Jump to content
Melinda12

How to do this?

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Can i have advice please on how to help bring a dear friend's son to know Jesus Christ. To open his heart and let Christ transform his life. 

He has been an addict for years and deeply depressed since childhood.  He goes on drink binges, gambles any money away, takes cocaine when very stressed. Lives with his mother from whom he steals and borrows money constantly. I have met him and he is a nice person inside, not dangerous just unable to resist temptations. He has seriously attempted suicide many times as he hates hurting his mother and the rest of the family hates him. 

His mother and i became good friends when we met by chance and she asked to come to our church. I have provided a listening ear for a year or so. I have been clear i have no professional skills.  

Her son has all medical and psychiatric help but it is not working. I and his Christian mum know he needs Jesus. Only the power of Christ can set him free. She is a strong lady, quiet and steady. But she is his only supporter. She is elderly and still works as he drains her money. She loves her son and knows he really will kill himself if she abandons him. 

So, i cannot directly talk to him as then he will know that his mother has told me all. 

What advice can i give? What steps to get him to church and understand Jesus loves him and he can come out of this dark pit and into the light? That he need not struggle alone, God is ready to help if only he asks. 

So far i have got our housegroups to pray for him to come to faith. But they don't know any details as i must maintain strict confidentiality.  I pray daily of course.  My great wish is to see this man freed from his terrible chains. Please tell me and his lovely mother how to help before there is a huge tragedy. She is under massive strain. Often she has gone to pay dealers so that they will not hurt him as he owes them money. I find this appalling! An elderly respectable lady doing this. 

Thanks. 

 

 

Edited by Melinda12
  • Praying for You! 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

Sounds like a really tough situation, since you're not able to speak to the mother's son directly. But nothing is too hard for the Lord. Since your friend has come to church with you, perhaps a little encouragement for the son to attend also, would open a door for opportunities. As the previous psychiatric assistance hasn't been much help, perhaps an alternate source in services might be in order. Continue praying fervently, and add mine as well. God bless your endeavors in Him. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

Edited by BeauJangles

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Are there any men who this troubled youth might identify with?

Similar hobies etc.

Otherwise get permission to tell your homegroup more so they can pray more intelligently for him and for his mother and the rest of the family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Melinda12 said:

Only the power of Christ can set him free.

 

If he were clean cut,  well dressed, affluent, with a steady job and career path, a pretty wife and two lovely kids,   how would you share the gospel of Jesus with him? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

Can i have advice please on how to help bring a dear friend's son to know Jesus Christ.

Shalom Melinda,

Let me offer you a different angle on the matter and see how if it resonates with you.

From how you described the situation, it seems that this mother is trying to be his saviour and trying to rescue him by her own strength. I don’t mean she isn’t entitled to be worried sick and want to help in anyway, as any mother would! However, to tolerate money stealing, offering “all medical and psychiatric help”, paying off his dealers and carrying the burden of his potential suicide upon her – is really not right.

Now, I realise it’s easy for me to say such things, being out of the scenario, but bear with me a little longer...

I say she is trying to be his saviour as she is rescuing him from his troubles, his health issues, his enemies and even a horrible death. But at the same time she is asking that her son will find Jesus. Why would he want to? What is the driver for him to seek Jesus?  He is surviving at the moment and, for people in such a mindset and lifestyle, that’s enough. 

I once knew a young man who sounds very similar to your friend’s son. He was led to Jesus and seemed very passionate at first, renouncing his old life.  However, the signs of the old life were still there – the paranoia, the lack of self-control, the sinful ways and the self-judgement. The last I heard, he unfortunately fell away from the path. I pray he comes back to it one day.  My point is that the man still needs to change his ways, even after he has found Jesus.  Yes, God gives us strength but, ultimately, we need to change our ways and renew our minds.  Finding and believing in Jesus is not enough (for even the demons believe). Following him willingly is everything.

