Is it suicide tendencies or expressing reaction to pressure?

[Joulre2abba]

1 hour ago, Zemke said:

Jesus goes on to teach about loving not your life in this world. If you seek to preserve your life you will lose it and if you lose your life for his namesake you will gain it.

Loving one's life has the connotation of selfishly endeavoring to have the comfort things of this world by using the methods of this world to get them. If a person will seek to hang on to those things by selfishness, then the person will loose them.

If believers will volunteer to lose all .. like Jesus offered the rich young ruler.. then a believer will gain the higher life. As the apostle Paul stated that he counted all things that he'd gotten .. the perks of righteousness through the law.. to be "gar-bahj" in light of the astounding exceeding gain of knowing Christ.

1 hour ago, Zemke said:

Love not the world nor the things of this world. The verses you quoted are speaking more about experiencing the futility and wretchedness of this place and our righteousness is as filthy rags.

In my study on righteousness through the law I found out that "the filthy rags" are non other than what is called today "female menstrual pads". That brings to mind when Rachel was in her "monthly curse" so she stayed seated and excused herself not to get up and there be found the fertility idols.

It also brings to mind the stain of the woman's clothing due to a dysfunction of the issue of blood, that sickness was by God's law a curse. But, we have been redeemed from the curse. As it says "Though our sins be as scarlet.. they shall be made whiter than snow.

1 hour ago, Zemke said:

Naphtali and Zebulun came to the battle when called while the other tribes hesitated or stayed aloof. Jesus chose His disciples from a people who historically had their priorities straight. When he said follow me, they left what they were doing, didn't they.

Not knowing about that historical part that you bring up.. I had thought that they followed Jesus because they knew Him to be a Rabbi, as was the custom in those days. Who wouldn't say "yes" when the man of God would call? Even so one of them was convinced that Jesus was THE MAN OF GOD.

1 hour ago, Zemke said:

At first, I wasn't so sure those were good proof text verses to understand the situation in Revelation but there may be a principle involved. I too have always read into that verse they were seeking to kill themselves but God prevented it. Interesting, something to think further on. I think I may see what you're getting at.  

Thank you for providing your input.

[Joulre2abba]

1 hour ago, Pencil24 said:

I lost a very dear friend to suicide and someone else I knew when I was 12. I have to say I  actually have been in a place I thought it was better to get it over with than live another day and even tried things in 2007. It is a tough place to be something I would never wish on anyone.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank God for comforting those who are cast down.. to lift them up.. and deliver them from the valley of the shadow of death.

 

[Xethea]

10 hours ago, Joulre2abba said:

I'm not qualified by ordination to encourage you, but I'm qualified by my own experiences of difficulties in life to encourage you.

You have done well in holding fast unto our Savior even through all the problems, troubles and difficulties you've had. But we are not meant to endure in our own power. In your own power you'd just as soon not have been born.

But because of God's love, you were born, because of Jesus crucifixion and because you heard the gospel, you got saved. So go from there and don't wish for what didn't happen (you're not having existed).

What is the difference between you wishing for that, and a mother telling their child that she preferred that the child not have existed? There isn't much difference. You are not loving yourself in the same way that that mother didn't love her child.

Because you initially accepted God's love for you. Stay in that love. That is loving yourself as much as He loves you. And He loves you more than you could ever love yourself. Let what the apostle John wrote be yours "We have known and believed God's love for us." 1 John.4:16. And this one "How great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called His children and so we are." 1 John 3:1.

When we pray to God, we need not tell Him our troubles because He already knows about them. Talking about them during our prayer time will not make them go away, but instead keep things at status quo.. or even intensify our troubles. Saying them however much that you do is planting another row in the garden. They'll sprout and grow and more troubles will be happening to you.

A rule of thumb. Don't talk about what you don't want to happen, but talk about what you do want to happen (within God's will and promises to us that He delights to cause them to happen) because God watches over His word to perform it. Jeremiah 1:12.

So we are to instead return to Him His word that He sent to us. Isaiah 55:11. His word sent is like seeds for us to sow in our own garden of faith.

His will is that we say what He already said about us. What He spoke is His will for us. So when praying, pray according to God's will. According to the apostle John in 1 John 5:13-15 that's when God hears us.. not that he doesn't hear us when we fellowship with Him, telling Him what troubling thing happened each day.. but God is waiting to hear us speak His will.. concerning His comfort to us, to encourage us, to bring His favor into our lives.

And therefore we can know that He will answer us, and we shall receive from Him what we asked for or requested. As long as we stay in faith and doubt not.

When your circumstances are not pleasant or anything to be cheerful about, then begin to quote scripture verses concerning gladness and joy and peace to prevail in spite of circumstances. 

Psalm 42:5 says "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why the unease within me? Put your hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the salvation of His presence."

Psalm 94:19 "When anxiety abounds within me, Your comforts delight my soul."

