do worrying if it is a sin or not or worrying about my heart being hardened till the point I cannot be saved. Anyone else felt this way before? I had thought I had accepted Jesus years ago, literally felt the Holy Spirit enter me and yet here I am today, a sinful and angry man.

 

8 minutes ago, Mozart's Starling said:

Thank you for the link I will be sure to look over the writings. I read my Bible daily, but I always feel restless and worried all the same. I just don't understand why I am going through this. I accepted Jesus as my savior long ago (as I said I felt the fire of the Holy Spirit in my heart, it was amazing to be frank) and yet the peace people speak of is almost alien to me. I had a moment of clarity years back but haven't felt it since. It is very discouraging and as I said earlier frustrating.

Perhaps this might help... First, we need to remember not to base our faith on our feelings.   If you have believed on Jesus as your Savior and it seems you have, then you are saved.    About the sinning, it's good you are convicted about sinning....it shows the Holy Spirit is working in your heart.   But once you have confessed your sins, please then realize they are gone, washed away through Jesus.    1 John 1:9 is a verse to remember..."If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Once you confess: Start to think of yourself as righteous through Christ.... it's called imputed righteousness.    Christ took our sins and gave us His righteousness.

When you have temptation to sin, try praying immediately to avoid the temptations.   Also, learn to resist the devil and he will flee from you.   (James 4:6-8).  Read Ephesians chapter 6 alot.

Finally, learn to be more accepting of yourself....the Lord loves you no matter what.   Also, please don't think every little thing you do is sinful....the Lord wants you to live a peaceful life....this includes having fun and recreation.   The Lord is with you in all these times.

[Mozart's Starling]

2 minutes ago, Debp said:

 

Perhaps this might help... First, we need to remember not to base our faith on our feelings.   If you have believed on Jesus as your Savior and it seems you have, then you are saved.    About the sinning, it's good you are convicted about sinning....it shows the Holy Spirit is working in your heart.   But once you have confessed your sins, please then realize they are gone, washed away through Jesus.    1 John 1:9 is a verse to remember..."If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Once you confess: Start to think of yourself as righteous through Christ.... it's called imputed righteousness.    Christ took our sins and gave us His righteousness.

When you have temptation to sin, try praying immediately to avoid the temptations.   Also, learn to resist the devil and he will flee from you.   (James 4:6-8).  Read Ephesians chapter 6 alot.

Finally, learn to be more accepting of yourself....the Lord loves you no matter what.   Also, please don't think every little thing you do is sinful....the Lord wants you to live a peaceful life....this includes having fun and recreation.   The Lord is with you in all these times.

Thank you. Honestly most of the anger is directed at myself for falling short as I do so often. I know we will never achieve perfection on earth, I am just furious that I still sin even with all God has done for me I suppose. So who knows maybe it just is conviction of the Holy Spirit. I am not taking it out on others btw I keep it soley to myself. Just talking about it here seems to have cleared things up a bit for me mentally. I might be putting too much of a burden on myself is all. I appreciate the replies guys thanks for listening! I'll just continue to pray, and in time this issue will be over and I'll move on to the next sin to be angry at. Joking of course.

[appy]

God's word assures us and promises us that he will never leave us or forsake us. God is not done with you and since Jesus himself was tempted, he knows what it is like for us and is wonderfully able to help us. God will NEVER tell us to sin or tempt us to sin. He will NEVER lie to us.

1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."

As you grow in Christ, you will learn to discern the difference between conviction from the Holy Spirit and condemnation from the accuser which is satan. When we sin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, the Holy Spirit will make us aware of that sin and God in his love for us, draws us to himself, causing us to confess our sin and experience repentance which leads us towards trusting Jesus and relying on him to save us.

Condemnation however, causes us to turn away from God in fear, dread, shame and despair. Condemnation comes from satan who is our accuser. Always trying to convince us of what a loser we are. We can also experience self condemnation which is false guilt when you blame yourself, even though you haven't sinned or after you have confessed and turned from your sin.

[BeauJangles]

Hi Mozart's Starling,

Brother, there have been so many here on this topic's thread, that I see you've been greatly comforted and confirmed in you faith, hopefully. By your responses, I'm certainly hoping so by now. Not much to be added here but one more thing, perhaps on peace... Which was mentioned NEVER obtainable, for very long anyway. At one time in absolute desperation for this very same thing, the Lord gave me this verse. KJV Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee. Now, as long as you keep your mind on Jesus the Prince of Peace, your thoughts won't be tormented. Stray from Him in your mind's thinking, this to is to myself as well, then peace flies out the window... Guess who opened it. God bless!

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

Edited March 9, 2019 by BeauJangles

[Joulre2abba]

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

So as of late I am deeply concerned with the state of my heart and am questioning my salvation.

The answer concerning your salvation is remembering that you did repent of your sins and got saved. That is established in 2 Cor.5:17-18,21; Col.2:6

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ.

Therefore, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him.

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

I wake up angry every day, have hateful thoughts throughout it, and commit sins which I'd rather not go into detail on here. I have prayed for assistance on this and as far as I can tell nothing is changing.

I'm not sure what you mean about "praying for assistance". God has made available His word, His promises to you. God has said "My son, attend to My word. Incline your ears to My sayings. Do not let them depart from your sight. Keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them." (Prov.4:20-22)

Peter said in 1 Pet.2:2 "Like newborn babes, desire the pure milk of God's word that you may grow in respect to salvation."