So what then? This son of your friend needs to realise that he cannot use his mother as a security blanket and a saviour if he is to discover and rely on God. He doesn’t need to understand that he needs to change – for I’m sure he knows that. He needs to want to change.

My advice would be for the mother to offer him to God – for his safety, salvation and service. That would mean stopping providing her son money (unless for rehab) and preventing him stealing and to stop paying his dealers.  To step out in faith in the Lord and to not burden herself with the fear of his suicide.  Yes, he will go through a horrible time, maybe even a fatal scenario. But that could be the very thing that snaps him out of his stupor and gets him truly WANTING to change and finding God.

Again, it’s easy for me to say. However, if she continues to try to save him in every way, even charging herself with protecting his very life, she is trying to become his saviour. And, even though I don't know her, she will not do a good job, not like the Lord Jesus.  She will do a fair maintenance job but not a good job. 

So, she may need to let him go in faith to hand the reigns over to the Lord.  It will be very scary, but He is faithful.  The Lord may put him through the wringer, but He knows what needs to be done. 

This is not to say she should abandon him though! On the contrary, she should remain in prayer, with fasting and showing her son abundant love and words of wisdom from the Word.

Probably not the advice you were after!  Pray very carefully about this before deciding whether to share this or not.

Love & Shalom

Edited by Tzephanyahu
  • Thumbs Up 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you are right. I will support her whatever she does. Her life is a misery. 

Thankyou for your honest appraisal. It is helpful. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Neighbor said:

 

If he were clean cut,  well dressed, affluent, with a steady job and career path, a pretty wife and two lovely kids,   how would you share the gospel of Jesus with him? 

Well he would have less reason or need to listen. 

I had a good life a few years ago. Happy. Never considered God. Then my husband was told he had terminal cancer. I turned to God almost immediately. Why? Because i was empty. When at rock bottom one is ready to be filled by the Holy Spirit. This man is at rock bottom . 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
    give me neither poverty nor riches;
    feed me with the food that is needful for me,
 lest I be full and deny you
    and say, “Who is the Lord?”
or lest I be poor and steal
    and profane the name of my God.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

you do not even need to speak on someones sins.  just speak the Word... His word will not return void and the truth will set them free.  so plant seeds.  the very basic stuff being John 1... in the beginning was the Word... and the first three chapters of genesis.  explain the fall of man.  explain why people are born sold into sin as a slave and why they desperately need a, no not a... The Savior.  Give some testimony on things God has done for you.  and maybe some more on Jesus death, burial, and resurrection.  once the basics are covered then move into how to become saved, how to seek Him. 

ultimately tho, pray and ask God to give you the words to speak, pray for God to send people to Him to preach the gospel and pray that God would prepare his heart and open his ears to the Gospel.   dont stop praying for him either... even if it looks like its getting worse and his life is falling apart... remember that God does not despise a broken or contrite spirit... when you pray for someone like this God may take them on a journey that will bring them to rock bottom so they will be broken, even more than they are now.  and He may do this to get them to the point where they will cry out to Him because all else in life has proven unprofitable. 

God knows what He Is doing, and His arm is not shortened that He cannot save.  ideally we would like someone to just hear and so oh man, i am on the wrong path... but sometimes it dont work that way, and sometimes it takes time.  its up to God how He will do it.  Just trust Him and leave it in His hands.  He knows more about this young man than you do. 

I only mention this as a possibility.  so dont give up no matter what happens.  You just do your part and let God do His.  I like to say i will do my best and let God do the rest.  God makes whats crooked straight... and in ecclesiestes it says whats crooked cant be made straight... God can do it.  and He gives beauty for ashes.  He can/will restore years... Joel 2:25. 

Do not think this topic is on your heart for no reason.  there is a reason this burden is on your heart.  will pray for you. 

God Speed. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

His mother pays his dealers ?....seriously ?

Sounds like he's very manipulative, conniving and enabled, and needs a swift foot to the posterior region. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...