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Edited by Ella
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:emot-fail::20:

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I hope you find the strength to overcome such feelings.

You're a child of God regardless of your appearance.

*hugs*

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1 hour ago, Ella said:

whats the point ? who cares...ill just end it now

God cares, he has given you life, he continues to give you life, he sent Jesus to save you. You are of emence worth.

Life might be tough, your emotions might seem to be in control. You have a life to live in the service of Jesus.

Please talk to your parents and yes I'm expecting a reply saying you've qurelled. As a parent I would far rather be qurreling with my son then burying him! Your parents would rather a row with you than visit your grave.

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6 hours ago, Ella said:

i feel so far from God i feel alone in a crowd of people  i tried to become something am not i have no idea who i am 

am so closes to going to the train station and jumping on the tracks  then id be no more 

 

Shalom Ella,

It sounds like you are in quite a storm at the moment! Can I ask what the specific problem is?  I appreciate it may be many, but what would you say the most crucial issue is - or perhaps limit them to 3. Is it the transgender decision? A feeling of worthlessness? Is it abuse?

I would like to help you but I don't really know what it is that ails you so much.  Please respond before you do anything terminal or harmful to you or others.  There are always answers and there is always hope.

Love & Shalom

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6 hours ago, Ella said:

i feel so far from God i feel alone in a crowd of people  i tried to become something am not i have no idea who i am 

am so closes to going to the train station and jumping on the tracks  then id be no more 

 

I have been in that position. No guns here so the nearest thing was a hi-speed train. I was experiencing an 11th hour setback that had me reeling. Do not think you are alone as many of us have been there and have come out the other side of this 'dark night of the soul'. It is truly horrific and debilitating and the demons jump and dance for joy at your situation. Do NOT give them the pleasure of your demise that they so badly want.

When Yeshua shed His blood and died for me He was TOTALLY ALONE facing the Adversary and the men that beat Him and whipped Him and then crucified Him. He did this for us. All of us. INCLUDING YOU.

If you were the ONLY person on the planet, He would still have done this for YOU.

Edited by Justin Adams
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Quite often when we feel distant from God the feeling of distance comes from ourselves. God is always with us. It's just that stresses big and small and our own sense of having fallen short of what we should be creates that feeling of being far from God. It's not too different from when we did things we knew were wrong as children and felt guilty and fearful about our parents finding out. It's normal, and it can also be productive. It can be an incentive to make amends when needed and strive to do better. It becomes negative when we allow it to dominate us and let it push us away from God instead of using it to bring us closer. It's also important to remember that God does love us and that salvation is a gift. No matter what we do we could never earn it, and thankfully we don't have to. It's there for the taking.

Another thing I've found myself recommending to people a lot is immersion. Surround yourself with Godly things and people as often as you can. It's been said that it's easy to be a Christian in church and when surrounded by other believers, and it's true. There are absolutely times when people NEED that and even for the more experienced it helps keep us spiritually anchored.

 

 

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Dear Ella,

I was in the midst of responding to your posts, and cries of desperation here, and the plug on my PC got slightly dis-lodged. Power down. You've been a member for almost five years, and with little input. I'm trying to understand the fragile situation at present, but with not a lot of info, it's difficult at best. 

The thing is this: Nothing is worth ending you life for. NOTHING There's need for an intervention in your life right now, and it's a bit limited for an internet ministry, tremendous as it is. Isolated and alone as you might be feeling, do reach out to someone, somewhere. And get back to us, we're praying for you. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles 

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