Nothing will change until you begin. It says in Jer.1:12 "God watches over His word to perform it." God's word is the building blocks, the material needed for God to do His work in us.

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

Daily I find myself asking for forgiveness for the same sins over and over and feel stuck in a rut.

Welcome to the club, every Christian life is daily asking for forgiveness, it's par for the course no matter how mature we get in God's word.. what does change is that we somewhere along the line don't have to repent so frequently.

That is called maturity. No one attains to it automatically right off the bat.

Don't let yourself be irritated by the process of growth in Christ and His word. But rejoice that your in training and cheerfully look forward to achievements one step at a time.

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

I have mental issues and I am sure that has something to do with it but I can honestly say I NEVER feel at peace with one sole exception years ago.

With whatever mental issues.. give yourself some slack. But the feeling of peace will come by confessing appropriate verses of peace upon yourself. Don't think that it will drop on you like an apple off a tree, but go and pick it. It says in Gal.5:23 that peace is a fruit.. given to you.

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

I am always agonizing over everything I do worrying if it is a sin or not or worrying about my heart being hardened till the point I cannot be saved.

Salvation is a gift, a present given by God's grace to you. If you heard of God's love to you and accepted Jesus as your Savior, then you are saved already.

You are worrying.. that means that your heart is not hardened. But you are worrying rather than reminding yourself that God loves you.

As long as you say what God's word says about you, worry can't get your attention.. for as often as you say that God loves you, worry has to shut up.

20 hours ago, Mozart's Starling said:

Anyone else felt this way before? I had thought I had accepted Jesus years ago, literally felt the Holy Spirit enter me and yet here I am today, a sinful and angry man.

All you need do is apologize to your loving heavenly Father for not talking to Him. And apologize for letting those shortcomings pile up like unpaid bills.

Then, even though you might not feel any different.. be grateful with thanksgiving and tell Him "Praise You o Lord for you are good and Your mercy endures forever."

Begin every apology to God with that, and finish off your conversing with that. At any time that you feel sinful or angry.. remember that God loves you by telling Him  "Praise You o Lord for you are good and Your mercy endures forever."

Every time that you notice a worried thought, tell God "Praise You o Lord for you are good and Your mercy endures forever."

Yep. Make those words of thanksgiving your new rut and rejoice in it every day.

[Tzephanyahu]

On 3/8/2019 at 9:25 PM, Mozart's Starling said:

So as of late I am deeply concerned with the state of my heart and am questioning my salvation.

Shalom brother,

I have been there before but I came out, all thanks to the Father through our Lord Jesus. So I wanted to encourage you with these words and some advice, that hopefully resonates with you.

So firstly, if you are worried about your heart being hardened then it's not happening from you or God.  To confirm this again, the very fact you posted this topic with your concern only confirms that neither you or God are hardening your heart.  For when one's heart is hardened, they think they are right in the current attitude and bold with it - they do not seek advice, help or fear the hardening.

On 3/8/2019 at 9:25 PM, Mozart's Starling said:

feel stuck in a rut. I have mental issues and I am sure that has something to do with it but I can honestly say I NEVER feel at peace with one sole exception years ago.

This was quite a telling statement. Feeling "stuck in a rut" and not feeling at peace with "one sole exception"...

Often in our Christian walk,  we might reach moments of tough struggles and internal imbalance. With no discernible word or peace from God, it can be quite unsettling and we can start to doubt our salvation.  From all my experiences, I have learned that this is usually one of two reasons:

1). We took a wrong turn.

Now, don't worry, I don't mean the wrong turn into hell or anything!  Rather, that the Spirit guided us to do or face something and we didn't. It seems that when God speaks to us and we don't listen and do our own thing, we won't hear any new advice or guidance.  I suppose because God is not going to say "Oh, he is not listening to me. Okay, when then I'll say this instead". Rather, he has spoken on a matter and we have ignored it, avoided it, and pushed in out of mind. This could lead to feeling stuck in a rut. So, retrace your steps to when things were good and you had peace. Was there something you felt the Lord laid on your heart to deal with? Was there a sin to address? A person to make peace with? An instruction you didn't follow from Him?

2.) Night seasons..

The other possibility is that this is a season of testing your faith. Not only to Him but IN Him, that is - in His faithfulness, goodness, love and gift of salvation. If the tide is against you from all angles and your sinful flesh gives rise to anger at every turn - what will you do in such scenarios? Hold fast to Him and His ways or cave to the desire of anger and doubt?

In either option 1 or 2, there is much hope brother!  Stay in His Word daily. Feed on it daily.  If your have been baptised with the Holy Spirit as you indicated in your post, Praise Yahweh, He won't leave you. He might become very quiet within you in your mind is filled with worldly things, desires and concerns but He will flourish speak to you whilst you read and feed on the Word.  

Pray for wisdom, pray to be directed to the way back to peace and joy in Him.  Then read or hear Scripture daily at least once and just listen.  I'd recommend Romans 7 to 8 based on what you said in another post, but - however you feel led of course.

However confusing or murky things may come, you can rest assured of this. His gift of salvation is free and cannot be earned and He is love towards us is greater than we can ever know. Use this thought as an anchor when things get especially tough.

Love & Shalom