Jeremiah 15:16 "When your words came, I ate them (that is comparing eating natural food that satisfies the body with speaking God's word and one's heart being satisfied by it) ..

"..and they (God's words) were (are) my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, LORD God Almighty."

...

When you get up each morning quote the scripture "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in Him." Psalm 118:24.

It doesn't matter if you don't feel joyful at the time. When you speak these often, your feelings will eventually comply. Remember that before you confessed Jesus unto salvation you were a sinner, and so you became born again. Before Abraham was a father he spoke what God said about him, that he was the father of many nations. And so he became one.

When you speak your list of troubles, they act as magnates to cause more troubles and problems in your life to happen. So instead say what the Psalmist said in Psalm 5:11-12. "Let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them ever shout for joy. May You shelter them, that those who love Your name may rejoice in You. For surely You, O LORD, bless the righteous; You surround them with the shield of your favor."

Being righteous is who you are in Christ Jesus. So acknowledge boldly what Jesus has made you. Honor Him in accepting His work done for you. As 2 Cor.5:21 said "For He who knew no sin was made to be sin for us, that we become the righteousness of God in Him." And Eph.4:24  said "Put off the old self and put on the new self that is created after God in righteousness and holiness."

...

Here are some other scriptures to rehearse..

Psalm 91:1 "I dwell in the secret place of the Most High God and abide under the shadow of the Almighty whose power no foe can withstand." (amplified version of the Bible)

Psalm 8:1 "From the lips of children and infants You have ordained praise on account of Your adversaries, to silence the enemy and avenger." When you are praising God .. it's like the devil gets a duct tape slapped over his mouth. 

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the LORD’s servants, and their vindication is from Me,” declares the LORD."

Psalm 23:6 "Mercy and goodness shall follow me all the days of my life, and when my life is ended I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

And lastly, concerning those who've spoken unkindly to you.. we are to do God's will and forgive. This is not an area of consulting one's feelings to see if forgiveness is possible. This is an area of the loved child of God telling those feelings to humble themselves to God's will.

Jesus taught that when we pray asking God for anything.. we are to forgive those who've persecuted or offended us. In Mrk.11:25 Jesus said "Forgive if you have ought against any." Eph.4:32 said "Forgive as God in Christ has forgiven you." And Eph.5:1 says "Imitate your heavenly Father as children imitate their parents.

Again, don't let feelings keep you from saying the words. "I forgive that person. In the name of Jesus I forgive." Or words along those lines.

Then you could quote "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name, Your kingdom come. Your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation (troubles, trials, adversities).. but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom, the power, the glory for ever and ever. Amen."

The phrase, "our daily bread" is referring to daily Bible devotional reading.. which is our study time with the Lord, as we take His yoke upon us and learn from Him.

I do hope that these will give you encouragement concerning your life.

I'm praying for you.

Thank you, but I'm no longer suicidal or struggling with that. All that is in the past. It's more that I have a happy, positive view of dying is why I want it, not that I am so miserable I want to die. But simply, people always say "who wants to die? No one!" But that isn't true when you compare this imperfect temporary life to a perfect eternal life. I ask, "who doesn't want to leave this sinful world and their flesh and be made perfect in a perfect place?" If I'm going there anyway, I'd rather go there now. Paul the Apostle agreed he wanted to leave this world as well, but at the same time, he finds a reason why he also wants to stay. I see myself carrying out a mission for the Lord's will, then when my fight is over and I have fought the good fight, then the Lord will call me home when He decides when my fight is over. 

 

But thank you for your encouragement. 

[Joulre2abba]

11 hours ago, Xethea said:

Thank you, but I'm no longer suicidal or struggling with that. All that is in the past. It's more that I have a happy, positive view of dying is why I want it, not that I am so miserable I want to die. But simply, people always say "who wants to die? No one!" But that isn't true when you compare this imperfect temporary life to a perfect eternal life. I ask, "who doesn't want to leave this sinful world and their flesh and be made perfect in a perfect place?" If I'm going there anyway, I'd rather go there now. Paul the Apostle agreed he wanted to leave this world as well, but at the same time, he finds a reason why he also wants to stay. I see myself carrying out a mission for the Lord's will, then when my fight is over and I have fought the good fight, then the Lord will call me home when He decides when my fight is over. 

 

But thank you for your encouragement. 

This is good news. 

My concern that I had for you when I read your first post is now relieved in reading this post.

Like the apostle Paul wrote there are circumstances that arise when the difficulty causes upset, times when I'm shoved out of my comfort zone and I don't feel happy about the situation, but like Paul said I don't get into despair (2 Cor.4:8-9), although I do think that those times would be the excellent occasion for the rapture to happen. 

It's the Christian version of the advertisement slogan "[product name], take me away!"

Thank God, He is a present help in time of trouble.. He is a refuge for all of us to run to and under His wings we do trust.