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backontrack

Cremation or Embalming

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We opted for cremation mostly due to the expense.  A memorial was held at our church.  Tell the sisters to look into the cost of each choice and if they want burial and a service at the funeral parlor and/or grave side they should make the arrangements and start prepaying it now.  

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On 3/13/2019 at 4:15 PM, other one said:

when the time comes your dad really won't care.....   but the difference in the cost can be huge....   My mom and dad made plans for their funeral and had it all paid for so we kids didn't have any say at all....    you might mention that to your dad to set it all up then if your sisters want different they can do it and pay for it.    At 71 and wife 67 we are at the point of setting things up for us....  

 

Personally I have requested to be cremated basically because I don't like the idea of laying in the ground being eaten by worms and bacteria.....   I'd rather be dumped in the bar ditch and at least eaten by something big that moves around.  And as you say, we all turn to dust anyway, sooner or later.    I want to be on my son's fireplace mantel, but he could flush me down the toilet if he wants and I won't care.

 

I don't think the casket is put directly into the ground....it is placed into some kind of secure vault first which is in the ground.   At least that is what was done with my dad's burial in the mid 1970s.    Neighbor probably knows more about this.

On 3/13/2019 at 3:46 PM, backontrack said:

Dad wants to be cremated but my sisters are against this should I fight for my fathers right to be cremated or give into my sisters. Dad will not put it in his will. What does God say about it, is cremation ok or who cares we all go to dust anyway. Comments welcome. 

The Bible doesn't say anything about cremation being wrong.   Many people cannot afford a gravesite, etc, so opt for cremation.

I agree with telling your dad to make the cremation arrangements ahead of time.   Then after death if your sisters are still opposed, let them pay for the burial.   Most people can't afford what that costs and will stick with prepaid cremation.   If your sisters are still willing to pay for it, let them be.   No use you doing a battle for your dad's wishes after death and destroying your peace. 

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*[[1Sa 31:12]] KJV* All the valiant men arose, and went all night, and took the body of Saul and the bodies of his sons from the wall of Bethshan, and came to Jabesh, and burnt them there.

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 The present day expense is insanity on steroids.  Started back when the USA federal government agency FTC was used by political powers to  regulate the industry. What they really did was to make it very expensive to  operate an independent funeral home or cemetery company. Our cost of doing business catapulted.

Soon after the FTC hammer came upon the industry there was a corporate group started  that began buying up the independents, paying the independent operators with stock of the new funeral service corportion. Soon they dominated areas and prices went out of sight. They now own chemical supply companies, casket manufacturers, Cemeteries/Memorial Parks with the  endowment care/perpetual care funds to play with, and they reap a fortune. They are not only in the USA and Canada but Europe and much of the rest  of the world today. 

The marketing is amazing amazingly crude too. Though nice people still work in the funeral industry, the corporate firm itself is  pretty hard sell with  packages Gold -Silver  - Platinum,   etc. It is done much like an old time Dance Studio  presentation. There are a few displays of a casket corner to look at on a wall display and that is it. $8,000, $12,000, $32,000, pick one..  THAT'S NUTS! we used to start at $120 for a complete funeral and  a matching $120 for a complete burial ( Ha that reads funny doesn't it? )  with most funerals costing  much less than $2,000 total for everything. Now cremation with nothing is $3,000. Or if you shop hard and find a rare local independent owner firm it is $1,100. 

Thank your federal government America. And thank Richard Nixon's wage and price comtrol too.  Between Nixon and then the FTC it becam eimpossible to operate inexpensively and provide service. The industry changed to a marketing game and  really a publicly traded corporate stock  driven industry. 

About the same thing has been  happening in medical care industry. 

 

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Note: I have helped friends buy  caskets from independent casket sales retail stores! A whole lot cheaper  by thousands of dollars than one of those corporate chain funeral homes that owns a major casket manufacturer.

As for me I have been at enough funerals, memorial services, to last the rest  of my lifetime. I do not need the comfort of one, I do not need the lifestyle memorial service of happy talk with trinkets of one's life  on display either. Not especially hardened, just find no benefit in funerals of any sort anymore. We have one in the family this month. I have opted not to go as I already had made a major financial commitment  to attend another function  and celebrate  an event with my bride. I know my now deceased family member. I know He is  with my Lord Jesus and has no need of my remembrance of him, nor do I need any comforting. We did all that stuff as we lived,  and celebrated having valued each other whether near or far apart. 

A year ago  we had a clambake in honor of my mother, took a place at the beach and had a grand time. We scattered her ashes at the favorite place of her youth, where my father also was scattered years ago. Cost about $15,000 for a high ol' time for about sixteen of us to stay  on the beach. Pretty cheap per person, fine time,  lots of relaxation, and reflection, a really nice week  after a hard time of  the final illness of a loved one. Beats heck out of a funeral/memorial service at some chapel for an hour!

I state all this with  the demise of a long lived loved one in mind.  For in contrast to that, I do know the value of  gathering, and a formal time of services to help  the grieving individuals  especially upon suffering that sudden death of a  young one,  a young friend, neighbor, or offspring. That is a bit  of a different situation.

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I have a different view ... drop my dead flesh deep in the woods and let it feed nature like it was designed to do ... but that's illegal now a days.

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5 minutes ago, OneLight said:

I have a different view ... drop my dead flesh deep in the woods and let it feed nature like it was designed to do ... but that's illegal now a days.

That is what I have wanted for decades. A green burial. Let me decompose as I should. Non of that nasty embalming chemicals in me. 

 

For the original post ... The God who created the universe is well able to resurrect us no matter what physical condition the body is in. Cremation with scattered ashes, burial at sea, or stuck in the fanciest casket. If how we are buried were important, then the bible would have mentioned it. 

However if your dad is specific about his burial/cremation plans, he really should have it in writing. 

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9 minutes ago, OneLight said:

I have a different view ... drop my dead flesh deep in the woods and let it feed nature like it was designed to do ... but that's illegal now a days.

 

Not really, seek out a green cemetery get dropped in the woods or meadow and soon become one with the pathway.  Search Green Burial  Sites USA

Hey if you are handy and want one you can make your own casket too. No vault is required by "law".  Most formal cemeteries do require something go over the remains such as a "bell liner" to keep the burial site from sinking or becoming  a hazard to walk over.

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