Depressed boyfriend

[angielongdon]

Hello guys! Lately I’ve been struggling so much with my boyfriend who is actually struggling with depression. This past couple weeks have been so hard, he asked me for time and space because he wasn’t in a good place at that moment. He says it comes and goes in waves. We have been dating for a little over two years and this started happening on November last year. We haven’t broken up we just chose to give each other time and space because he said if he stayed he would only hurt me more and that’s something he doesnt want. Anyways, today he told one of my friends that it was my fault things got worse because I haven’t texted him in two weeks and that I have distanced myself too much. That I basically let our snapchat streak die that same day he told me he needed space. I mean, to be honest it just seems to me he is bringing things up randomly and being petty about everything aka the snapchat streak. He wasn’t very clear when he said he needed to distance himself because he kept saying I don’t know when I’ll be back or IF ill be back and of course it hurts me but he doesn’t see it that way. I thought I was helping him by giving him time and space because like I have mentioned this has happened once before and it seemed to work but he would ocassionally text me to make sure I was there but I am confused and I feel guilty because I genuinely thought I was helping him but apparently I’m distancing myself too much and I don’t know what to do. I need. Someone to help me understand what to do in these cases since I have never dated anyone with depression or had someone close to me experience it. I have prayed so much for him to heal and try to see the positive but his anxiety and depression are getting worse and he’s started to blame me for it when clearly, it’s not me. 

 

Thank you! Any advise you may have I will appreciate it so much. I’m so tired and confused and I need answers and hope from people who follow Jesus. 

 

 

UPDATE!

So im gonna be answering questions by editing this one since I dont know how to use it lol.

So answering @missmuffet he was indeed seeing someone else, he never really was committed to our relationship, he hasn't seen a doctor because he certainly doesn't believe they could help him and also he never needed one. God definitely answered one of my very constant prayers which was, Lord, if he is meant to be in my life, keep him here but show me why and if he is not, show me why and let him leave my life. God said NOOOOO that's not the one but I couldn't see it.  @Who me, I ignored what my friend told me and I did ask him (my boyfriend, now ex) what was up and he would reply very angrily. He... never really answered any of my questions, he would yell at me and leave abruptly and ignore me for ages. @PromisesPromises!, it was never my fault. He never texted me and blamed me on not texting him because he was doing completely different things out there without me knowing about it. Something was not right. He is one of jehovah's witnesses, I used to be one unfortunately but woke up and actually gave my life to jesus that same year and well, he is not really focused on Christ hence why this never worked. I put an end to the relationship because...

 

I found out two days ago he cheated on me. I was devastated and he denied it a 100% by saying all of that was planned and that I was being lied to by others when there was complete evidence on the internet about him cheating- So I confronted him and since he never wanted to tell me the truth, he got frustrated and told me he did this for my own good, that he was keeping me away just so he didn't hurt me. Turns out he lied to this other girl too by saying bad stuff about me, degrading me and telling her we actually broke up on november last year???? I mean. He lied to both of us and I found out about this last thing because the girl suspected something and she knew my social media accounts so she dm'ed me and told me what she thought, I gave her my version and it all made sense. His weird behaviour and his lies. They all clicked. We were both victims of it. The worst thing is he was NEVER DEPRESSED!!!! He used that excuse to keep me away lol, you do not joke with that because that is actually serious. The girl and I became best friends, and found out together about all the lies he could never respond to because we were both right and he lied all along-

 

So I was devastated and this might sound bad but hey, God did this to protect me. I am only 19, and I have so much ahead, so much to learn, and I have to work on putting myself and God first before anyone else. My trust is in the Lord, not in others. God alone, HE IS SO GOOD!!!! GOD IS SO GOOD Y'ALL, HE LITERALLY WENT AFTER ME. I AM SO CHUFFED.

 

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ANSWERS!!!

I hope he learns his lesson. 

 

 

Edited April 24, 2019 by angielongdon
Update!!1

[Who me]

On 20 April 2019 at 5:51 PM, angielongdon said:

my boyfriend who is actually struggling with depression.

Anyways, today he told one of my friends that it was my fault things got worse because I haven’t texted him in two weeks and that I have distanced myself too much.

I thought I was helping him by giving him time and space because like I have mentioned this has happened once before and it seemed to work but he would ocassionally text me to make sure I was there but I am confused and I feel guilty because I genuinely thought I was helping him but apparently I’m distancing myself too much and I don’t know what to do.

Thank you! Any advise you may have I will appreciate it so much. I’m so tired and confused and I need answers and hope from people who follow Jesus.

May I suggest that you ignore what your 'friend' told you and send him a message asking him how are his medication helping him.

If you are going to continue to date him he MUST, he MUST, he MUST be taking medication for his depression.

If he has not seen his doctor and been perscribed anti deprresents and is taking them according to the perscription he is not going to get better.

I'm sorry but if he won't see his doctor or take medication you have no future with him.

 

If he is taking them, send him greetings every morning and tell him you will respond to his txts/messages.

Let him dictate how frequently you communicate.

[missmuffet]

On 4/20/2019 at 9:51 AM, angielongdon said:

Hello guys! Lately I’ve been struggling so much with my boyfriend who is actually struggling with depression. This past couple weeks have been so hard, he asked me for time and space because he wasn’t in a good place at that moment. He says it comes and goes in waves. We have been dating for a little over two years and this started happening on November last year. We haven’t broken up we just chose to give each other time and space because he said if he stayed he would only hurt me more and that’s something he doesnt want. Anyways, today he told one of my friends that it was my fault things got worse because I haven’t texted him in two weeks and that I have distanced myself too much. That I basically let our snapchat streak die that same day he told me he needed space. I mean, to be honest it just seems to me he is bringing things up randomly and being petty about everything aka the snapchat streak. He wasn’t very clear when he said he needed to distance himself because he kept saying I don’t know when I’ll be back or IF ill be back and of course it hurts me but he doesn’t see it that way. I thought I was helping him by giving him time and space because like I have mentioned this has happened once before and it seemed to work but he would ocassionally text me to make sure I was there but I am confused and I feel guilty because I genuinely thought I was helping him but apparently I’m distancing myself too much and I don’t know what to do. I need. Someone to help me understand what to do in these cases since I have never dated anyone with depression or had someone close to me experience it. I have prayed so much for him to heal and try to see the positive but his anxiety and depression are getting worse and he’s started to blame me for it when clearly, it’s not me. 

 

Thank you! Any advise you may have I will appreciate it so much. I’m so tired and confused and I need answers and hope from people who follow Jesus. 

He may be suffering from depression but are you sure he is not dating someone else or is married? It does not sound like he is very committed to your relationship. Has he seen a doctor about his anxiety or depression? You may want to give this guy the boot. Does God really want this man in your life?