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About difference in relation to children


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My new 30 years old girl wants 3 children.

I confess that I don't like or don't much like little children. Elder children are OK if they are clever. I also feel that I may spend too much time raising children and I want to do something other, maybe more important.

What in particular would you advise for us?

Also, is it any issue that I am white and she is black? I don't think this would create any problems (unless the Israel authorities disallow her to live here we decide to move to Russia and this would make some Russian people to dislike her for her color, not sure how much rasism in Russia, but afraid of it being a serious problem), but I ask to be sure that I don't forget to ask any important questions. What about mixed race children? Any issues with them? Is it true that mixed race children are healthier?

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I don't know how the Israeli authorities are, or how the citizens are. I would say each person is a unique individual, and each one you can discover by getting to know each one. And be ready to be kind to anyone who does not know how to love you > they are missing out on so much, if  they do not know how to love you!!

It helps me if I pray to be ready to love each person who will be with me, today. Even if someone is not able to love me, I can be his or her best friend by being the person's good example of how to love.

I think it is possible that mixed children will not have certain genetic problems which can come only if they are pure of a certain race. There are what you call "double recessive" gene caused disorders, which need to have the bad gene from the mother and also from the father, or the problem can't show. And in case these problems are only in one race, then in a mixed marriage a gene of this kind can't get a partner from the other parent.

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If you do not want children make this very very clear and go and have a vasectomy. So you cannot have children. Your girl friend will leave you as all girls want children.

So either accept that you will have children or get use to living on your own.

There is nothing so important as raising your children. You will never do anything so demanding, so exciting or so rewarding.

 

It is up to you. Tell her you are getting sterilised and that she will never have children with you and say good bye.

Or shut up about not liking children and become a father.

 

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On 3/20/2019 at 5:00 PM, porton said:

My new 30 years old girl wants 3 children.

I confess that I don't like or don't much like little children. Elder children are OK if they are clever. I also feel that I may spend too much time raising children and I want to do something other, maybe more important.

What in particular would you advise for us?

Also, is it any issue that I am white and she is black? I don't think this would create any problems (unless the Israel authorities disallow her to live here we decide to move to Russia and this would make some Russian people to dislike her for her color, not sure how much rasism in Russia, but afraid of it being a serious problem), but I ask to be sure that I don't forget to ask any important questions. What about mixed race children? Any issues with them? Is it true that mixed race children are healthier?

Children, religion, race, even for Christians, these are real issues, because of our desires and because of the pressures of the world. Rather than make a firm choice, it's time for you and they to have some honest discussion, and prayer, to Jesus Christ, for salvation... and wisdom.

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We all have things that we want or expect, but now how often do things go exactly how we want or expect them to? I'm thinking that you're going to end up having kids, but thankfully, I doubt it will be as much as three. Trust me, after one or two, you don't want any more. I don't even have kids and I know that much.

Nobody likes other people's kids too much. I mean, they're little no-neck monsters who never know what they're on about. Then they get older, and they develop a neck, but while they still don't know what they're on about, they think they do. Then you'll miss those days when they wore bibbies and couldn't speak but make noises like ooba babu gab babu. However, if you were to ask any parent if they HATE their kids? Never. No true parent ever would. They might dislike those rowdy teenagers, but they would never hate their children. They would have no regrets over their children. Nothing in your life will feel quite as important.

You might turn a few heads with your race difference - You hardly ever see the white guy/black woman combo. I don't know the situation in Israel or Russia, but most of the time, if someone really makes a big deal about it, they probably aren't worth much anyway. I don't think they will send you off. Children are children, regardless of their mixing.

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On 3/20/2019 at 9:00 PM, porton said:

My new 30 years old girl wants 3 children.

I confess that I don't like or don't much like little children. Elder children are OK if they are clever. I also feel that I may spend too much time raising children and I want to do something other, maybe more important.

What in particular would you advise for us?

Also, is it any issue that I am white and she is black? I don't think this would create any problems (unless the Israel authorities disallow her to live here we decide to move to Russia and this would make some Russian people to dislike her for her color, not sure how much rasism in Russia, but afraid of it being a serious problem), but I ask to be sure that I don't forget to ask any important questions. What about mixed race children? Any issues with them? Is it true that mixed race children are healthier?

If your girlfriend wants children and you don't, either one of you gives way to the other or you split up. It's a rather major life decision!

Mind you, even couples who don't want children sometimes end up having them (it happened to friends of mine - after about 6 years of marriage their contraception failed and the wife got pregnant. After having one child, they thought they might as well go on and have another, so they ended up with two!)

There are very few things more important than raising children... what do you have in mind? And does your girlfriend know about this plan, and is she in agreement with it?

White/black is an issue in some places but not in others. In the UK it wouldn't raise any eyebrows, but in the USA I understand there's still a lot of prejudice against mixed-race couples. I've no idea about either Israel or Russia. 

I'm not aware of any issues for mixed-race children other than racism itself. Certainly no medical problems associated with being mixed race (and if anything, as has already been pointed out, a lower risk of certain genetic illnesses).

I have to confess that I'm not too keen on other people's children either. But it didn't stop me wanting to have my own - I originally hoped to have three, but in the end only had one successful pregnancy. (Which goes to show that this is one area of life where our plans don't necessarily work out) But be assured that your own children are much more lovable. 

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On 3/20/2019 at 2:00 PM, porton said:

My new 30 years old girl wants 3 children.

I confess that I don't like or don't much like little children. Elder children are OK if they are clever. I also feel that I may spend too much time raising children and I want to do something other, maybe more important.

What in particular would you advise for us?

Also, is it any issue that I am white and she is black? I don't think this would create any problems (unless the Israel authorities disallow her to live here we decide to move to Russia and this would make some Russian people to dislike her for her color, not sure how much rasism in Russia, but afraid of it being a serious problem), but I ask to be sure that I don't forget to ask any important questions. What about mixed race children? Any issues with them? Is it true that mixed race children are healthier?

It sounds like you are not compatible. It would be self centered to deny this women children if she wants them. If you have them and you do not like children you might not be kind to them. God does not see color but humans on this earth do. You may have some problems with prejudice. I do know some children who are mixed and they have had some problems in school. Kids are not kind. 

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