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Son and girlfriend fighting


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My son and his girlfriend live with me.  Sometimes I hear them arguing in the other room. I struggle with not going in there and helping with with whatever they're fighting about. It drives me crazy to hear them be rude and mean to each other. How do I reason with myself to stay out of it and not try to fix? I get really stressed and it gives me anxiety.  I get knots in my shoulders listening to them.

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I agree with ladypeartree in asking them to take their arguments elsewhere. I'm fairly certain that everybody in a relationship argues at one point or another. It can be healthy, but to me, it indicates that either one or both parties keep things bottled up rather than discussing and handling them in a calm and patient manner. The foundation of any healthy relationship is good communication.

One can understand why you might want to try and act as a mediator. I even experienced that as a kid sometimes, when my parents would argue. However, trying to step onto territory that isn't ours would only ever end poorly. After a certain point, you just have to let them make their own mistakes, because they either won't listen or learn otherwise.

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Hi Gary, 

What I'm understanding here, is your son and his girlfriend are probably not Christians, and living in the same room at your home. Not good. Especially from the description of the anxiety it's causing. Sounds like a very bad spiritual environment for you as well. I suppose at this point, it's irrelevant whether it's due to a financial situation for them, or maybe yours that they are staying with you.

Agreed, that intervening with these arguments is not the best thing either. But, some expectations of reasonable decency between them are in order. It is your home after all. Please don't take this as a rebuke by any means, I have no idea of the personal issues at stake here. Praying for you, and you've got my concerns for your peace of mind. May the Lord bless and guide you through this trial. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles     

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Kick her out. They're not married.

 

This really is a no brainer.

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