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ohso

How to pray for someone who is abusing others?

Question

I'm new in my faith and I've never been in this situation. It's a though one for me.

I've been in an abusive relationship and got away from him. My ex went on to abuse others in his life.

I could only pray for him and others to be well. My ex is not a Christian. He used to harass me for a long time even after the break up.

Through all that time I prayed for him and never wished him harm.

 

Now I found out he is sick . He will probably get well and go back to abusing people like he does as always.

So part of me is kind of glad he is sick and not able to abuse others. I feel like that is his punishment or God is trying to stop him and change him.

 

But, for that, I feel shame and guilt. It's good he is unable to hurt others while he is sick. But I do not feel glad he is hurting. But If there is no other way for the situation to turn out ok for all parties involved, maybe this is good?

 

I don't know how should I pray now? Should I say thank you to God for stopping him finally and maybe wish he stays sick so he can't hurt people anymore?

Or should I pray for him to get well? But what if he abuses people again, that is far more likely.

I just don't know what is the right way to pray about this? I know I should pray for my enemies, but if he gets well others will suffer.

Should I pray for his soul only, not for the body and flesh?

 

I've forgiven him, but part of me feels righteous about this, like finally God's justice is here. I feel bad for having such feelings, like I've somehow caused his pain because God heard me being hurt by him so now he is punished because of me?

 

Should I just pray that it'll be God's will not mine? But what about my feelings of content about the situation? I shouldn't be happy about his sickness, or should I?

 

Sorry for sounding very confusing, but I have ptsd and I'm a survivor of abuse.

Thank you for input. God bless.

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I pray that God's will be done in his life and that he be saved.  

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Pray for his salvation and ask the Lord to stop him from causing harm to others.

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I believe that it's an honorable thing that your heart wants to be in line with God and His will concerning your abusive ex.   Continue to keep your heart submitted to the Lord so that He can bring healing, and pray that God will bring him to a turning point and full surrender to Him.  Also, pray for those he is in contact with, for their protection and that he be prevented from harming others. 

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55 minutes ago, ohso said:

Should I just pray that it'll be God's will not mine?

ohso, of course you can make your godly desires known to the Lord... But this statement gleaned from the post submitted, says quite a lot to me. May God bless you.

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

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 1 Corinthians 14:33. For God is NOT a God of confusion, but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. Ohso, take this statement to heart and quit worrying about what may or may not be. As Willa and others have stated, give it ALL to the Lord, praying, His Will be done. The common enemy of our faith is trying to trap you and keep you in guilt and fear that you have caused this sickness. The sickness is (his) not yours, leave him to God. 

As always, I hope this helps, God bless.

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There are three things to pray for.

That your 'x' will realise that his behaviour is wrong, that he will seek to change and to apologise for his abusive behaviour.

That he might become a Christian.

That he will get better.

It is not possible to retain anger or hurt if one is praying for the good of another. In praying for the good of another you will also be doing good to yourself by removing anf remaining anger, resentment and hurt feelings.

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On 3/22/2019 at 3:28 PM, ohso said:

Should I just pray that it'll be God's will not mine? But what about my feelings of content about the situation? I shouldn't be happy about his sickness, or should I?

 

Sorry for sounding very confusing, but I have ptsd and I'm a survivor of abuse.

Thank you for input. God bless.

If I could share anything with  a new believer it is my heart's desire to share something  that  was missing from my own "walk" for so many lost and unproductive years.  And that is that prayer is a two way conversation.  One of the  most profound experiences I have ever had of His presence and communication surrounded this very  confusion, which I recognize because I shared it :)

I was trying to  figure  out  this prayer thing....after literally years of seeing prayer in terms of duty instead of relationship.  Years of thinking  praying  was just rehearsing all my troubles in His hearing (as if He didn't already know all that :) ), making petitions for what  I wanted, trying to pray for stuff I thought was important to Him....etc.  But....never really expecting Him to answer me...never sitting quietly and just listening.  But He  will answer, longs to answer and longs for us to know His voice.  I'd missed all that for years because i just never knew enough to know that the single most important thing I can do once born again is seek the RELATIONSHIP.  I didn't grow much for many  years.

But, and this is kinda funny really  :)   I was trying to  figure out why  my prayer (all drudgery and "duty") was so powerless and I never seemed to get prayers answered.  I ran across this passage:

Quote
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

So there are some obvious implications involved here.  If I pray  according to HIS will, then He hears.  And if He "hears" then it's "petition granted".  Period

I could see that easily enough but it's frustrating me too.  I literally asked Him "But LORD!  There ain't no book of Third Jostler I can turn to, and flip to an entry  for today  and figure out exactly what to pray for this situation, right here in my face right now.  How can I figure out what Your will for THIS exact circumstance really is?"

 

And this was the funny part but He literally spoke to my mind with a big grin.  it was as if He kinda rapped on my forehead with  His knuckles and said "Hello!  McFly!   pssssst.....I have  to TELL you what  My  will is."

lol...so obvious :)  But He did a lot in me with that little encounter  with  His presence and willingness to speak to me :)

It's no different for any of His  other kids.  Sis just get with  Him and let His presence get so familiar, His voice so easily heard, that He can tell you moment by moment exactly what He wants to do in the lives of those He lays on our  hearts  to pray for.  He'll also show  you exactly how to understand your own emotions toward any person, and whether those are perfectly aligned with His nature and how He feels about anything in particular.  Just snuggle up to Him and trust Him to reveal whether  He desires you to pray a blessing ....or an imprecatory  prayer over anyone or  anything.  He is faithful, and will do it.  He longs for that relationship and intimacy with us far more than we long for it with  Him.

Edited by Jostler
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